Why are you doing “not bad”?

Every day, we ask and are asked how we are doing. For a whole lot of people I encounter, the answer is, “Not bad.” Why is that?
I guess “not bad” is mildly comforting in that you’re letting people know they don’t need to worry about you but it’s not actually telling people how you are; it’s telling them how you are not. When I hear “not bad” (or “fair” or “ok”), I often ask people why that is? Why aren’t they doing great?
For me, it’s concerning. It seems a decidedly glass-half-empty descriptor. And, especially if you’re someone close to me, it makes me worry that you’re settling.
When people ask me how I’m doing, I almost without fail respond that I’m fantastic. Usually, I’m telling the truth. And even when I’m forcing the fantastical, if someone presses me for why I’m so fantastic, I can reflect on my world and come up with something. In a way, it’s self-fulfilling.
I got it in my head as a teenager that my goal in life is to be happy and 20+ years later, that remains my focus. I work hard to achieve happiness and if my answer to the How are you doing? question is ever “not bad,” I’ll take that as a call to action to do something about it and get back to being fantastic.
My apologies to anyone offended by the overly simplistic take offered in this post. I wanted to keep it short and that left little room for nuance. Pushback about my failure to mention race, class, privilege and resilience in the face of adversity is warranted and, along with any other critique, will be graciously and humbly received.

