Bruce, Angus, and My Mom

On Wednesday night, I went to see was a graphic design lecture at the New York Public Library. Haven’t been there in 10 years. But saw the name of Michael Bierut and had recently seen a book he wrote so decided to go check it out.

As I walk into the lobby of the NYPL, I see a sign (below) for a totally different event taking place there…

The sign read, “Bruce Davidson and Matt Dillon.” I know that name. Not Matt Dillon (though I know him too). Bruce Davidson is a famous photographer — and I know him because he is the man my mom was married to before she met my dad.

A few days before I saw the sign, I put on a “metaphysical variety show” (flyer below).

I named it that because my mom put on a metaphysical variety show in 1965 (almost exactly 50 years ago if you’re looking for numerical symmetry) and I liked the name. She never mentioned this show to me. But I knew about her version after finding this typewriter flyer (below) at an art show in Chelsea a few years ago…

That also fell into my lap randomly. My friend Steve saw this article in the NY Times: “The Velvet Unknown, Now Emerging.” It was an art show by Angus Maclise, another artist my mom had dated back in the 60s (after she was married to Davidson). Steve, a fellow Velvet Underground fan, and I had previously discussed Maclise so Steve emailed me, “Isn’t this the guy your mom dated?” Indeed. (Insert joke about how my mom gets around here.)

Steve and I went to that art show and that’s where I saw the typed flyer. That led to me doing some Googling…

(Weird. The coffeeshop where I’m writing this just started playing “Can I Kick It?” by Tribe Called Quest. The opening sample: “Walk on the Wild Side” by ex-Velvets member Lou Reed. Hmm.)

Last week, I posted the two “metaphysical variety show” flyers (mine and hers) on Facebook and my friend Chris mentioned we should find out the “rites of the dreamweapon” that were mentioned in the flyer. So I Googled that phrase and found this flyer (below) that was designed by my mom and Maclise for sale at an art auction site. I went ahead and posted the flyer on Facebook too because I thought it looked cool.

Also, I noticed the address of the event was 85 E. 4th St. That’s now the EastVille Comedy Club, a place where I’ve done standup. Feels like things keep looping around.

Fun story about how I learned about Davidson’s existence: I came home from Chicago when I was 21. I had just moved there. My mom was at the kitchen table and we were talking about Chicago.

mom: “is it really segregated there?”

me: “yeah, the black people live on the south side and the white people on the north side.”

mom: “yeah, it was like that when i lived there.”

me: “when did you live in chicago?”

mom: “when i was with bruce.”

me: “who’s bruce?”

mom: “oh, i never told you? (pause) i was married before i met your father.”

me: “um, no. you never told me that. i’m pretty sure i’d remember if you had.”

We wound up talking about Bruce that day. About how she travelled in the south with him in the early 60’s when he was working on “Time of Change: Civil Rights Photographs, 1961–1965.” She explained the marriage didn’t last long. She told me she wanted to escape her home and New York City after her sister had died and that marriage felt likethe only way out back then. It seemed very Mad Men. She didn’t talk much about him again after that conversation.

So Tuesday I post that flyer to Facebook, and Wednesday I go the NYPL and see the sign for this Davidson/Dillon talk. I haven’t been in this building in 10 years and the one day I show up, I walk in the door and run smack into this sign? Damn, that’s weird. I decide I need to go.

There were about 1,000 people there. It was an interesting talk about his work photographing Brooklyn gangs in the 50s, civil rights stuff in the south in the 60s, Harlem in the 60s, the NYC subway in the 80s, etc. (His photos.)

Matt Dillon interviewed him because he’s been a lifelong fan. It started when he discovered the Brooklyn gang photos that Davidson took and photocopied them and put them on his walls to help him get into character when he was preparing for his role in Drugstore Cowboy.

I wrote some notes during the talk. Bruce on his subjects: “I didn’t try to judge them. I tried to get close to them.”

He talked about “the sex appeal of poverty and a building falling apart.”

That “sex appeal of poverty” line reminded me of this song:

He talked about why he likes to work alone: “I like to be alone. When you have someone else there, there’s a tension.”

His advice to photographers: “Always come back. Don’t just take one picture and leave.”

When it ended, I went to say hello to him. He’s in his 70s now. He remarried and has a couple of kids. I said hello and I mentioned my mom’s maiden name and he seemed taken aback. I told him she was my mom and he said, “You have a sister too, right?” I do. See, Davidson met my sister at a book signing in DC years ago.

I asked him what years he was with my mom. He had to pause to figure it out. “1962 and 1963. Because I took her with me to the South.” Not sure what question to ask next, I asked him if my mom was crazy. “No. Not then, anyway. I do remember her showing up years later when I was giving a lecture at ICP. She wore a red dress. I thought it was odd that she would just show up like that.” I didn’t really have much to say after that and a line of people were waiting to talk to him. So I said goodbye. If I had it to do over, I’d also ask him this: “Why did you guys break up?”

So random. Two days in a row and two encounters with my mom’s past via her exes and art and NYC. I’m not a big believer in that kind of thing. But I just walked into the library at exactly the right time on the right date and I’m supposed to think that’s just a coincidence?

My mom mentioned both Angus and Bruce to me briefly when she was alive. But mostly she didn’t talk about her past before my Dad came along. I think being a mother and moving to the suburbs represented a move away from that time in her life. And I think maybe she wanted to respect my dad and felt talking about her past was uncouth. He passed away a couple of years ago though so maybe now it’s ok for her to “communicate” about her past? Or maybe that’s an illogically mystical explanation and something else is going on.

As I’m writing all this down, I realize something else: Sunday is Mother’s Day. Quite a week for Mom stuff.