KondoMari Your Love Life: How to Spark Joy in Dating
This post first appears in Lunch Actually’s blog
Sometimes it can be hard to find joy in dating. After all, you keep going out on dates, meeting and getting to know people, spending all that time and energy on swiping on dating apps, but then nothing works out. Worse, you go on some really bad dates!
(Main photo credit: Netflix)
Dating can get you down in the dumps, but it doesn’t have to — read on to find out 6 ways to spark joy in your dating life, and declutter the negative parts to find the positive, Marie Kondo-style.
1. THINK OF WHAT YOU NEED, NOT WHAT YOU WANT, AND PRACTICE IT
We all have a list of preferences when it comes to dating. Maybe you want him to be tall, or for her to be pretty. There’s nothing wrong with preferences, but they can really clutter your dating process when you go out on a date and you keep finding faults with your date because they don’t live up to your list.
Instead, why not keep a simple list of 3 needs and 3 deal-breakers, and stick to those? You’ll find that instead of superficial requirements, what’s really important would be people of good character, who share your values, and also have similar life goals to you.
Having a short list of just 6 vital requirements can help you keep an open mind in dating, and give you better possibilities in your love life.
2. THANK YOUR EXES IN YOUR HEART, THEN LET THEM GO
Sometimes we are held back in our love lives because our exes — or people we used to be romantically attracted to — are still weighing down your heart. For example, do you find yourself meeting someone new, only to consciously or unconsciously compare them to someone in your past?
Obviously, this isn’t fair to the new person you met — they can never live up to an ideal. Your exes are exes for a reason — they should exist in the past. The next time you find yourself unconsciously thinking of an ex, stop yourself, thank your ex for the lessons they gave you in life, and then let them go. They have no space in your new love life.
3. CLEAN UP PAST REMNANTS FROM YOUR LOVE LIFE
Apart from mentally clearing out your exes from your dating life, you should also take a moment to take stock of what’s physically in your life that reminds you of your past dating life. Are you still friends with your exes in your social media, and find yourself typing in their names to see what they’re up to from time to time? This is unhealthy behavior, and it would be best for all parties for you to cut the connection.
Whether it’s photographs, gifts, mementos, or anything linking you to the past, they will hold you back from having the best love life you can possibly have. As Marie Kondo says, letting go of sentimental items can be hard. However, it will definitely be wise to remove them, in order for you to make more memories with the person you truly should be with.
4. FIGURE OUT WHAT HAS SPARKED JOY FROM EACH DATE YOU GO ON
Dating is a numbers game, and to find love, it’s important to go on dates. It can be easy to get discouraged if you feel like you’re on too many bad dates, but instead of focusing on the bad points, try finding the positives from your dates instead i.e. you met someone who could be a good friend, you had a great conversation, or even, you found a great place to dine at. Focusing on the joys will help you keep a positive mindset towards dating, which is important to really find The One — nobody is attracted to pessimism.
5. DON’T CLING ON TO HARMFUL BELIEFS ABOUT LOVE AND DATING
After a few years of dating, we all internalize lessons from our experiences in love. Unfortunately, some of these beliefs can be damaging to your love life i.e. “I don’t want to date a divorcee, because they’ll have too much emotional baggage”, “if he’s a sweet-talker, he must be a playboy”, “she keeps posting on social media like my ex, must be an airhead too”, and so on and so forth.
If you don’t give a chance to new people you meet, and already write them off based on what little you know of them, this can harm your chances of finding love. Throw out your preconceived notions which are superficial or are only specific to one person in your past, and keep an open mind!
6. GET A LOVE EXPERT TO HELP YOU!
“That’s all good and all, but I can’t keep going on dates that go nowhere!”
It is understandable that other aspects of life can seriously cut into the time you take for dating, no matter how much you declutter and open up your heart to love. In that case, why not consider having a love expert to help you find joy in your dating life?
DATING COMPANY LUNCH ACTUALLY TO LOVE IS LIKE MARIE KONDO TO TIDYING. BOTH EXPERTS IN THEIR FIELDS, THE PROFESSIONAL AND FRIENDLY LUNCH ACTUALLY DATING CONSULTANTS ARE DISCREET AND ALWAYS STRIVE TO FIND YOUR BEST MATCH. DATES ARRANGED BY LUNCH ACTUALLY ARE DESIGNED TO HELP YOU MEET PEOPLE WHO HAVE THE BEST POSSIBILITY OF SPARKING THE ULTIMATE JOY IN YOUR LIFE.
Interested to spark joy in your love life? Click here to find out more, and our friendly consultants will get in touch soon!