He set the water down and said, “You know what? This water is older than anything. It’s real old, this water. All water is. Water’s older than all of us, our whole history. We were born into water. We learned to survive in it. We made life in the water. It makes up a whole lot of what we are. We still need it every day. Can’t live without it. Yep. This water, this water’s old water. It sprang up while the earth was cooling down. Once it covered everything. It supported all life. Every drops the same drop that’s been around since before ages. George Washington might’ve pissed out this same water that you’re drinking. Or maybe John the Baptist dunked some poor fool in it. Or maybe Mohammad showered with it. Maybe you’re drinking Lincoln’s piss, there, huh? Who knows? You see, water doesn’t go anywhere. It just stays. Seventy-one percent of the world, they say. Keep your head above it. Good old water: just two hydrogen atoms covalently bonded to a single oxygen atom. It transmogrifies, sure. It goes to gas and freezes and melts and flows and sits in pools and lakes and oceans. Irrigation’s a trick we learned long ago: getting water to do our business for us with aqueducts and dams and gutters and basins and reservoirs. We can filter it, chlorinate it, muck it up with sewage and toxic chemicals. But it’s always the same water. It’s always just been here, and it ain’t going nowhere any time before any of us. So, well, enjoy, you lucky bastard. Bottoms up. Don’t take it for granted as you pray for rain and bathe and brush your teeth. Anyway, it’s getting late. Got to see about closing up. You go ahead and call me if you’ve got any more questions. Here’s my number (646) 851–0347.”

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