Maisha Mazuri
Notes from a safari adventure in Tanzania and Rwanda
I went on safari in Tanzania and Rwanda in the summer of 2018. Below are photos I took with a Canon T3i and notes I jotted along the way.
A working unit
I thought maybe we’d see an animal here and there. I didn’t expect to be inundated with them. Herds everywhere. And all the animals hanging out together. Zebras, giraffes, wildebeests, baboons, impalas, water buck, wart hogs, etc. They work as a unit. They do not fight, they cooperate. The birds (e.g. yellow bellied ox pecker) alert other animals when lions are near and eat the ticks on their skin. The baboons have good eyesight and since they’re up high, they can see predators from far away. Same with giraffes. The wildebeests have a keen sense of smell. So do impalas. Together, they form a collective. It’s not every man, er, beast, for himself. It’s a system. Fascinating to watch. Interconnectedness in action.
Tails
Tails are not for decoration. They move like windshield wipers all the time. They are constantly swatting bugs away. The wart hog sticks his tail up when he runs so others can follow him (like a tour guide at a museum holding up an umbrella). And the hippo spins his like a propeller in order to spray his feces all over the place. (The smell is how he finds his way back home. Imagine a revolting version of Hansel and Gretel.) Speaking of hippos, they are disappointing. They seem like prehistoric walrus pigs. They do nothing but flop around in the mud and grunt. Time to evolve!
Noises
There is a constant symphony of grunts and braying. Zebras and wildebeests are the loudest. The baboons make a ruckus too. When impalas lock horns, you hear a smacking sound. When lions eat a wildebeest, you hear the bones crunching and the skin ripping.
Predator and prey
The lions eat all of the wildebeest. They even lick the eye sockets clean. But then those same lions get up and go to the watering hole and only dip their tongue in the water for a split second before scanning for crocodiles. Everybody is scared of somebody!
Why zebras can’t be tamed
According to our guide, zebras don’t feel pain and that’s why they can’t be tamed like horses. You need to feel pain in order to be tamed. (Note: The internet responds, “Zebras’ unpredictable nature and tendency to attack preclude them from being good candidates for domestication.”)
All body, no brain
Ostriches are all body, no brain. When the male wants to mate, he turns bright pink. He looks like he’s about to burst. He’s that way for a week. When he finds a female ostrich in heat, he runs up to her and dances for her. Then she decides whether or not he makes the cut. I’m rooting for ‘em. They look so horny that they’re in pain.
The bachelors
Elephants stay in a herd. Except for the bachelors (i.e. young adult males who don’t yet have “the right to reproduction”). They get kicked out of the group. They must fend for themselves and wander around on their own until they are old enough to challenge another male. They look really lonely wandering around on their own in the middle of nowhere — but maybe that’s just putting human emotions/expectations where they don’t belong. Animal life seems so brutal to us; But it doesn’t seem to phase them too much. C’est la vie.
Escorts
We stay in tents at night. We gather for dinner but we’re not allowed to walk back to the tents alone since there are animals everywhere. So a Masai tribesman escorts us back when we are done eating dinner. He carries a spear and a flashlight. I always ask them, “Seen any animals tonight?” One night there was a lion, a buffalo, and a hyena spotted on the property. Another place we stayed at had a monkey next to the pool and a dik-dik roaming the grounds. I went for a run in front of our tents one night (we’re not allowed offsite) and our guide said to be careful because if a lion sees me running back and forth he might think I’m a stick and decide he wants to “play with the stick.” I do not want a lion to play with me.
Everybody loves Raymond
Our guide, Raymond, sees everything. He can spot the slightest anomaly on the horizon from miles away. His eyes are human binoculars. He constantly says, “Maisha mazuri” (“Life is good” in Swahili). He sees footprints in the road and knows a lion is nearby. He is equal parts tracker, guide, babysitter, cheerleader, photography expert, driver, mechanic, and zoologist. He’s one of the most impressive people I’ve ever met. He is so good at his job that one of his clients flew him to America and paid for him to take a vacation there for a month. The client even let Ray drive his Corvette in Oklahoma. (Ray’s dream is to own a corvette! “I don’t care what color, I just want a corvette.”) I wish I had seen Ray in Oklahoma. Also, he went to Las Vegas on that trip. He went to the Venetian casino and was extremely confused by the painted sky located on the ceiling there. I had no good explanation for him on that one. I now wish there was a reality show of Ray visiting America. It’d be like a real life “Coming to America.” It also made me think of a funny idea for an animated show/movie where a a guide like Ray conducts a “safari” in America but all the tourists he’s showing around are animals from the Serengeti and they come to take photos of /learn about humans.
Endless plains
Serengeti means “the endless plains.” When you are there, you understand why. You look in every direction and there is nothing but horizon.
The animals don’t care about you
You’d think cars would spook the animals. But they don’t really care we are there. As long as we stay in the Land Cruiser, we just seem like another animal. An odd, large, metal animal that makes strange noises. It is only when someone steps out of the vehicle (or sticks a limb out) that they are in danger. One day a lion came right up to our car and lay down on the ground underneath our tires. Why? It was the only source of shade around and the cat wanted to cool off. The only time I got scared was when a leopard strolled alongside us and gave me the stink eye. I immediately shut my window.
Instincts
A safari gives you a newfound respect for instincts. Nature operates without analysis. Everything knows exactly what it is supposed to do. Why don’t we? I think our confusion stems from overthinking. If we were more like the animals, we could just be. Just exist and chill out. Even when the animals are freaking out (most must constantly worry about predators who are out to get them), it only seems like a speed bump in their lives. It is all so natural. I wonder how many of the problems humans face stem from how we have abandoned our nature.
Controlled burn
There are intentional fires all around. The controlled burns keep the grass from overgrowing and prevent more aggressive fires. After the burn, the ground is black. But then fresh grass emerges. And the animals like the new grass. The different shades make for cool texture in photos too.
Miami Vice bird
My favorite bird is the lilac breasted roller bird. It has neat pastel colors and looks like it belongs on Miami Vice. I want to have a vacation home and use the bird’s color scheme as the colors of the walls.
Swahili
Swahili is a beautiful language. Everything sounds like a song. There is a constant refrain of melodious “assante”s and “karibu”s (thank you/you’re welcome) that go back and forth. There are lots of ng- (e.g. Ngorongoro Crater) and tk- words. Also, they roll their R’s in a dramatic way. This is very entertaining when the guides talk on the radio and say “rrrrrrrrrrrrrroger” to each other. It’s wildly inefficient yet also rather glorious.
The Lion King
“Hakuna matata” is a real phrase. Who knew? I assumed it was a made up Hollywood term. And Simba actually means lion. Wart hogs are hilarious and should totally be voiced by Nathan Lane. I’m starting to respect Lion King more and more. Pretty sure whoever wrote it went on a safari first.
Red clay run
One lodge we stayed at was outside the park so I got to go for a run on the streets nearby. They were red and dusty. They reminded me of a clay tennis court, like the ones at the French Open. As I was running, every child yelled out to me. “Jambo! Jambo!” (That’s “Hello.”) I yelled it back. One woman yelled, “I love you.” I felt like Rocky running through the streets of Philadelphia.
Simple life
Life as an animal is pretty good, for the most part. It’s basically about feeding, sleeping, mating, going to the watering hole, and migrating. The only downside is the constant worrying that a lion will grab you and turn you into dinner. But otherwise, maisha mazuri! Also, animals are not very P.C. Maybe being P.C. is what separates us from the animals. Could be that’s the root of our problems too.
Storied past
Travel heals the soul. One of the other people on the safari is Neil, a 60+ geologist. On first blush, I would think Neil and I have nothing in common. But Neil has lived all over the world. He’s a geologist and energy companies pay him to go to strange places and do things I don’t understand. Saudi Arabia, Australia, etc. Well-travelled people always have good stories. He told me he was once in a small town in western Montana when a fight broke out between loggers and Hell’s Angels. He told me the loggers tarred and feathered the bikers. I asked if he was serious and he said yes. Don’t mess with loggers, I guess. I asked for his hidden travel gem. His answer: Bali. And another night we talked about how he lived in northwest Australia. It was him and one other guy living amongst the aboriginal people, 4 days drive away from any civilization. He said they had to eat donkeys all the time! They’d shoot ’em and cook ’em up. And he actually wrote a book of donkey recipes that he could pass along to the next person stationed there.
Van language
There are vans that serve as public transportation in Arusha (the largest city we visited in Tanzania). They have various phrases painted on the windshield. Here are some of them:
Jerry Trans
Mamba Safari
Work Hard
Redemption Voice
Allahu Akbar
Sea Never Dry
Shalom
Ifumu
Paradise
Network
Top Jesus
Master Born
Trust Me
Photo Me
Glory to God
Genesis
Face of the queen
“We will keep looking what the nature will provide us.” This is what our guide constantly says. I enjoy that. Also, when we arrived at Kilimanjaro, we couldn’t see the peak of Mt. Kilimanjaro since it was cloudy. Our guide told us: “Kilimanjaro is like the face of the queen. She only shows you when she wants to show you. You may only be able to see her for a few hours a week.”
Migration hallucination
We saw a wildebeest migration. Hundreds of thousands of them. Wildebeests everywhere as far as the eye can see. Every direction. We drove past these beasts and I was reading Michael Pollan’s book on psychedelics and taking photos and it felt like the mystical descriptions of hallucinations were happening all around me.
Stuck like Mr. Rabbit
One of the other Land Cruisers got stuck in the mud. The wheels just spun around. No traction. All the other driver/guides around pulled over and teamed up to help — but not before having a good laugh at the driver who was stuck in the mud. It was quite a project. Our guide, Ray, put on his rain boots (they call them gum boots) and the other guides laughed and praised his wife for packing them for him. First they placed a chain under the front of the stuck vehicle and attached it to the back of ours and we tried to drag him out. But that just sank the stuck car deeper in the mud. Then they hooked up a second car with a chain to the front and tried pulling him out with twice the power. Nope. Then they tried the reverse, pulling him from the back using two cars while he tried to hit reverse. No dice. He wound up even deeper. Plus the roof was open and all the passengers inside got sprayed with mud. On to Plan C (also, time to close the roof). They got the passengers out. All the other guides pulled out machetes (you never know when you’ll need your machete) from their vehicles and started chopping down branches from surrounding trees. They placed the branches underneath the tires. Another Cruiser pulled up with a tow line. Now three cars were pulling. They yanked and yanked and finally the car was freed. The 20 or so tourists scattered around (we all had left our vehicles) cheered and everyone celebrated. Then it was time for the drivers to clean up and we all got back to the task of trying to find the rhinos we’d heard were nearby.
The whole incident was reminiscent of the story of Mr. Rabbit from Richard Scarry’s Busy Busy World. The Mr. Rabbit story: He gets stuck in a sidewalk because he was reading the paper while walking and didn’t realized he had walked onto wet cement. The whole town gathered around trying to free him. They tried to blow him out with a fan. Then they tried to spray him out with a hose. Then they finally used a digger to scoop him out. He thanked them and swore he’d watch where he’s going from then on. But the last frame is him reading the paper about to walk off the end of a pier into the water. Richard Scarry is the best. Anyway, our guide Ray told us that there’s a code amongst all the guides. If one gets stuck, all the rest need to help get him free. If they don’t, the rest of the guides will refuse to help him whenever he gets stuck. They’ll just drive by, wave, and laugh at him. The guides are quite a fraternity, actually. They pass each other on the circuit all the time and do a “stop and chat” where they greet each other, talk about what animals they’ve seen, and exchange pleasantries. I bet there are a lot of “You seen any rhinos?” (Rhinos are hard to find.) The rest of us tourists just sit in the back and wonder what on earth they’re saying. I imagine at least some of the time they’re talking smack about us in Swahili.
Landscape
I knew the animals would be great but I didn’t expect the environment to be so cool. The landscape is otherworldly. The Ngorongoro crater was especially gorgeous since the crater walls provided a majestic backdrop. (Plus, Ngorongoro is a cool word.) The Serengeti setting feels like a western filmed on the moon. Even when they burn the grass, it gives a Mad Max sheen to the place.
And I love the trees here. They are so different than the ones we are used to in America. Some have flat tops. Some grow in zigzag patterns. Some have normal trunks but then erupt in a candelabra of cacti. Others are stick thin yet have branches that curve like menorahs. The baobab trees that are everywhere seem prehistoric. The sausage tree has fruit hanging down that looks like, you guessed it, sausages. Other trees have vulture nests. The fig trees have exposed root systems that look intricate and ancient.
Also, the trees are spaced out far apart from each other. One here, one there. They don’t bunch up frequently like a typical forest. It all makes me think about how architecture impacts culture. For example: How having ancient cathedrals everywhere gives Europeans a connection to the past and an appreciation for art, details, and history that Americans, surrounded by shopping malls and generic skylines, seem to lack. And I wonder if the same is true in Africa. Maybe the music from here is so funky because the trees are so funky. If you wake up every morning and walk past trees that zig and zag in odd directions, maybe you decide to play your instrument in a way that zigs and zags. Maybe the baobab is the Fela Kuti of trees.
Slo mo
Giraffes always look like they’re moving in slow motion. There’s something very majestic and elegant in their fluidity. Odd since their bodies are shaped in such a weird way.
You get used to it
Crazy how acclimation works. The first time we drove into the park and saw zebras it was a real OMG moment. Goosebumps. Within a week, we’re like, “Oh, zebras again.” Sigh. You get used to everything. The trick is to figure out how to keep that feeling of when you first drove into the park.
Collective nouns
It’s a pod of hippos. Who knew? The collective nouns for animals are always so odd:
shrewdness of apes
troop of baboons
sloth of bears
bask of crocodiles
convocation of eagles
swarm of eels
band of gorillas
cloud of grasshoppers
troop of lions
flock of ostrich
crash of rhinoceros
zeal of zebras
Look sharp
People in Rwanda look sharp. They wear exotic prints while carrying baskets on their heads. They wait for the bus in neon colors. They herd cattle while wearing fedoras and blazers. They’ve got no money but they’re very fashionable. It’s impressive.
The land of 1,000 vegetables
I had no idea Rwanda would be so gorgeous. The landscape everywhere is breathtaking. Agricultural fields throughout. A province we stayed in is called “the land of 1,000 vegetables.” Potatoes everywhere. Carrots. Tea. Mountains in the background. Volcanoes. Forests. Everywhere you look seems like a photo op.
Genocide
We went to the genocide museum. It happened in 1994. Words fail. It all went down in just a few weeks. They had been prepping. The country turned on each other. Over a million dead. Unspeakable brutality. Blame the colonialists (per usual). The Belgians came into a peaceful land and labelled them as different groups and divided them up and slotted them into groups on identity cards. Eventually those groups hardened. And turned on each other. Eerie parallels to America now too. The media stirring up the masses with propaganda. The otherizing of the “enemy.” What’s the opposite of personification? Animalization? Well, they did that too. Hutus referring to Tutsis as “cockroaches.” And then it was over. What does a country do then? The Jews left Germany. But the victims and perpetrators here had to live together. You can’t just throw half the country in jail. They used a system of restorative justice. Gacaca courts. The evildoers apologized to the victims. Prison and community service. It was a peacemaking effort that extended beyond how western justice systems work. Merely asking someone whether they are hutu or tutsi now will get you 5 years in jail, according to our guide. And it seems to have worked. The place feels peaceful. There is little crime. Everyone seems to get along. The cynic in me says that something must be buried underneath that calm — that you can’t turn a ship around that quickly. But life goes on. Our guide lost his whole family in the genocide. Yet I’ve never seen someone smile more.
Gorillas and monkeys in Rwanda
We hiked to see mountain gorillas and golden monkeys. The gorilla family we saw had 32 members, including a two day old baby. It’s surreal to follow guides into a forest and hack away a path with a machete and then stumble into a clearing where gorillas are just chilling and eating plants. Only 96 people a day get a permit to do it. We separated into groups of about 10 people each. You hike with guides and porters to a clearing. That’s where the trackers (who spend all day keeping track of the gorillas and monkeys) meet you. And one military member with a machine gun (used to scare away buffalos). You get to spend an hour with the gorillas. Hustling between various members of the family. A mother nurses her baby. The head male silverback shovels plants into his mouth. They scurry up trees. One takes a leak from up above. The tourists scurry around and take photos and shoot videos. It’s amazing how human the gorillas seem. Very expressive. One walked inches away from me. And then it’s all over. They shoo you out. The trackers stay behind and hang with the gorilla family all day until nightfall. Then they pick up the scent again the next day. The next day we saw the golden monkeys in the bamboo forest. Those guys are a real show. Running around everywhere, swinging all over the place, scurrying, eating leaves, etc. The gorillas are tame in comparison.
Rwandan interactions
Kids line the road in Rwanda. They all want to wave and scream “hello” at you. On our first day in Rwanda, our guide said be careful. If you give one of them some money or candy or whatever, a bunch more will appear out of nowhere. My sister gave one of them a candy bar. Instantly, 15 other kids showed up as if they’d parachuted onto the scene. Our guide also told us it’s common for Rwandans to want a photo with you. They will then show that photo to merchants and tell them that they have a wealthy foreign friend who will pay for the purchase later. He also said watch out for people who want your email. They will contact you later asking for money. But overall, everyone seems like they’re genuinely nice and not trying to milk you. Though I did take a shot of one kid and instantly he just started yelling “money” over and over. I appreciated the directness of the request at least.
VIPs
VIPs love mountain gorillas. Our guide showed us photos of him taking Ellen Degeneres and Portia DiRossi to see the gorillas (apparently Ellen is donating a bunch of money to build a school that trains guides). He also had shots with Harrison Ford and Calista Flockhart and their son. (He said great stuff about Harrison.) Leo stayed in our hotel. Warren Buffett’s kid is leading a fundraising effort in the village. I guess everybody’s on board with gorillas. But it’s weird to be in such a poor country knowing that all these bigwigs are flying in constantly to live a VIP life while everyone else is lugging around drinking water in jugs and bananas on their head. Maybe the VIP scene is why the governor of the province is hanging out at our hotel all the time. He sits at the bar sipping wine and introduced himself to us. He likes to talk. He was campaign manager for the President of Rwanda. He showed us the photos that prove it. He took a shine to me. His son went to Northwestern University, just like me. Then he wanted to take a photo with us. And then wanted my phone number. That struck me as funny because it’s exactly what our guide warned us kids on the side of the road might do if we give them a candy bar. Is the governor going to email me and ask me for money!? The next night he joined us for dessert. He wanted to follow me on Twitter so I gave him my handle. I hope he’s ready for what I post there. It’s not exactly, um, diplomatic.
Eyesight
The guides who lead safaris all seem to have amazing eyesight. The slightest anomaly on the horizon gets spotted. Our guide Ray eyed lions from miles away. His normal eyesight is better than tourists using binoculars. But I wonder if somewhere deep down, we all know how to see like that. Because you don’t really need to “know” how to see. You just do it. Perhaps we lose that ability for deep sight when we don’t use it. Maybe everyone here is able to spot any slight motion on the horizon because they grew up wanting to make sure lions weren’t nearby. It reminded me of a hilltribe trek I did once in northern Thailand. Everyone in the village had the most amazing singing voice. It made me wonder if we all have the ability to sing well, it’s just that us westerners get so distracted that we lose it.
Animal paparazzi
Safari turns you into a paparazzi. You’re a pack of hungry photographers chasing around the animal versions of Dodi and Di. I’m as guilty as anyone. I want the shot. But it sure takes away from your enjoyment of the actual moment. The golden monkeys were near impossible to shoot. Flying around all the time. And their faces are what make for great photos but it’s so hard to capture them in the light. I wound up in a dried out riverbed with one of them. I took a bunch of shots and then just put my camera down. I sat with the monkey. It was a qualitatively different experience than trying to photograph it. It felt trippy and surreal. I had to put the camera down to get to that point.
The constant need to capture photos during a safari reminds me of how we approach food. Imagine you get one of the best chefs in the world to prepare you a meal. But instead of eating it, you spend all your time packaging it up in Tupperware and freezing it so you can enjoy it later. You miss out on the great meal that’s right in front of you. Maybe you’ll get some of that enjoyment later. But at the end of the day, frozen leftovers are still just frozen leftovers.
Return trip
I’m back. Trip home was Rwanda to Ethiopia to togo to Newark. It’s true, that place is a real shithole. (I’m talking about Newark.) Honestly, I didn’t even know Togo was a place. I just saw “Lomo” on the departure screen next to my flight number and had to Google it. Wasn’t even listed as a stopover on my ticket. I guess in Africa, the plane just stops wherever it wants and you just gotta roll with it.
Road quality
“The worse the road, the better the destination.”
-Deb Nishida
Take me to the river
One time, I asked our guide if he was lost. He said, “We are never lost. Just show me where the river is.” Once you find the river, you can always get home.
Final sunset
On our last day in Tanzania, we were headed back to our camp. Then our guide spotted lions. We pulled over. The sunset on the left was breathtaking. On the right, there was a family of lions playing in the tall grass. As the sun descended, the cubs crawled on their mother. One of them locked eyes with me. I gazed back. Then, I turned back to the sunset. It was a lot to handle. I began tearing up. I turned to my sister and whispered, “Thank you for bringing me here.”
See more photos from the trip.
