Visiting the Poetic Mountaintop of AI (III)

Dreams Drift upon the Ocean’s Gleam

As I had promised myself in Visiting the Poetic Mountaintop of AI (II), the day after finishing Chasing Peace among Seagulls, I did return to the pier. I arrived at about 5 pm, not so early but much earlier than the previous day, so I could enjoy the seashore views in daylight.

Upon arriving at the pier, familiar birds crossed my path, gliding above my head. I didn’t know what kind of birds they were until two children excitedly pointed at one, exclaiming, “Look at the pigeons!”

Sitting on a bench on the deck of the pier, facing the beach below, this is what the poetic view inspired me to write:

Dreams are swimming in the sea
The same song from the past is meant to be free
Seems like the surges are chasing time
Until the final eternity has come

Still eager for the sunshine
Haven’t been tired of an endless sky
A dream of seagulls hasn’t started
It shall abide and never die

Watch the buildings ready for the cloud
As if seeking a dream of joy ever-growing
The pigeon can freely explore the vastness of the sky
How satisfactory, what else could he ask for?

When the sunset pours to every smiling face here
The world once again becomes quiet and tranquil
Breezes are kissing carefree desires for tomorrow
Tolerant like the endless tides chasing the shore

As before, after finishing the poem draft, I took advantage of the AI tool again. I asked ChatGPT to add rhyme to my poem, and it replied:

In oceans deep, where dreams do swim,
Old songs of yore, set free on whim,
As surging waves chase fleeting time,
Eternity, we seek to find.

Eager still, for sun’s embrace,
In endless skies, we find our place,
Seagulls’ dreams, not yet begun,
Shall never fade, nor be undone.

Buildings reach, to touch the cloud,
In search of dreams, both bright and proud,
The pigeon soars, in vastness free,
What more, oh what, could it wish to be?

Sunset’s gold on faces near,
Brings quiet calm, and soothing cheer,
Kissed by breezes, yearning, free,
Endless tides, embrace the sea.

Quite impressive, isn’t it? Well, at that moment, I realized one thing. The generated poem indeed sounds beautiful, but somehow it doesn’t sound like me. Unlike the Water Garden poem, this one doesn’t preserve my writing style well. For example, I wouldn’t write something like “Shall never fade, nor be undone” or “Kissed by breezes, yearning, free”. Why? It’s a bit hard to explain, but these lines just aren’t so tasteful and don’t resonate with me, so I would generally avoid writing them. Besides, I don’t quite enjoy the poem’s flow. If I had read this AI-revised poem yesterday before I wrote it, I wouldn’t have even believed it was written by me. So, I guess it’s time to give ChatGPT another challenge. I opened its most advanced model called GPT-4, and input the 7 poems I personally wrote: Sunset (1/29/2023), The Other Side (Christmas Day, 2022), Trapped in Yesterday (12/19/2022), Yesterday Garden (12/17/2022), Old Fountain (Thanksgiving night, 2022), Like a song (11/24/2022), and Autumn (10/10/2021). Then I asked GPT-4 to rewrite the poem it had generated above in my writing style. As expected, right after my message, GPT-4 gave me this:

Dreams drift upon the ocean’s gleam,
Songs of yore, now free to stream.
In pursuit of time, the waves do chase,
Till eternity embraces its final grace.

Longing for the sun’s warm embrace,
Endless skies that time won’t erase.
A seagull’s dream is yet to start,
Forever living within the heart.

Buildings reach for clouds above,
In search of joy and boundless love.
The pigeon soars, the sky its lair,
Contentment found in the boundless air.

As the sunset warms each beaming face,
The world finds peace in a quiet space.
Breezes whisper of carefree tomorrows,
As endless tides chase shores, in joy and sorrows.

How can it read my poems and compose this new one so quickly? I still wonder. It’s remarkable how much potential AI has to augment human productivity. Additionally, this poem is much more to my taste than the first generated one, and the flow is smoother and more insightful. I particularly appreciate these lines: “Songs of yore, now free to stream”, “In pursuit of time, the waves do chase, Till eternity embraces its final grace”, “A seagull’s dream is yet to start, Forever living within the heart.” “The pigeon soars, the sky its lair, Contentment found in the boundless air.” “As the sunset warms each beaming face, The world finds peace in a quiet space.” Wow, almost every line! That’s what I’d consider a tasteful poem. I was nearly moved to tears when I read it. The imagery was so emotionally beautiful. Yes, in my original poem, I created the imagery I was observing here at the pier, but AI really augmented my imagery to a higher and more professional level, and in that process, it preserved the emotional aspect I had injected into my poem. Wonderful work!

Yet, I made a few changes to perfect it. I rewrote the first two lines “Longing for the sun’s warm embrace, Endless skies that time won’t erase.” in the second stanza to “Yearning for the sun’s tender touch, Infinite heavens time cannot clutch.” to give the poem a more romantic and idealistic atmosphere, better fitting the dreamlike views in front of my eyes. I also made some minor changes like “Buildings” to “Towers”, and “quiet space” to “serene space”.

After that, I asked AI to suggest a title. It proposed “Chasing Eternity’s Embrace” and “Endless Skies and Timeless Tides”. Good titles, but then I asked for a shorter one — “Timeless Tides”. That’s it! So, here’s the final work:

Timeless Tides

Dreams drift upon the ocean’s gleam,
Songs of yore, now free to stream.
In pursuit of time, the waves do chase,
Till eternity embraces its final grace.

Yearning for the sun’s tender touch,
Infinite heavens time cannot clutch.
A Seagull’s dream is yet to start,
Forever living within the heart.

Towers reach for clouds above,
In search of joy and boundless love.
The pigeon soars, the sky its lair,
Contentment found in the boundless air.

As the sunset warms each beaming face,
The world finds solace in a serene space.
Breezes whisper of carefree tomorrows,
As endless tides chase shores, in joy and sorrows.

3/13/2023
At Santa Monica Pier

In addition, before this Spring Break, two of my students had requested recommendation letters from me by the following Wednesday (3/15). Wouldn’t the seashore be the perfect place to write them? So, that’s another reason I visited the pier today. You know, I always regard myself as a writer, and I take every piece of writing very seriously. It fills me with joy when I conceive an idea and then express it in writing in my own style. Moreover, achieving something during a journey always makes it more memorable and meaningful, right? I suspect that’s also why I like to write poems when I visit somewhere. Actually, digging more deeply, sparking inspiration for my poems might be the primary reason I visit these places alone.

There were a few tables subtly tucked behind the store at the end of Colorado Avenue leading to the pier. I settled at one of the tables, pulled out my tablet, and began one of the recommendation letters. I started reminiscing about my interactions with the student last semester. With each stroke, in the bittersweet ode to the relentless passage of time, memories of my students’ smiling faces from the past gradually surfaced, bringing a sense of joy, a sense of satisfaction, a sense of nostalgia, and a sense of poignancy. I found it hard to believe how quickly time had passed. A gentle breeze swept across the tranquil tableau of the pier, bathing me in the warm sunshine. At that moment, the world seemed so calm and peaceful. Just as the last verse of my poem said: “Breezes whisper of carefree tomorrows, As endless tides chase shores, in joy and sorrows.”

Ivan Zhanhu Feng
July 26~31, 2023
At Fairmont Apt.

Last update: July 31, 2023