My Leadership Journey
Moving out from my parent’s home after the pandemic lockdown was a relief, a big breath of air. I was happy to be independent, to be away from an enviroment that felt constraining and demanding of me. What I didn’t know was that moving out and being on my own would come with a lot of realizations about my family and myself. The first night I was on my own, I had cried, not because I was homesick, but because I had felt so much guilt being away from my family and fear of not being able to sustain myself or belong because I was on my own in a new enviroment, a college enviroment. Coming to DePaul has shown me the importance of reflection and self-care, to move towards healing, and the impact of community.
During the pandemic lockdown, I had been invited to be apart of the Tepeyac Latinx organization executive board, so I attended meetings virtually, but usually I couldn’t stay long because I had to tend to my famial responsibilities. When in-person actvities were starting to come up again, as an e-board bonding trip, Tepeyac had planned to go to the Catholic Campus Ministry (CCM) First and Second year retreat. Unfortunately, this retreat was the day after I moved in. I wasn’t sure if I should go because of the way I was feeling, but I didn’t want leave a bad impression so I pushed myself to go.
I went into the retreat with a blind eye. We arrived to our destination, 50+ miles away from school, a nature-filled, tranquil retreat center. The retreat offered Witness Talks from CCM student leaders, expressing their experiences at DePaul, the ups and downs, along with time for reflection and small group talks to express our feelings entering DePaul and reflect on what we want to get out of our college journey. We did an activity called what’s on your plate, writing my worries and what could be done, even if not solved. As I engaged with the retreat, I felt so comforted, I have never witnessed such a reflective space before. CMM introduced me to the benefits of taking the time to think about my life.
I was very thankful to have gone to the retreat, it made me feel at ease, I honestly don’t know what could have happened to me mentally if it weren’t for CMM or Tepeyac during that overwhelming moment I was having, especially since I was just entering college fresh, not having people to express myself and to rely on. Of course the rest of my sophomore school year wasn’t perfect, healing doesn’t just happen with a snap of my fingers (I wishhhh). I had moments of doubt that continued to follow me, leading me to be absent/to take a break from Tepeyac e-board during winter quarter; focus on settling into school and taking care of myself. I was in a bit of a crisis like when Vincent DePaul left the Gondis, feeling turmoil for leaving the Gondis, and having to face finding his vocation. That said, I couldn’t run away from my job (lol).
I was extremely nervous entering my job at the Idea Realization Lab 2 (IRL 2); even if I had a two week training and was authorized to use all machines, the space and my abilities to use them was still intimidating to me. One of my coworkers, Maddie, had been a Chicago Quarter Mentor, carrying vincentian values with her. She would check up on me, challenge me, and tell me I am more than capable of tackling anything in the lab. She showed me, our coworkers/friends, and patrons unconditional care. Coming from a household where love was delicate, I was confused as to why she would show such care towards me when I was just an awkward coworker who would avoid talking to anyone. (She was also Latina, and she was happy to see me work at the IRL 2 as well.) The IRL started to become a community where I felt appreciated and loved, something I’ve had a hard time wrapping my mind around. Through my job, I saw the importance of demonstrating hospitality to all, pushing me to do my best to be myself (even if I still get a lil nervy), and to make others feel welcomed and cared for in the space. As time went on I was getting comfortable in my position, and I started to take initiative in bringing in more groups and students into the lab, I took on the role of being an Event Coordinator for the lab, to make the free lab resources known to all students, no matter people’s majors or levels. When Maddie graduated, I made it a mission to encourage myself and staff to welcome people in and to check in on patrons. Feeling community became important and crucial for me to do the best in my college journey.
Entering winter quarter I started to keep an affirmation in mind: Don’t let fear get in your way. I may still have felt doubt and nervousness, but I was starting to feel a bit trusting and understanding that community takes time, and although it was hard to believe in myself, I continued to try to be open to others. I decided be more involved with CCM, participating in the Women’s group and attending their retreat, and pushing myself to go to Tepeyac’s Latinx Retreat. These retreats, especially the Latinx Retreat, really made an impact on me, they really helped with affirming that I am not alone in my college journey, helped me understand my Tepeyac team, made me feel like I belong here in college. After the retreat, I was confident to go back to Tepeyac’s eboard during the spring quarter, to reach out to those I met at the retreat, and to continue to take more initiative more at IRL 2. I was feeling a bit more confident in myself and my developing leadership, wanting to continue to spread the love where-ever I go.
Being a part of the Tepeyac eboard further introduced me to the vincentian values and Meet me at the Mission, easing into my professionalism, and discovering ways I can show human diginity and hospitality to my communities. I learned how to create and lead a reflective space, and how to be there for others. I used these new honed leadership skills towards my job at the IRL 2 into student outreach, collaborating with Tepeyac and other orgs to help them build community within the IRL actvities as well.
During my junior year I had grown in my leadership within Tepeyac, CCM, and the IRL 2. I volunteered to be a student leader and give a witness talk for the First Year Retreat 2023, talking about my experience in feeling belonging at DePaul, I was promoted from Lab Moderator to Lab Specialist at the lab, helping train and lead my coworkers/buddies, helping lead projects with Tepeyac, and becoming part of the Crook and Folly team, a DePaul art and creative writting magazine, where I contributed towards outreach and making their events more interactive with the IRL resources.
Friends have encouraged me to sign up for the Vincentian Heritage tour. Being in the class, it was very valuable to have different guests in the class and learn how Vincentian Values can be implemented in the careers and lives of people who are commited to the mission towards What must be done, and how the vincentian leaders many look up to have persevered through their leadership journeys. Having had gone to Paris, and through the people we have met living out the mission in their positions (such as DePaul France and Saint Jean Gabriel Catholic School), showing how much simple acts of love and care can make an impact. This reminder touched my heart and has helped me understand even more in what ways we can be there for one another. I thought of this quote from Vinny that matched this theme: “Love is inventive to infinity”. Love has no boundaries, we are all deserving of love and we all can give love.
It was also awesome to visit the school because I was amazed and excited to hear Vincentian values and pottery art together. With my understanding of these values, the leadership skills I have honed, and the strengh of love, I hope to become an art teacher that provides a welcoming, reflective, and community environment to students through art.
There is still work on myself that must be done, more to combat and learn, but now being open to reflection and working toward accepting love, I will continue to lead to my growth and healing towards becoming a better me for myself and others.
Thanks for reading :)
Evelyn
