A Military Spouse Who’s Always Voted for Republicans: “I Trust Hillary”
By Rebekah Sanderlin
Fifteen years of war. Nearly fourteen years of marriage. Three children to care for, over eighteen deployments.
These are some of the numbers that make up my life. Eighteen is a huge, ridiculous number of deployments. Some have been as short as six weeks long, others have stretched for a season or two. Four have lasted for 10 months. In all, my husband has been gone much more than he’s been home, and we are preparing now for a 19th deployment — another long one.
Fourteen years ago, when my husband asked me to marry him, deployments were a hazard I knew would come with the relationship. I viewed supporting him through those deployments as my part of the post-9/11 war effort. I would not have made a good soldier, but he’s an excellent soldier. I encouraged him to stay in the Army, and I accepted the challenges this lifestyle would bring for me. It was what I could do for my country.
I have voted in three presidential elections as a military spouse. Each time, I’ve voted Republican. In 2008, I waited for hours, cradling my then 7-week-old daughter, so I could get a front row spot at a John McCain rally. Last summer, another military spouse and I started an online group to generate support for Jeb Bush’s campaign.
Republicans have received my vote in each of these elections because I have trusted them to use my husband’s service and my family’s sacrifice wisely. This year, my vote will be going to Hillary Clinton for that same reason — and not just my vote, but my dollars and my volunteer hours, too.
I trust Hillary. She analyzes and considers the angles. She’s done the homework and is ready to get to work. She is steady, reasoned, conscientious and, yes, calculating.
For some, these are the negative attributes of a career politician. For me, these are the responsible steps leaders take when they appreciate how much is at stake.
For eighteen deployments, I’ve had to be calm, reasoned and steady for my husband and family. I cannot afford to be irrational or untethered. I don’t get to lose my temper or composure.
Eighteen deployments mean that I have buried my husband thousands of times in my mind. Not because I’m morbid or unloving, but because I’ve had to. Together, before each deployment, he and I research burial plots, pick pallbearers and select songs to be played during his funeral. He gets his dress uniform dry cleaned and makes sure the ribbons are up to date, so that he can be buried in it. No one wants to make these decisions when they’re grief-struck. We have planned for every detail within our control because there are so many details outside of our control.
While he’s been deployed, I’ve sat in chapels alone during funerals for the many friends he and I have lost to war. I do not get to pretend that it couldn’t have just as easily been him. He’s had so many close calls. IEDs that didn’t explode. RPGs that bounced off his Humvee without detonating. I’ve heard the bullets and blasts in the background during some of our phone calls. I’ve learned about his day from news stories that triggered my Google alerts. Once I heard about him on NPR as I was driving home after picking our kids up from school.
I cannot afford to let my children see me worry. I cannot afford to be reckless. I am steady. I am cautious. I am calculating. Analysis and planning make crises easier to handle. Responsible people know this.
There are many reasons to not support the Republican candidate this year, but, for me, there is one issue that trumps all the others: trust.
I do not trust Donald Trump to be calm, steady, reasoned, conscientious and calculating. He has shown throughout this campaign that these are traits he does not have. I do not trust him to speak or act in our nation’s best interests or to wisely deploy the gift of service my husband and other troops have granted.
For the first time in eighteen deployments and fourteen years of marriage, the man in the Oval Office might be a commander I do not trust. I have imagined countless awful scenarios, but I cannot imagine that.
Rebekah Sanderlin is a freelance writer who lives in Northwest Florida.
