The 457 Emotional Stages of a Kickstarter Campaign
Day 1.
Here we go. It has already been a crazy amount of work just to get here, but I am excited, jazzed, ready to take on the world!
Maybe we’re not ready. Are we ready?
Screw it. We’re live!!!! I am so crazy excited.
20 seconds later.
Uhm. Why is no one pledging? What is happening? WHY DID WE EVEN DO THIS, THIS IS SO STUPID.
Another 5 seconds later.
Ooooooh! People are sharing the link. Omg I love my friends, they’re the best. This is totally going to work! Yes all my dreams are coming true.
Day 2.
Holy shit. I have just the best network around me. Everyone is so amazing and supportive, and our project is just amazing. We’re far outpacing our daily target, and we are clearly going to crush our goal.
Phew, I don’t know what I was worried about, silly me.
Day 3.
Huh. I wonder why X hasn’t pledged yet. Interesting. They must be waiting.
They liked the post on Facebook and Twitter though. They must know the campaign is live.
Maybe they don’t know how Kickstarter works. Yeah, that must be it. I’ll just reach out and gently nudge them along.
Day 4.
Well. I am not sure X should really be part of my wedding party anymore.
How great of a friend is she really?
Sure, we’ve shared countless life experiences, been there for each other through thick and thin since childhood. Laughed, loved, and grown, but still… can I really trust someone who hasn’t supported my Kickstarter?
20 mins later.
OMG. X is such a fabulous friend. I can’t believe she made such a large pledge to my campaign. She is so fantastic and supportive.
Y on the other hand…
Day 7.
Ok. Ok. We’re still alive here. Did pretty well week one, so we’re ahead of target. Doesn’t mean I am not a little anxious about the lull.
No matter, we have plenty of tricks up our sleeve.
Day 8.
WHY IS NOBODY PLEDGING ANYMORE? STOP LIKING THE STUPID POSTS AND UPDATES AND JUST PLEDGE ALREADY. I HATE THE WORLD.
Day 9.
Yes! We are back in business.
This latest push has pledges rolling back in. We’re getting shoutouts. I don’t recognize any of these backer names. We’ve hit the tipping point, and our project is going to become world famous.
I wonder who I’ll thank in my Oscar speech. Definitely my mom. Maybe I’ll write a haiku and really impress people. They won’t think I am douchey at all, but rather eloquent and sophisticated. Like Meryl Streep.
Day 10.
I AM RUNNING OUT OF TRICKS.
20 seconds later.
Snap out of it Buli. You can do this. No one said it would be easy.
21 seconds later.
But I’m le tired. I want to nap. No one is answering my emails. Poor meeeeeeeee.
Day 11.
Woohoo! New Backer Alert!
I guess we’ll just keep annoying everyone we can think of. Who needs dignity amirite?
And we’ve got a live stream coming up. And a reading at a children’s bookstore named for a hip and trendy vegetable. We’ll galvanize the Brooklyn moms. It’ll be fabulous.
20 minutes later.
Who am I kidding. No one is going to tune in to our stupid live stream. We’re doomed. It’s the end of the world…
…New Backer alert…
OMG EVERYTHING IS AMAZING.
Day 12.
Holy shit! We reached 100 backers! That’s 100 people who want our book!
Should we throw a party? We could throw a party. I love everyone.
2 hours later.
Day 13.
Ok. Is it just me or is it starting to feel like this is going to be par for the course. I wonder if anyone else has ever had this experience. Maybe I’ll write about it.
Maybe if I write about it, more people will read our story and pledge to the campaign.
Yes. I’m going to write about it and the piece will be so funny that the New Yorker will reach out and want to publish it as an essay with a sharp take on contemporary life and the anguish of self-fulfillment as a millennial.
That would be good press.
1 hour later.
I don’t know how to end my story. Endings are pretty key. Shit.
Whatever, I’ll just publish it and pray to sweet baby jesus that someone pledges to buy another book cause they feel sorry for me.
Or share it at least. Share the damn campaign people. I am dying here. It’s really the least you could do.
Kthnxbai.
