Approach Everything Differently With A Beginner’s Mind
Open Your Mind to New Possibilities — Starting Today
I could still remember that first day.
My first job, many years ago. I was 23. And it was at a high-tech company.
Excited, nervous, anxious, and everything — you name it!
There I was. I knew about nothing.
I didn’t even know where I was supposed to go nor what I was supposed to do.
I could still remember that clumsy, uncertain, and embarrassing feeling of not knowing what and how I am doing in a new job.
It took a good few weeks to learn to be good at my job — well, it was like a sink-or-swim kind of experience before I could confidently present to our customers.
At the same time, what I remembered most about this experience is that it felt nice to be new at something. Ever so ready to learn. To have no expectations of myself about getting things right or assumptions from others that I’d know anything. There was no need to be an expert.
The reality is, more often than not, at work we operate under the assumption that knowledge and experience are our assets. Every day, we spend so much time and energy just to prove to others that we know more than they do, that we as experts have the solution to a problem.
The late Shunryu Suzuki wrote about the concept of Shoshin in his book, Zen Mind, Beginner’s Mind [1]:
“In the beginner’s mind, there are many possibilities, but in the expert’s mind there are few.”
As the author of Atomic Habits, James Clear writes, “Most people don’t want new information, they only accept validating information that is in line with theirs [2].” Notice as we become more knowledgeable and well-versed in a given area of expertise, we unwittingly narrow our focus, cherry-pick information that is aligned to ours, and become less open to new ideas and perspectives. We simply pay less attention to information on topics we know, thinking “I already know about this”.
There is a danger that comes with expertise.
And that is our ego.
The ego likes to protect itself by knowing things and being right.
But being right is rarely the real goal.
When we are deemed as the ‘expert’, it is hard for us to express vulnerability and to listen to someone else’s point of view.
It’s Okay Not To Know Everything
Since young, most of us are taught to believe that success is all about knowing the answers, checking all boxes, and moving on to the next and more difficult topic. Success means getting good grades in exams, getting ourselves into top schools and universities. We have been exposed to this conventional way of thinking throughout our entire childhood — it is no wonder many of us find ourselves in adult life terrified of admitting us not knowing.
At work, we often avoid asking questions or putting ourselves in a position that makes us feel vulnerable. Those who ask a lot of questions or dare to say they didn’t understand are deemed less ‘able’ than others.
I realized that if we avoid showing our vulnerability to avoid fear or shame, we miss out on genuine opportunities to truly understand what we don’t know and create more authentic connections with our team members and people around us.
When we make ourselves vulnerable, people tend to relate and connect to us more. Having done so simply makes people feel comfortable doing the same too — express vulnerability whenever needed.
It is okay not to know everything.
It is not about knowing everything, but knowing the right way to learn.
The goal of practice is always to keep our beginner’s mind.
Learn from A Child’s Wonder
I used to live with my niece and nephew after I graduated from university.
They are twins. Adorable but nosy duo.
I could still remember those days they used to shake me with a never-ending onslaught of whys.
“Why is the sky blue?”,
“Why can’t we play outside?”,
“Why do I have to go to school?”
Most of the time, I’d be so tempted to answer with: “It just is!”.
Having explained for the sixth time why I dip my chicken nuggets with ketchup instead of chili sauce was exhausting.
Instead of blowing my top off, I just laughed. They laughed too.
The duo doesn’t expect to know anything. They don’t have to.
Think about it, these are all questions that offer the opportunity for expansion and exploration.
The kids are simply trying to piece together information and make sense of the world.
They have no idea how things work. They are wide-eyed with wonder and captivated by everything. They ask simple questions that are obvious, and profound questions that you’ve never considered.
And it simply makes me wonder, can we adults be like a small child — a blank canvas, to be curious and be surrounded by the opportunity to see old problems in new ways, to find wonder in things you’d never really noticed before.
Clear out what we think we know so that there’s space for new things to be possible.
Children are imbued with curiosity and great potential, and these are things we begin to lose and dim out as we enter into adulthood, especially if we already feel we ‘know’ enough.
In her book titled The Sense of Wonder, Rachel Carson captures the adventures with her young nephew, Roger, and she said,
“A child’s world is fresh and new and beautiful, full of wonder and excitement. It is our misfortune that for most of us that clear-eyed vision, that true instinct for what is beautiful and awe-inspiring, is dimmed and even lost before we reach adulthood.”
Approach Life with A Beginner’s Mind
Tell Me More About It
In most conversations, the person who speaks least benefits most, and the person who speaks most benefits least.
Larry King said it best,
“Nothing I say this day will teach me anything. So if I am going to learn, I must do it by listening.”
Remember my little nephew and niece, how they ask questions of whys.
Whenever you are engaged in a conversation or discussion, use these.
“Tell me more about that”,
“Why?”,
“How does that work?”,
“Can you say more about that?”
We should learn to see things from a newer perspective.
In an organization, teams thrive when we regularly enter into conversations with a childlike curiosity based on the assumption of not knowing everything.
Refrain ourselves from interrupting others when the other person is talking.
Don’t assume. Listen instead.
Don’t get me wrong, interruptions aren’t all bad.
Some of them can be pretty valuable contributions to the conversation.
We don’t have to immediately blurt our thoughts out and charge forward to put our ideas out on the table.
The thing is, all of us, no matter how old, smart, educated, or cultured– have it all figured out.
There is always something new we could learn from someone else.
Others Do Not Need To Lose For Me To Win
Notice how often in conversations or discussions, we seldom sit patiently and listen to what the other person is saying. We are busy forming sentences in our heads as they speak, ever so eager to tell them what our point of view is.
Or when someone makes a statement that we disagree with, we can’t wait to jump in to correct them.
“I beg to differ with what you just said.”
“Hold up, actually here’s what I think..”
Or worse, “No, I don’t think so.”
We can’t stand to be wrong, can we?
A feeling of wounded pride began to well up inside us.
Well, the truth is the other person doesn’t need to lose for us to win.
If we were to put on a beginner’s mind, we let go of the need to prove a point.
We simply listen and approach things more openly with curiosity.
“Isn’t that interesting?”
“Oh, I didn’t know that was possible.”
“Hey, she looks at this in a different way.”
“Maybe it works too.”
Even if you are right and they are wrong, it doesn’t matter.
We can ask simple questions like a beginner, wondering about what and how they see.
A beginner’s mind creates a free-fall ground for us to listen and learn from others more openly. After all, what we think we know may not be the full story anyway.
We can walk away satisfied even if we don’t have the last word in every conversation.
Detach from our ego’s desire to be seen as an expert all the time.
And the best part is...
A beginner’s mind is always accessible.
Every moment is an opportunity to begin again — as long as we are willing to.
Pause. Slow it down. Be open when approaching conversation and discussion.
All of us move from beginner to expert at some point in our lives, along this unspoken trajectory of learning.
Children learn and grow into adults. Newbies become experts.
Somewhere along the road to becoming an expert, it is really easy to forget that it is good to be a beginner.
See things with a fresh pair of eyes.
You just might learn something new!
Good luck, lads!
References
[1] Suzuki, S. Zen Mind, Beginner’s Mind. Boston: Shambhala. 1970.
[2] Clear, J. Atomic Habits: An easy & proven way to build good habits & break bad ones. New York. 2018.
