Ep 2: Veronica and the Double Donut Deal
Still fresh on the job, a stubborn Growth Marketer with a rebellious streak won’t stop until her office’s new promo puts the customers first — and she doesn’t care what the contemptuous Retention Marketer has to say about it.
Veronica shook her head quickly as she snapped up her head and leveled her focus back towards the whiteboard. It happened. I fell asleep standing up. Carl was midway through his weekly Marketing “Pulse-Check” with their team and it seemed like it had been going on for hours.
“After extensive data mining and evaluation of our KPIs, I’ve put together a proposal for an exciting new incubation for our ROI. It will lift sales by an order of magnitude. Best of all? It’s agile.”
Carl turned toward the big screen and pressed the remote control with a flourish. Nothing happened. After a few moments of readjusting cables, the screen finally flashed to life.
“Ladies and gentlemen, Catalyst customers are about to get an excellent opportunity to grow our business. A refer-a-friend program that rewards the referrer with discounts for EVERY new customer they send our way. This is a lean growth hack for sure, but it’s disruptive.”
Veronica raised her hand.
“Yes Veronica?” asked Carl tersely.
“Will the friend get something out of this deal?
“Of course. They get the gift of becoming a Catalyst Couture customer.” A few people snickered.
Veronica was suddenly feeling very awake. “That doesn’t sound appealing to me. I think if a friend pushed a product at me so they could get a kickback, I’d be annoyed. At my friend AND at the brand.”
“Thanks for your feedback, but we’re moving forward with this.” Carl shot back. “The campaign is launching this afternoon, Veronica. You can send me status reports at the end of every day. Thanks. Go team!”
Since when do I report to you? Veronica filed out with the others and trudged back to her desk. Grabbing a banana out of her bag, she headed to the Catalyst Zen Garden — basically a giant indoor terrarium where people could quietly regroup when they felt like burning down a building. At least that was Veronica’s interpretation.
Marco and Jenny were already in the Zen Garden when she arrived.
“We thought you might come here,” started Jenny. “You looked frustrated in the meeting.”
“Yeah,” said Marco. “We saw you through the window. What happened?”
Before Veronica could launch into a full-fledged vent, Carl walked in.
“Oh hey everyone. Veronica, were you just telling them about my awesome new promo?”
“Actually I was just about to tell them that I think it sucks and that it won’t work.”
Jenny gulped her tea. Marco shifted uncomfortably on the moss-covered stump he was trying, unsuccessfully, to recline on.
“Veronica, this is supposed to be a safe space,” said Carl with mock condescension. “I think you have some angst you need to confront. Perhaps outside of work hours? And definitely outside of the Zen Gard — ”
Carl was cut off by a banana that whizzed past him at high speed, landing unceremoniously in a nearby orchid garden. How did that slip out of my hand?! Carl’s surprise turned to scorn.
“Did you seriously just throw that banana? That’s an HR violation.”
Jenny grabbed Veronica’s arm gently and steered her towards the door.
“C’mon Veronica. Maybe you need to cool off.”
At a crowded cafe around the block, Veronica sat hunched over an extra large Americano, half angry, half embarrassed. I can’t believe I lost it like that. I’d better be more careful. She picked up the sugar and tipped it towards her mug, watching the stream of crystals disappear into the coffee. I need this job.
A young couple walked into the cafe and stood in line behind the table where Veronica was brooding.
“This place is my fave!” The girl gushed to her boyfriend enthusiastically. “Plus, I have a coupon. All I had to do was drag your butt down here and we each get a free donut with our coffee. First timers only. Maybe I’ll bring my other boyfriend tomorrow…” She teased.
“Very funny,” He replied, giving her an affectionate squeeze. “You’re right, this place is pretty cool.”
Veronica jumped up suddenly and grabbed a To Go lid for her coffee. I’ve got it. She sprinted back around the block to the office.
Back at her desk, Veronica booted up her computer. Marco poked his head tentatively around the partition.
“Hey. You all good now?”
“Yeah. Sorry about that. I just really hate the idea of losing customers over a bad idea. I guess I overreacted.”
“Hey, you care about people. Caring’s good right?”
“Depends on who you ask, I guess…” Veronica trailed off as she logged into the campaign details. Marco shrugged and disappeared back into his cubicle.
“Ok everyone, Happy Monday! Welcome. Deep breaths in….and out.”
Ephraim led the team in their weekly invocation. Veronica took an extra deep breath. For the past week she’d been sending Carl daily reports on his campaign as he’d requested. But she hadn’t told him the whole truth. Here goes nothing.
“Carl, let’s hear from you and your new referral campaign.”
Carl looked uncomfortable. Straightening his tie, he began “Well, unfortunately it hasn’t -”
Veronica interjected. “Actually, Carl, if you don’t mind may I quickly jump in for a moment?”
Carl looked surprised. Veronica quickly plugged a dongle into her tablet and brought up the campaign on the big screen.
“The campaign has gone better than expected. We conducted a split test with two different deals, one single-sided, and one double-sided, which gave customers a chance to share a special promo with a friend and also receive an incentive themselves.”
Marco stared at Veronica across the table, subtly mouthing ‘You?’. Carl’s face contorted.
“As you can see, though the A test under-performed, our B test resulted in a 25% rise in new accounts.”
“Fantastic news!” Barb clapped her hands. “Carl, this was your idea?”
Veronica gave Carl a pointed look. Go on Carl, take the credit.
“Er, yeah. Yes it was.” That’s what I thought. Veronica shot Carl a wink.
“Excellent work, Carl. I can really feel the creative flow between the people in this room!” echoed Ephraim. “Let’s maintain that energy. Namaste.”
Everyone made their way back to their desks, except for Veronica who waited outside the Serenity Pond for Carl to emerge.
“So Carl, are we even for the Banana Throwing Incident?” She asked as he tried to brush by.
“You know what? No. We’re not. Something’s up with you Veronica.”
Veronica felt a flush rise in her face. What could he know?
“I don’t know what your deal is or why you’re here, but I’m going to find out.”
“I saw an opportunity to make things better for our customers and our company, so I did it. And it worked. That’s all!”
Carl snorted, “Yeah we’ll see about that.”
“Whatever. You’re welcome for handing you the credit back there.” Veronica turned on her heel and marched back to her desk. Uh-oh.
