Why I came back to India from USA?

“The place where we are born forever attract us, if we leave the place. You are made up of the sand of the place you are born on. It will not let you leave. That’s why people living abroad crave to come back home forever.”

Those are the lines my uncle told me when I was leaving India to settle in USA. I was not aware of the meaning of these lines. I thought I am going to the most advanced country of the world, I will be able to learn a lot of new things there. It will no less than complete freedom. And I reached USA.

What should I say? Just when I entered the airport, I felt I have made a mistake. It felt so bad waving back to my family, standing outside the airport. All of the negative emotions and thoughts started hovering my mind. Shaking them off was so hard, as if I don’t have the energy to do that. Maybe, these thoughts came because I was scared of going to a totally different country. I started worrying about my son that he will not be able to see his family that often. What will I do if something happen to my family? Or what will they do if I’ll need them? My family didn’t have the visa to come to me.

At John F. Kennedy Airport, one of our distant relative came to pick us up. When I reached at their home, they served us food. The taste was totally different from our country, even when all the ingredients were same. The lady said, “No matter how we cook, it will never taste like it tastes in India.” Listening to this, tears started rolling up into my eyes, but I managed to control my emotions. My son was continuously crying to go back home, which made me even more weak and nervous.

Next day, we missed our flight. Another nightmare with a two year old and tired us. Somehow we reached our destination. Luckily I managed to made a friend before we arrived, and she offered us to stay at her place for few days. I rushed to the grocery store, so that I can check if the lady was right about the ‘taste’ thing. Yes! She was right.

Renting process was another nightmare. Being a student with two dependents and no income, no one was ready to give us a house on a rent. They were asking a huge sum of amount in our bank account, which we somehow manage. But I was baffled with the rudeness of the staff as if they were the owner of the property.

Buying car was too difficult for us. I didn’t have the driving license. And my husband didn’t have the proper visa. Uber was eating our money everyday. One of the Uber driver told us not to talk to our son in our native language. Otherwise, he will not be able to speak English properly. It shocked me even more.

So I decided my uncle was right, and I came back. With lots of regrets.

I have so many good memories also. The college and teachers were very helpful and generous. I lost my phone (another nightmare) there but someone found it and returned to me. Some of the Uber drivers were awesome and helped us in many ways. The owner at the Indian grocery store offered us to pay later if we are short on money. My American friend let us stay there for 12 days. My kid loved the parks of the city. I hope I’ll visit the country again, but I cannot settle there.