How do I perceive events

I have been reading a very captivating book for the past few days. In this, I came across this beautiful explanation of difference between mind, intellect and ego. Very similar to how Gurudev explains these complex facets of the same “organ” of the body so to speak. Mind is responsible for bringing in all the information and present them to the Buddhi (intellect) that makes a decision based on the past experiences (just to simplify this concept). It’s the ego that personalizes all the information and decisions and brings “me” into the picture. When we meditate and contemplate, one of the things Vivekji talked about was to practice “Sakshi bhav”, being the witness (Self) that is simply watching the mind and the intellect doing their job without bringing the Self in the picture…This is a very effective technique, I find. I watch these happenings as a mute spectator. A time comes when the “ego” is not participating, the mind and intellect just give up and thought flow subsides. It makes me think how events happen around us, this is not in our hands. How we perceive them and apply them into actions is in our hands. I know of a lady, a very close family member. Her husband was murdered for a very petty reason. She went through immense trauma and agony when all that happened. Now, 10 years later, she is one of the strongest woman I know, my role model. She has picked up life, has immersed herself in Sadhana and contemplation and charity. Every time I start complaining about my life, I think of her…a tragic event happened in her life, how she perceived it, and put it into meaningful action was in her hands. If she can do this….what right do I have to complain about my “First world problems”?