Beyond Bathrooms: Including all Genders through Language
Mac Buff, Manager of Family and Elementary Initiatives, Tacoma Art Museum in Tacoma, WA.
Picture this: I enter your museum excited, eager to hear from an artist I admire. I’ve been dreaming for years of meeting this artist, and looking forward to the lecture all week. I take my seat in the middle of the auditorium. (My favorite spot, halfway back and on the left-hand side.) You, the educator in charge of the lecture series, step up to the podium. “Welcome, ladies and gentlemen! We’re so glad to have you join us for today’s fantastic discussion.” I slouch down in my seat, glancing around, suddenly uncomfortable. I am neither male nor female, neither lady nor gentleman, and this room suddenly feels like a place that is not for me.
Picture this: A school field trip pours into the lobby, a mass of excited third graders and harried chaperones. A handful of students are assigned to one tour group. They are all short-haired and rowdy, wearing t-shirts with dinosaurs and soccer balls and spaceships. “Hi, boys!” the docent chirps. “How are you today?” One student, a girl, scowls and scoots to the edge of the group, shrinking under the others’ sudden attention.
What went wrong in these two situations? Museum educators strive to create a welcoming space for students and program participants. We design age-appropriate activities; we consider physical accessibility; we cultivate a warm presence. But all those efforts go out the window when we use language that sets participants apart. Educators’ language choices have a significant impact on transgender and gender-non-conforming (GNC) participants; simple language shifts serve to create a welcoming, safe space for learning.
The Importance of Gender Inclusion
A transgender person is someone whose inherent sense of their gender does not align with the gender assigned to them at birth based on external sex characteristics, such as genitalia. In contrast, a cisgender person’s inherent sense of gender aligns with the one assigned to them at birth. There are at least 1.5 million openly transgender people in the United States, spread all across the country (Alumit, 2017). While many transgender people identify with male or female gender, for others, their gender falls outside that traditional gender binary. These people may identify as non-binary, genderqueer, genderfluid, agender, or Two-Spirit. Some studies indicate non-binary people make up at least 25% of the transgender population (Webb et al., 2015), and up to 61% of transgender youth (James et al., 2016). However, not all non-binary people personally identify as transgender. Furthermore, some cisgender people present in a manner more consistent with the opposite gender, such as a woman wearing traditionally masculine work clothes or a drag queen who identifies as a man. These gender-non-conforming people, while not transgender themselves, are often caught up in the same stereotypes that negatively affect transgender folks.
Youth are more likely than adults to identify as transgender, making this an especially pressing issue for educators. A recent state-level study suggests that previous nationwide studies significantly underestimated the transgender population — there may be upwards of 2.2 million transgender youth, and in total 9 million transgender people, in the United States (Rider et al., 2018). Transgender people of all ages are victims of violence based on their gender identity. Late last year, a transgender student in Minnesota had her privacy violated by school officials while using the bathroom (“Trans Teen,” 2018). 2018 saw at least 28 transgender people, mostly transgender women of color, murdered in the United States because of their gender identity (TvT, 2018). More than half of respondents to the National Center for Transgender Equality’s 2015 Transgender Survey reported being verbally harassed, physically attacked, or sexually assaulted because of being transgender in the year prior to the survey. These numbers are even higher for transgender youth in schools. 31% of respondents to the study reported being mistreated in places of public accommodation — locations generally open to the public, including museums, government agencies, retail stores, and restaurants. 20% “did not use at least one type of public accommodation in the past year because they feared they would be mistreated as a transgender person” (James et al., 2016, 16).
Research suggests that transgender and gender-non-conforming (GNC) people are particularly vulnerable to feeling excluded or targeted, but we can create safe spaces for these folks when we consider their needs in our language. Transgender and GNC youth are at higher risk for bullying, and consequently at higher risk for negative health outcomes (Rider et al., 2018). However, transgender youth who are supported in their gender identity show very little change in health outcomes compared to their cisgender peers (Olson et al., 2016).
As a non-binary transgender individual, I know these realities firsthand. Even when I assume an institution’s best intentions, I am always on the lookout for indicators that my gender is affirmed — or erased. Are there bathrooms I can safely use? How is my group addressed as we approach the front desk? Do staff make assumptions about the pronouns I use? These indicators have a direct, significant impact on my feelings of safety at the institution and my likelihood to return.
The American Alliance of Museum’s 2016 TrendsWatch report identified welcoming transgender visitors as a potential area of growth for museums. The report focused predominantly on the use of all-gender or gender-neutral restrooms, but can be expanded to broader contexts. Museums are encouraged to “take a fresh look at . . . the overt and subtle signals they might send about the categories in which they place visitors, potentially signaling who is welcome and not welcome” (Merritt, 2016).
The National Center for Transgender Equality issues a similar call: “Governmental and private institutions through the United States should address these [hardships and barriers faced by transgender people] and ensure that transgender people are able to live fulfilling lives in an inclusive society. This includes . . . putting an end to discrimination in . . . areas of public life” (James et al., 2016, 7). As museum educators explore ways to welcome transgender visitors and participants, we must include an investigation of the language we use.
Gender-Inclusive Language Guide
Even as a trans person, I sometimes struggle to use gender-inclusive language. Our society is rooted in cisnormativity, the assumption that all people are cisgender. And our language reflects that. English has no widely-accepted gender-neutral singular pronoun. Most ways we refer to large groups of people, especially in formal situations, are gendered. Even our clothing is coded so people can “know” another person’s gender identity at a glance. This language is so embedded that without careful consideration, it is frighteningly easy to exclude transgender and GNC folks.
In 2014, Margaret Middleton published the Family-Inclusive Language Guide to help educators be more aware of the language they use for family groups. Middleton points out: “When you lead a conversation about inclusive language at your museum, you’re not becoming the language police. You’re analyzing the meanings (intentional and otherwise) of the language you choose to use and thinking critically about how your words reflect the mission of the museum” (Middleton, 2014).
I worked in collaboration with fellow educators at my museum to develop a broadly-applicable Gender-Inclusive Language Guide (see below). This guide took my own experiences as a trans person, combined with what I had learned about best practices in museum education, and expanded on Middleton’s excellent work. Like the original Family-Inclusive Language Guide, the Gender-Inclusive Language Guide was designed to help educators analyze the impact of their language use with students, visitors, and program participants.
Language shift is not easy! So many of the things we say are off-the-cuff, almost instinctual utterings. And yet language choice is so important. It signals safety (or lack of safety) to vulnerable people in your environment. The Gender-Inclusive Language Guide became a touchstone for a community of educators all striving to be more welcoming to all of their program participants.
Using the Guide
Let’s go back to the original examples. Consulting the guide, there are two options given as alternatives to “ladies and gentlemen” — “esteemed guests,” or some other greeting. So instead of welcoming the audience to an artist talk with “ladies and gentlemen,” the educator could have said, “Welcome, esteemed guests! We’re so glad to have you join us for today’s fantastic discussion.” With that phrasing, I would have been welcomed into the space and ready to fully engage with the program.
Similarly, the guide offers “students” as an alternative to “boys” or “girls.” The docent, greeting the group with “Hi, students! How are you today?”, would have avoided the awkward situation of mistakenly assuming the one girl’s gender and singling that student out.
A note about pronouns: The Gender-Inclusive Language Guide suggests “they” as a singular pronoun for a person of unknown gender. Though some people argue the singular “they” is grammatically incorrect, it has been in use in this form since the late 1300s, and used by such noted authors as William Shakespeare and Emily Dickinson (“Words We’re Watching”). It is commonly used in casual or even formal conversation — for example, “someone dropped their phone! Do you know whose it is?” Some style guides for formal writing still forbid the use of singular “they,” but that is not the particular purview of this language guide. Within the context of educational programming, it is far better to use a term that is on the edge of accepted grammar than to misgender a participant altogether. Further, many non-binary people (myself included) have adopted singular “they/them/theirs” as their own pronouns. For example, if someone were introducing me, that person would say, “This is Mac. They work at Tacoma Art Museum.” Other gender-neutral pronouns adopted by non-binary and genderqueer people include ze/hir/hirs and ze/zem/zirs, while some non-binary and genderqueer people prefer to avoid pronouns altogether.
Creating a Community of Practice
I have now implemented the Gender-Inclusive Language Guide at two museums. I am fortunate enough to live in a relatively progressive and inclusive city, so the initial process of acceptance was perhaps easier for me than it might have been elsewhere. And in my case, having the guide presented by an openly transgender educator may have helped emphasize the need for inclusive language.
Even with these factors paving the way, the guide still received pushback. At one institution, some educators disregarded my experiences as evidence of the need for inclusive language. And without direct support from upper management, the guide was presented as an optional tool. In another case, several docents felt they had already “done enough” to change their language around race and gender, based on previous exhibitions at the museum, and did not need further trainings on being inclusive. Nonetheless, I found unexpected allies in the room. In discussions about the guide, cisgender women contributed their discomfort with the phrase “you guys” and stories about how gender assumptions had hurt their careers or educational pathways. While the guide was originally designed to create a safe environment for transgender people, its reach extends to a wide variety of those who have felt discriminated against because of their gender or gender expression.
After implementation at each institution, the guide snowballed and took on a life of its own. Once most of the museum’s education department accepted the Gender-Inclusive Language Guide as a standard, educators began to hold each other accountable. “Hey, Clare,” Sondra would say after a program. “I noticed you said ‘you guys’ a lot to the students today.”
“Ugh, I caught myself a few times,” Clare would respond. “Thanks for pointing that out to me, I’m still working on it.”
Over time, the entire department began to change the language they used in everyday practice. Field trip programs started with “Good morning, students!” Announcers no longer said “Ladies and gentlemen, may I have your attention please,” but instead, “Hello and welcome to the museum.” These shifts, though subtle, made every educator more conscious of the gender assumptions they were making. The change in language helped all of us be aware of other ways we could work towards further inclusivity — advocating for all-gender restrooms, ensuring physically accessible spaces, and allowing students multiple ways to complete tasks.
Looking Ahead
Make no mistake: this process does not have an easy end. Even today, texting a friend about writing this article, I started my communication with “Dude . . .” before going back and replacing it with “Hey friend.” Gender-inclusive language alone is not the only issue that needs addressing. But because language literally dictates the way we think about the world, shifting our language means shifting our perspective — and that is a powerful thing indeed.
Picture this: You step into a museum and are greeted, not with assumptions about your identity based on your appearance, but with genuine welcome for you as a whole, unique human. Your experience is not limited to expectations based on your gender. Without gendered language, you are free to bring your gender into your experience — or not — in whatever way you choose. You are in control of your own identity.
Let’s create that picture together.
Mac Buff (pronouns they/them/theirs) is a transgender museum educator, currently the Manager of Family and Elementary Initiatives at Tacoma Art Museum in Tacoma, WA. They received an M.Ed. in Elementary Education from the University of California, San Diego. Mac has over a decade of experience in museum education, formal classrooms, and youth development in sites along the West Coast of the United States and abroad.
Glossary
Agender (adj.): describes a person who does not have a particular gender.
Assigned sex/gender at birth: the doctor-determined sex of a child as a boy or girl when a baby is born.
Cisgender (adj.): describes someone whose gender aligns with the sex assigned to them at birth; not transgender. This term was created to challenge the assumption that cisgender people (as opposed to transgender people) are always the standard in discussions about gender or sex. It is not a derogatory term or a slur.
Gender: An umbrella term often used as shorthand to refer to one of, or a mixture of, gender identity, gender roles, or gender expression. When used for gender roles or expression, it includes the range of socially constructed characteristics associated with and differentiating between the masculine and feminine. These constructs differ between societies and can change over time. Traditionally thought of in Western culture as a binary with male and female as opposing forces, gender is more accurately described as a spectrum.
Gender Identity: a person’s inner, innate sense of self as male, female, somewhere in between, or outside the gender spectrum. Everyone has a gender identity, not just transgender people. Since gender identity is internal, one’s gender identity is not necessarily visible to others. This inner sense of gender may be different than the gender assigned to a person at birth.
Gender non-conforming (GNC) (adj.): A broad term referring to people who do not behave in a way that conforms to the traditional expectations of their gender, or whose gender expression does not fit neatly into a category. Gender non-conforming people may or may not be transgender.
Genderqueer (adj.): describes a person whose gender exists outside the gender binary. Those who identify as genderqueer may identify as neither male nor female, may see themselves as outside of or in between the binary gender boxes, or may simply feel restricted by gender labels. Not all genderqueer people identify as transgender or non-binary.
Non-binary (adj.): describes a person whose gender does not conform to the traditional Western gender binary model. They may be both male and female, neither male nor female, or fall completely outside or somewhere between the gender binary. Examples of labels people may use to describe their non-binary gender include androgyne, polygender, genderfluid, demigirl, or demiboy. These are only a handful of labels that fall under the non-binary umbrella, and some people may use no label at all.
They (pronoun): used as a singular pronoun to refer to a person of unknown gender, or someone who uses it as their pronoun. As a pronoun referring to an unknown person, it has been in use since the late 1300s, used by writers including William Shakespeare and Emily Dickinson. As a pronoun for a non-binary person, it has been in use since at least the 1950s.
Transgender (adj.): describes a person whose gender does not align with the sex assigned at birth.
Two-Spirit (adj.): a modern umbrella term used by some Indigenous North Americans to describe gender-variant individuals in their communities. This includes people who may be described in Western culture as transgender, genderqueer, or cross-dressers. It is a spiritual role that is recognized and confirmed by the Two-Spirit person’s Indigenous community. While some have found the term a useful tool for intertribal organizing, not all Native cultures conceptualize gender this way, and many tribes use names in their own languages. The creation of the term is attributed to Albert McLeod, who proposed its use during the Third Annual Inter-tribal Native American, First Nations, Gay and Lesbian American Conference, held in Winnipeg in 1990. It is a translation of the Anishinaabemowin term niizh manidoowag, two spirits.
Gender-Inclusive Language Guide
References
Alumit, Noel. “New Estimates Show that 150,000 Youth Ages 13 to 17 Identify as Transgender in the US.” The Williams Institute, UCLA School of Law. https://williamsinstitute.law.ucla.edu/research/transgender-issues/new-estimates-show-that-150000-youth-ages-13-to-17-identify-as-transgender-in-the-us/ (accessed January 8, 2019).
James, Sandy E., Jody L. Herman, Susan Rankin, Mara Keisling, Lisa Mottet, and Ma’ayan Anafi. The Report of the 2015 U.S. Transgender Survey. Washington, D.C: National Center for Transgender Equality, 2016. https://transequality.org/sites/default/files/docs/usts/USTS-Full-Report-Dec17.pdf
Merritt, Elizabeth E. TrendsWatch 2016. Arlington, VA: Center for the Future of Museums, 2016. https://www.aam-us.org/wp-content/uploads/2018/04/2016_trendswatch_final_hyperlinked.pdf
Middleton, Margaret. “Including the 21st Century Family.” The Incluseum. https://incluseum.com/2014/07/07/including-the-21st-century-family/ (accessed January 8, 2019)
Olson, Kristina R., Lily Durwood, Madeleine DeMeules, and Katie A. McLaughlin. “Mental Health of Transgender Children Who Are Supported in Their Identities.” Pediatrics Volume 137, Issue 3 (March 2016). http://pediatrics.aappublications.org/content/137/3/e20153223
Rider, G. Nicole, Barbara J. McMorris, Amy L. Gower, Eli Coleman, and Marla E. Eisenberg. “Health and Care Utilization of Transgender and Gender Nonconforming Youth: A Population-Based Study.” Pediatrics Volume 141, Issue 3 (March 2018). http://pediatrics.aappublications.org/content/141/3/e20171683
Transrespect versus Transphobia. “TvT Trans Murder Monitoring Update: Trans Day of Remembrance 2018.” News release, November 12, 2018. Transgender Europe. https://transrespect.org/wp-content/uploads/2018/11/TvT_TMM_TDoR2018_PR_EN.pdf
“Trans Teen Posts Video of School Staff Opening Bathroom Stall on Her,” CBS Minnesota, November 29, 2018. https://minnesota.cbslocal.com/2018/11/29/transgender-teen-viral-video-bathroom-osseo-senior-high/
Webb, Arielle, Emmie Matsuno, Stephanie Budge, Mira Krishnan, and Kimberly Balsam. Non-Binary Gender Identities Fact Sheet. Washington, DC: American Psychological Association, 2015. https://www.apadivisions.org/division-44/resources/advocacy/non-binary-facts.pdf
