A Very Bad Feminist

I am a bad feminist. I don’t swear by “Lean In” as my personal bible, (though Sheryl Sandberg is undeniably kick ass). I don’t march in protests (though I am profoundly grateful to all of you who do). I don’t even wear “The Future Is Female” t-shirts and the few bras I own are too expensive to burn. Most importantly, I love men and I don’t think “we” are better than “they” are.

All this used to make me feel guilty because, despite having been in denial about it for years, I AM A FEMINIST. There. I admit it. I wasn’t always one. I didn’t notice when I became one. But today ALL of my time and my thoughts are consumed by how I can fix the gender gaps canyons in our society.

Have you ever felt like this? Disturbed by the injustices women face but not quite fitting in with the feminist crews? Please join me in the Very Bad Feminist camp. It’s weird here and we like it.

The Very Bad Feminist Philosophy

In the years feminism crept up on me, unencumbered by existing doctrines since I craftily ignored them, I started to realize that we, men and women, live in parallel universes. The articles we read, shows we watch, subjects we talk about, are shockingly different. Even the most well-meaning feminist dude likely does not read an article every day about how bad shit is for women. Why would he when there is Gizmodo!? Most women I know are now painfully aware how little progress we have made towards gender equality in the last 10 years but most men have no clue. This needs to change.

We Very Bad Feminists firmly believe that men don’t need to “lose” for women to “win.”

We cannot create lasting change from our safe women-only silo. I propose that we stop thinking about gender equality as a “battle,” an “us vs them” where “us” have boobs and are oppressed and “them” have penises and are the oppressors. Rather let’s start to look at this as a very serious problem that is fucking up our society, which people of ALL genders need to work together to solve. Gender inequality is a shared problem. It’s not a divisive battle to the death — though some days many of us feel decidedly bloodied and beat down.

Are you a Very Bad Feminist? If, regardless of your gender, you

A. Believe that our society fucks women over big time

B. Want to do something meaningful about it and

C. Believe we need to work together until we solve this massive problem,

…then this is the place for you.

Welcome. And let’s get to work.

Irka, A Very Bad Feminist