Accept
Coming to terms with the changes that have happened.
Friday-Saturday. May 30-June 5, 2020.
The past week, I finally feel like I’ve settled into this new life. No more crying, anxiety, frustration, or anguish. I learned to stop hoping and to give up faith. There’s no point in worrying anymore or hoping that things will turn out better because it’s all unknowable. Even though I’m forced to stay home, I’m still able to stay in touch with people and live relatively normally. I’ve learned to count my blessings because some people have jobless parents and can barely eat. Some have to take care of siblings and do work at the same time. The pandemic was supposed to be the great equalizer cause anybody can die from it, but the reality of it is that it only exacerbated existing inequality. By focusing on what I can control in my life, it’s given be stability and comfort that I was missing for a long time after March 13.
I’ve learned to accept the unknowable and the uncertainties that come with living in a time of crisis. I’d never imagine that March 13 would be the last time I’d see many of my classmates for a while. I don’t even know if school will be open in September when we start again. And I accept that these things may happen. I also accept that they may not happen. So many things can change between now and then, so I’ve learned to stop thinking too far ahead, and just focus on each day, one at a time.
I’d never imagine, that I wouldn’t be attending my brother’s promotion and my cousin’s graduation. Something that seemed so certain, was now gone. Down the drain. And it serves as a reminder to never take anything for granted, no matter how seemingly simple it is. My mother told me something that really encouraged me. She told me that if I could survive this and get through this, I could get through anything. And I think she was right. Nothing is guaranteed in life. And that’s one of the biggest lessons that I’ve learned so far.
To have such a disruptive event take over not only your life and your family, but the entire world, is something that people rarely live through today thanks to modern advances. Even we haven’t been able to contain this new disease, there are talks of producing a vaccine by the end of the year 2020, which would be record breaking if it happened. Unlike the Spanish Flu of 1918–1920, we aren’t completely in the dark about what we are dealing with. And that’s something else that we can add to our list of blessings.
