Vivaha of the Divine Couple

ViBha Class Notes | May 16, 2021

Pujya Guruji had once asked — What is the way to develop love for the Lord? He gave two ways to do so -

1. Listen — As a community, we have invested five years in listening to that which is most important, that is Brahma Vidya — insights into the Infinite. We have travelled lots through this listening. The word Bhagavata is based on -Ta — a boat, Va — the best, Ga — to go, Bha — Light, Awareness, Joy — We are riding the best boat to the Divine. Here is a shloka from Garuda Purana that Vivekji references a lot — Ayodhya Mathura Maya Kashi Kanchiyavantika Puri Dwaravati Chaiva Saptaite Mokshadayakah

Ayodhya, Mathura, Haridwara, Kashi, Kanchi, Avantika, Puri and Dwaraka — we have travelled to all these cities, starting from Ayodhya and now we are in Dwaraka. These are Moksha Dayakah. This travelling inwards is the route to Moksha.

2. Let go — We have been listening a lot to the Ramayana and the Bhagavata and the letting go part is the Vedanta. After five years of being part of the devotional classes, we have to ask ourselves — Are we letting go? How have we changed over this course of time?

When Bhagavan Krshna is sitting with the messenger sent by Devi Rukmini, He shares how we should live — If a Brahmana lives contented with whatever comes to him, attracted by his holiness and without any effort on his part, and sticks unswervingly to his svadharma, that conduct of his will bring welfare to the whole world. — Are we feeling like a Brahmana? Are we studying Brahman? Are we sharing the Infinite?

When Bhagavan Krshna hears what the messenger has to share on behalf of Devi Rukmini, one of the lines He shares with the messenger is — I am going to take Devi Rukmini like fire is taken from a stick. To take fire from a stick requires a lot of effort. He says, “I am going to go where Devi Rukmini is and in a surgical, military way, I am going to take that seeker, the one who is a mumukshu.”

Some more context — Bhagavan Krshna’s older brother Shri Balarama gets married first, to Devi Revathi. Bhagavan Krshna is feeling jealous that His brother got married and wants to get married too. As for Devi Rukmini, she has come to know Shri Krshna just by listening about Him and she comes to the conclusion that He is Bhuvanasundara, the One who is most beautiful in creation, the One who beautifies creation. And that is Bhagavan Krshna. She, just like other princesses, is facilitating a Svayamvara — svayam — one’s own effort or choice, varana — we choose the one who is best. She has chosen Bhagavan Krshna as she knows He is the best. In her message, she shares — Come and free me. Your shulka (dowry) will be You (as in if You will marry me, that is the dowry). What could be better than that!

Skanda 10:53:26 — Rishi Shuka is continuing to explain to Raja Parikshita the build up leading to Bhagavan Krshna’s and Devi Rukmini’s marriage. He is describing how Devi Rukmini is feeling — This dear girl is worried because the messenger has not come back. She is worrying about Govinda who is in her heart and in her head. With her eyes closed, she is not realizing that time is passing, and she is sobbing. Her eyes are wet, her cheeks are wet and her clothing is becoming wet too. She is dearly missing Bhagavan Krshna.

Leading up to this — Devi Rukmini is in a place called Kundina waiting for Bhagavan Krshna to come. Her brother, Rukmi wants her to get married to his friend, Shishupala. So Shishupala and other rulers, his friends, begin their Barat (bridegroom’s procession to the wedding) to Kundina. Shishupala’s friends are Salva, Jarasandha, Dantavakra, Vidurata, Paundraka and these are wicked people. In the meanwhile, Shri Balarama, who is in Dwaraka, finds out that these rulers are on their way to Kundina and he is also aware that Bhagavan Krshna is on His way there. So as the older brother who wants to protect the younger brother, he leaves Dwaraka to go to Kundina.

Devi Rukmini climbs up the highest tower in the kingdom and is looking out the window for the messenger, and all of a sudden the left side of her body — her thigh, her shoulder, her eye — starts to throb. She then sees the messenger, and the messenger has a huge smile on his face. So she does not have to exchange words with the messenger as she knows that the exchange has been successful. She doesn’t know what to offer to this messenger. Typically in Ramayana or Mahabharata, the messengers are given necklaces or a 1000 cows, etc. She knows that this is Rishi Valmiki so she just prostrates to him as she knows he does not need anything. If we do not have the Vedanta of Bhagavata, these details are missed. She knows that this is the same Rishi Valmiki who wanted Devi Sita to be reunited with Bhagavan Rama. So she prostrates to him. Then Bhagavan Krshna arrives!

We learned last week that Bhagavan Krshna made a 25 hour journey overnight and He was stationed outside the kingdom and all of the people came to see Him. They gathered to see Him in the outskirts. Those people who were holy or sattvik were all attracted to Him. Bhagavan Krshna was the most holy and sattvik, so they all gathered. Now the puja for the Swayamvara that was to happen the next day, is beginning. The puja and procession starts and Devi Rukmini is going to the Mandir. Her eyes are restless looking around for Bhagavan, similar to a child looking for candy.

Rishi Vyasa, in a beautiful way, describes her as walking and offering her beauty to Bhagavan Hari. This idea of going to the mandir and the procession is all fake. She is just offering her beauty to the One that it belongs to. And while this is happening, all of the rulers that had gathered, start fainting because she is so beautiful. The lovely meaning behind this — Her real beauty is for Bhagavan Hari, and her fake beauty known as Maya, makes the others faint. And then all of a sudden, she sees Bhagavan Achyuta! Achyuta is the One who never falls or faints. Everyone faints, not Bhagavan! Then Bhagavan grabs her (remember that They are one unit almost like me holding my own arm) and takes off. Shishupala and others, when they come out of their unconscious state, look like sculptures as they are in shock of what had just happened. Bhagavan had moved like lightning, like taking the fire out of the firestick. Now They are together!

Skanda 10:54:5 — This is Bhagavan Krshna speaking to Bhagavati Rukmini. He smiles at last and tells her — Do not have any fear in your eyes. All of the people who are coming to fight with Me, I will fight them off. So this is what happens. When these rulers who were frozen come out of their freeze, they start chasing Bhagavan Krshna, and He tells Devi Rukmini not to worry as He will fight them back. This is part of the leela as she thinks Bhagavan is there by Himself and doesn’t have that power. And He does fight them, and Balarama is there with the armies and they destroy Jarasandha’s army. Previously Jarasandha kept on defeating Bhagavan Krshna, and now Bhagavan Krshna is finally able to defeat him. Shishupala is very sad that Devi Rukmini is taken away, but the one who is most infuriated is Rukmi, the eldest brother of Devi Rukmini, who wanted her to marry Shishupala.

As Bhagavan Krshna was going there, Devi Rukmini had told Bhagavan not to kill Rukmi. So Bhagavan ties Rukmi up and then shaves half of his head and half of his face. The implication for someone who has a lot of pride, this kshatriya bhava, this is very insulting and is like death. Now when Rukmi is tied up and his head and face are half-shaved, Devi Rukmini is not happy. She is expressing to Bhagavan Krshna, her attachment to her brother. Shri Balarama, who is observing all of this, says, “It is a perversion of intelligence if you, like an utterly senseless person, think that one who is noted for his universal ill-will, should always meet with benevolence and kindness, just because that person happens to be your relative. It will finally recoil on the person you try to protect”. This is a deep teaching. Devi Rukmini is expressing her attachment to her brother, and Shri Balarama is saying — Our relative is not one who is associated to us by blood, but rather by Dharma. If we keep on protecting those who are adharmik, it is worse for them. It is a powerful message about how we should be with our relatives. It is interesting that this is inserted into the portion that is leading upto their marriage. This is a reminder of Shri Lakshmana’s rekha in Ramayana. When he as if gives advice to Devi Sita, Sri Lakshmana never looks past her ankles. This is one portion of Ramayana when he is speaking more than he is listening. And here too, who is Shri Balarama to speak to Devi Rukmini? But this is shown here for our own protection. As this upadesha continues, there is heavy Vedanta that comes next. Here is a summary:

1. There is no yoga or viyoga, that is no union or dis-union because there is No Other. We can only unite with the One who is not us. All is Bhagavan Krshna, so have faith in Him. This idea of attachment and detachment is an illusion.
2. Our nature is like the moon. The moon is always full, but with our limited perception, we see the waxing and waning. So our waning is when we feel we are the body, mind and intellect. My nature is as if weaker. When we follow Bhagavatam or Bhagavan Krshna, it is as if we are waxing. More of our nature is revealed.
3. Just like in a dream everything is the dreamer, the trees, the ground, the fruit, in the same way, all of creation is the Creator. When we are asleep due to ignorance, we feel the separation.

Reviewing how we got here — Devi Rukmini sends a messenger to Bhagavan Krshna. Bhagavan Krshna shares with the messenger that He is coming to Kundina. Shishupala and his friends are leaving on their Barat to go to Kundina. Shri Balarama is leaving with his army from Dwarka to Kundina. Devi Rukmini sees the messenger and is happy. Now everyone is going to the Mandir to pray to Bhagavati Parvati. Devi is looking after Devis. Devi Rukmini is most beautiful, so everyone there who has lust towards her, faints. And by doing so, she is able to see Bhagavan Achyuta clearly and He takes her, and rides away. Then Shishupala and his friends chase Bhagavan Krshna. Bhagavan Krshna and Shri Balarama defend and they capture Rukmi as he doesn’t give up. So they shave his head and face. Devi Rukmini is telling Bhagavan Krshna that what He is doing is wrong, so Shri Balarama gives this Upadesa and she feels more comforted. This Upadesa shows that even in the most divine family, there is politics.

Following the injunctions and guidelines of the Veda, Bhagavan Krshna and Bhagavati Rukmini get married! Shri Krshna Chandra Bhagavan ki Jai! Bhagavati Rukmini ki Jai!

Vedanta: Throughout the message that Devi Rukmini sent, she says that it is okay if we eloped. This is called a Rakshasa vivaha. The word vivaha means special upliftment. Vaha means to lift and vivaha means vishesha vahati or special upliftment which is what marriage is supposed to be. But what did Bhagavan Krshna do? Vaha as He only lifted her. It was not a vivaha. So that is the difference between a Vedic marriage and a Rakshasa marriage. Then He does change this from vaha to vivaha. So Bhagavan Krshna and Bhagavati Rukmini get married. What is most special about this is that Bhagavan Krshna became a Rakshasa for Bhagavati Rukmini. And He is also ready to do that for us if we are like Bhagavati Rukmini. She is a mumukshu, a seeker who is ready to go through tapa lifetime after lifetime to be with Bhagavan. Bhagavan became a Rakshasa for her, He will do the same for us. Whatever challenges we are going through with our own bodies, our families, our communities, Bhagavan will lift us and free us from it.

Rishi Shuka is sharing with Raja Parikshita that those who lived in Dwarka, were in wonder and they felt great joy seeing the marriage between Devi Rukmini and Bhagavan Krshna. They were delighted as this was the marriage between Bhagavan Narayana and Bhagavati Lakshmi.

We are now going to offer a wedding prayer to Bhagavan Krshna and Bhagavati Rukmini. This prayer is offered to friends, to people we can relate to. What Bhagavan Krshna wants from us — The seventh form of devotion is Dasya Bhava, or the feeling that we are the servant of Bhagavan. The eighth form of devotion is Sakhya Bhava or the feeling that we are the friend of Bhagavan. And finally is Bhagavan Bhava or the feeling that we are One with Bhagavan. So though these words are being offered to a friend or someone we can relate to, Bhagavan wants us to feel Bhagavan Bhava or feel One with Him.

Wedding prayer composed by Pujya Swami Tejomayananda:

viväha dinam idam bhavatu harshadam mangalam tathä väm ca ksemadam ||

prati dinam navam prema vardhatam shata gunam kulam sadä hi modatam ||

loka sevayä deva-püjanam gråhastha jivanam bhavatu mokshadam ||

May this wedding day bring to both of you happiness, auspiciousness, and well-being. Day by day, may you discover new love for each other. May it grow a hundred-fold and may your family ever rejoice. Through service to people as worship of God, may your household life lead you to liberation.

Who is this wedding for? This wedding is for us. Jayantis and Kalyanams are for seekers. Bhagavan Krshna and Bhagavati Rukmini were never NOT married. There is no union, there is no dis-union.