Let’s Talk About Dating: Online Dating 101

Let’s face it, it’s hard to find a good, genuine date on dating apps. Maybe you don’t get matches. Maybe you get matches, but they are just time-wasters. Maybe you never get past the first hello, or you never meet up in real life.

It’s like you decided to chip away at a mountain with a shovel, but there are skills you can pick up to blast through that mountain to find the right one.

We asked the experts at dating company Lunch Actually for their thoughts on how to ace dating apps — here are 7 dating app-related skills you should pick up immediately to make the dating app journey less painful:

1 — Upload 4–5 decent photos of yourself

You don’t have to be a professional photographer, but do make sure that your online dating profile shows your face clearly! A clear frontal picture of your face, a full-body picture, a picture of you doing something you love, and a photo of you with an animal can do wonders for your match rate. Remember, your photos are the first impression you give a potential match online, so make sure your first impression shines!

Dating Coach Suki Chin

2 — Stop yourself from uploading these types of photos

Decent photos are a must, but please avoid other type of pictures like: gym selfies (so outdated at this point), your political stance (unless you want to get into an argument with someone who doesn’t agree with you), pictures that don’t show you (the point of uploading pictures to dating apps is to see you!), and so on.

Don’t hide behind sunglasses or hats, and group photos are definitely a no-no. Just stick to the basics of showing your physical appearance via your photos, and let your match find out about your hobbies and beliefs during the date.

Dating Consultant Paige Chan

3 — Add details about yourself to your profile

A decent, brief description of yourself on your profile can help boost your match rate. Talk about your hobbies, what you’re looking for on the app, and humanise yourself in a way beyond what your profile picture can show. Some humour helps too.

For example, you can write:

“I love nature, surfing, cafe-hopping, and Disney movies. I particularly subscribe to the philosophy of ‘Hakuna Matata’. What’s your favourite Disney movie, and why?”

A question in your description can help break the ice too, avoiding the usual awkward “hello” exchange.

Dating Consultant Miko Chea

4 — Leave a little mystery in your bio

When writing your bio, make sure to be a little mysterious. For example, you can say you like reading, but there’s no need to go on and on about why you think Harry Potter is the best work ever written (even if you sincerely believe it’s true). Just talk about the basics (as above), and give your match the chance to ask questions about you based on your bio.

Dating Consultant Elaine Lai

5 — Ask light-hearted questions instead of just saying hello

When you get a match, don’t start with “hello” or “how are you” — the conversation can die off quickly after that!

Instead, make commentary on your match’s profile, and ask questions that he/ she can answer, like what type of movies they like. You can then even smoothly ask them out to check out a movie sometime soon. If they don’t have a description, try simple questions like:

“Hello, if you have to describe yourself in three words, which three words will you use and why?”

Do encourage your match to ask you questions as well, and remember to ask them out with a simple: “Would you like to meet me on a date this weekend?”

Dating Consultant Cassandra Fong

6 — Be open-minded about meeting people

Many singles who found love on dating apps agreed to meet up EVEN with people they did not think were their type at first — and ended up dating them later on.

I had a client who refused to meet a match I found for her due to him not meeting certain criteria, but after some convincing she reluctantly agreed to meet him. Much to her surprise, they got on well — and they then got into a relationship shortly after. Be open to meeting many types of people, and start approving more matches — you never know who may be the right one!

Dating Consultant Jessie Gan

7 — Try to meet in person as soon as possible

Don’t keep chatting online with people — they may be just on the app to kill boredom, or worse, scam you. Try to arrange a meetup as soon as possible (within two weeks will be best), and if they keep on delaying or don’t want to meet up, just write them off early before you waste even more time.

A right person is out there waiting for you, and you won’t find him/ her if you keep wasting your time chatting in-app with people who have no intention of meeting up.

Dating Consultant Marissa Nao