My Mother’s Dream
The Dream
It wasn’t my plan to come to college. I grew up wanting to be a teacher, but I also had the dream of being a hair stylist or even a 911 operator. After high school I wanted to go to a beauty school, so that I could cut and do hair. However, I knew that wasn’t the dream my mom had for me. My mom is the kind of person who will support everything I do even if she doesn’t necessarily agree with it, but I decided early on that I would do everything in my power to live out the dreams that she had for me.
Before I continue, I should probably explain to you who my mom is. My mom, Blanca, migrated to the United States in her teen years along with her siblings and parents. Upon getting here she made sure to keep her grades up and learn English as best she could. After high school she enrolled in City College, but after a semester she left and married my dad. By the time she was 24 she had two children and was working to support us while my dad was deployed. Everything that she did was for us. I was once asked, “but wait didn’t your mom have dreams? Like didn’t she ever want to go finish college or travel or just do more?” That is a statement that I will always remember as it absolutely broke my heart to here those words. Today if I ask my mom what her dreams are she would tell me that all she wants is for me to do the things that she didn’t get to do, and that includes going to school, traveling, reading more, and enjoying as much of life as I can. This is important to understand as all of the decisions I have made in my life are to accomplish all the dreams that she has for me.
So, I made it to DePaul. Now what?
My first year at DePaul was pretty rough. I felt that I did not belong and a part of that feeling came from previously having little desire to come to college. The second part, was that I was hardly ever surrounded by Latinx folks and I began to think that maybe this space was not for me. My mom was constantly reminding me of how much I deserve to be here and she also told me to take advantage of every opportunity that came my way. From there I began to immerse myself with The Office of Mission and Ministry, even though I always know it as UMIN. Through there I was able to find a community of people who were intentional about making all folks feel welcome.
I started working in that office towards the end of my Freshman year and I have been there ever sense. I have worked as an assistant to Pastor Diane, a desk receptionist, and I was on the Vincentian Service Day Team. Aside from providing me a place of employment, UMIN also provided me with a space of reflection through service immersions, DCSA, Senior VIA, and eventually the Vincentian Heritage Tour.
VHT Itself
I was very excited when I found that I was accepted to be on the 2019 VHT Cohort. As we came closer to the date of departure it suddenly dawned on me that I would be in Paris. As I came to this realization, I began to feel that I didn’t belong nor deserve to go on this trip. As mentioned everything that I have done has been to live out my mothers dreams, one of them being able to travel as much as I can. I began to wonder why is that I could come to Paris, when my mom has worked so much harder than me and she doesn’t even get to go back home Mexico. I also began to question my sense of belonging in European country, and why it was that I haven’t been to Mexico in other ten years.
I went into the trip with unsettling feeling. I was reminded by the community that I do belong here and that I do deserve to be on this trip. Throughout the trip I made sure to take pictures of all the things my mom would have loved to see and I sent them all to her. I just realized that I never took a picture of myself while I was on the trip.
Every inch of Paris made me think of my mom
The moment that it hit me was when we to go see the Daughters of Charity. Prior to meeting with Daughters, we all sat in the church and had a moment of solitude. While I was there I began to think how little talking I had done throughout the trip. I know absolutely no French, so it was frustrating trying to communicate. I realized that this was only a discomfort that I have to face for one week, while this is something that my mom has had to face her whole life. The Daughters of Charity later shared their stories and I could not stop crying. Many of them shared a similar theme, which was how hard it was for them to get at this point of their life. They spoke of how they felt discomfort being away from home and how they really relied on their community. They each work to see the humanity in the folks that they meet and along with that comes welcoming them with open arms.
Another organization that works towards welcoming all folks is DePaul France. This organization works with the homeless population of France and they are very intentional about showing human dignity. They host daily breakfasts and on the tables they place a table cloth and a plant on the middle. They even make sure to wipe down the showers after each person showers, so that everyone is given a freshly cleaned shower.
Moving Forward
I had the opportunity to see the Vincentian Mission being lived out in modern times. For Vincent and Louise it was really important to walk in solidarity with the folks that they worked with. Along with that they knew that they had to see the human dignity in each person that they encountered. Moving forward, I want to more intentional when it comes to the folks that I encounter in my everyday life. This means being present with them as they speak and finding ways to make all people feel welcome.
I have been reflecting a lot on what it means to find a home in a space that one might not feel welcomed. For the Daughters of Charity, their home was in found in their cohort. For my mom, her home was found in her children. For me, well my home was found in the Office of Mission and Ministry.
