I’m Not Creative With Titles
I don’t know when exactly I first felt it, but I’ve always wanted, needed to be that person for whoever needed it. I’ve always wanted to listen, to be a friend, to help, to be there for someone. And I think that’s just who I was raised to be.
My parents divorced when I was 5 years old and within 2 years they both got remarried (this is oversimplifying this chapter of my life to say the least, but that’s the quickest way to put it). I attribute my character, my beliefs, and values, and everything that I am to that major event in my life. I felt I needed to be strong and show my parents that I was fine and be the something that was right for them in this time of trouble in our lives. I took on the role of being the good for my family. My Vincentian heart, why I care so much about other people and what they’re going through, was shaped by my family and what we went through. Everyone deserves to have someone be there for them; I believe that as humans who all struggle, we have a responsibility to each other to be that someone.
I’m also not too good at writing stories, so don’t read this as one story. It’s just several bits from my mind. Thanks, loves. xoxox
My grandfather died on Valentine’s Day of this year, so this trip, which started off as just a great opportunity to learn something new, travel, and meet new people, became a sort of renewal for myself. Winter quarter was one of the toughest quarters I’ve had. I stopped going to most classes. Couldn’t be bothered to do my homework. Couldn’t be bothered to get out of bed unless it was to let my dog out (shout out to jackjack Sparrow). This trip reminded me of who I am and who I am striving to be. I am a Vincentian and I live to serve those who can’t serve themselves. I am here to help others until they can help themselves.
Going to Paris was a great adventure that I will forever be thankful for, but the reflection that I was able to do while away is what I will take with me for the rest of my life. Often times people experience burnout when they’ve been working so long and so hard for a cause but see little to no results. St. Vincent, St. Louise, the Daughters of Charity, and the people who worked with them had much fewer resources and technologies available to them than we do today, yet they were capable of so much. They stayed true to their goals, were patient, endured, and worked hard no matter what, and that is truly inspiring. No matter what happens there is no excuse to stop doing or stop trying to change the world. We have so many tools available to us and so much potential to make a difference. There is always something to be done and who is going to do it if not you, me, or we?
Let’s pause for a moment of silence for my legs trekking up all those dang stairs to see a pretty view of the City of Lights.
I hate to see people in isolation. Humans are not meant to live individualistic lives; we need each other. I understand that some people like to be alone. Sometimes I need time to myself, but when I’m ready to socialize, I have my people there. When I see people who don’t have people, it breaks my heart. One time in high school I had to sit alone at lunch because the schedule got changed around and it was the loneliest thing I’ve ever done. Like I said, I can be alone, but in that moment I didn’t want to be and that is what made me sad. After that, I made it my mission to make sure no one was sitting alone unless they wanted to sit alone(could this have been a turning point???). I would gather the people who were sitting alone at lunch and we would all eat together. I would skip class during lunch periods to make sure that people weren’t sitting by themselves.
One of the people who I gathered was named Steven. Steven is Deaf. Even though he would sit with us, he didn’t like reading lips — as most deaf people don’t — so he was still kind of left out. We tried to get him to teach us some signs so we could communicate with him, but it was nothing like having a full conversation. When I started to apply to colleges, I only applied to universities with American Sign Language(ASL) programs because I wanted to learn the language and help break down a barrier. That was something small I could do to include people who aren’t often thought of in the world we live in.
While I haven’t come into many situations like the one from high school since I’ve started learning ASL, I have been able to sign with some people who would be otherwise left out. When I went to LA on my service immersion trip, we worked with Meals on Wheels and one of the houses we delivered to was home to a deaf man. The smile that appeared on his face when I delivered his food and conversed with him in sign was one I will never forget. He told me he had never had a delivery person that could sign with him and he was truly “joyful” (there’s not an English word that accurately translates what he told me he felt).
Whenever I serve or do volunteer work, I make sure to find out if there are any deaf or hard of hearing people that I could sign with. It’s something small, but it’s personable.
Paying Attention
Something I have taken away from this trip is how important it is to pay attention.
I like to look at things. Things are so pretty. Things can be so interesting. I like to sit in the car or on the train or on the bus and stare out the window at all the things. I like to observe people — not people watch (I feel that phrase has a negative connotation that is linked to judging the people he or she is watching). I like to notice things. There were so many things to notice in France. I really appreciated the observations we had to make and the careful eyes we had to have in order to understand some aspects of the different things in France. When we went to Amiens Cathedral, Father Udovic explained every aspect of the tympanum which depicted judgement day and the detail included in the sculpture was amazing. I enjoy looking at things because if you don’t look you may miss something. But I now see it’s even more important to pay attention to what you’re looking at because there’s probably an entire story behind it. This is to be applied literally and figuratively.
My Turning Point
I bet you thought this would be when I tell you about my turning point. Sorry to disappoint, but I told you I’m not good at writing stories.
Cherry blossoms are symbolic of renewal and how quick life can be. The life of a blossom is very short. The night before we traveled to these Roman ruins and then Foleville, I was thinking about cherry blossoms and what they mean. I don’t find it coincidental that the very next day we walked through this patch of trees.
This was no turning point, but I felt very emotional among these trees. God planted them there for me.
I don’t think I will be able to identify my turning point until much later in life. It may have happened already. It may have not. No matter, I think I’m too close to my own story to see any turning point. I’ll continue on with my life and in about 15 years or so I’ll come back and update this section with whatever moment I can decide as my distinct turning point. Or will there even be one distinct point? Will there be many??? Next time on Dragon Ball Z.
Personal Mission Statement
Living an authentic life focused on helping people and empowering others to be all they can be.
I’m majoring in community psychology. This is a relatively new division of psychology which is focused on individuals and how they relate to and are affected by their communities. Community psychology emphasizes finding the root of a problem and determining how to put an end to it rather than helping people after the problem has already hurt them. I feel community psychology asks the question “What must be done?”
A story often used to describe what community psychologists do:
Two women are walking along a river and they see a drowning person floating by. One of the women jumps in, grabs the drowning person, and pulls him safely from the water. Before catching her breath she sees that her friend has jumped in to save another drowning person. The flow of drowning people continues and increases and the two women continue pulling them out of the water, tiring as they near exhaustion. And drowning people keep passing by too, as they can only rescue a few of them because there are more drowning people and there’s only two of them. Suddenly one of the women stops the rescue effort and takes off running up the river. Her friend does not understand why she’s seemingly abandoning these drowning people. Little does she know the other woman went upstream to find out why all of these drowning people have been falling into the river.
Of course hands-on service is still necessary, as there’s always an immediate need for help like in shelters or with people who live on the street; however, there’s more to it than just putting a band-aid on the problems. These problems need more than a temporary fix and that is not accomplished by only volunteering to serve food in shelters. It’s done by making changes in the system.
I plan to do both. I plan to counsel people with mental illnesses while also working in different communities with high rates of mental illnesses to discover why there is such a high occurrence and what can be changed to lower that number.
This trip allowed me to get to know 19 other students who feel a calling on their life to make big change. I enjoyed getting to talk with each of them and learn about what they want to do and how they plan to carry out the Vincentian mission and I find it so interesting to listen to how they plan to incorporate St. Vincent’s ideas and values into their plans for their lives.
I look forward to seeing what they will accomplish.
I am thankful for everyone who went on the Vincentian Heritage Tour this year. I have learned something from all of you and I wish you well in your future. Good luck and do what must be done!
