TIFU by showing up to work naked
Forgive the sensational headline and the horror of my bare shoulders, but you’ll soon see that I’m not exaggerating.
I’m currently in the middle of a multi-week business trip in Tel Aviv (GMT+2). Sometimes this requires that I take phone calls with business associates back in California (GMT-8). Call me a masochist, but I’m not taking a 10.30pm call from anywhere other than the comfort and safety of my hotel room.
Which is where I found myself last night, after a full day of work in Tel Aviv, I opened my calendar, clicked a link for a conference call on Zoom.us about 10 minutes before the call was set to start, and went to brush my teeth and shove the day’s dirty laundry into a sack. Here’s what the screen looked like before I got up from my computer:
Take a look at that screenshot. Is there anything on it that suggests the meeting will automatically start with my camera on by default? Because that’s what happened when the meeting owner started the meeting a couple minutes early, and — without warning — my laptop joined the 20-person meeting with my audio and camera both on and recording.
I returned to my bed, picked up my laptop, and set it on my lap. Meeting participants got a nice, clear view of my torso from the belly button up. I was in shock. I quickly tilted the view so that only my head and shoulders were visible while I searched desperately for the camera shut-off button. I found an option to mute myself, but couldn’t, given my horror, think straight enough to methodically search the interface for the infernally elusive camera on/off switch. Frustrated, scared, and breaking out in cold sweats, I hit cmd-q to exit the app.
Once the clear and immediate danger was over, I found an online help doc, toggled the camera setting, then rejoined the meeting a couple minutes later. Someone I knew on the meeting sent me a private message letting me know he’d seen my fumble… but confirmed that more sensitive content hadn’t been visible to meeting attendees.
It could have been so much worse. I could have just as easily shown up in full view of the camera if I had taken a different path to the bed. I could have been playing some horrendously inappropriate music for all to hear… or playing said music and dancing to it — in the nude. I shudder to think of what could have been. This was a near miss, and I’m thankful for it.
You know that dream we’ve all had about showing up to school or work naked? I lived that dream, in real life, for 10 whole seconds that lasted an eternity.
But you know what is worse? As other meeting attendees showed up late, several of them were also caught by surprise by the default-on camera. I noticed that four people did this, including one other gentleman wearing nothing above the waist (and quite possibly below the waist, but the camera didn’t pan low enough, and/or he wasn’t excited enough to clear up that mystery for us). He sat there for two whole, excruciating minutes trying to figure it out while the couple dozen other meeting attendees completely ignored the person speaking and gawped at the inappropriate display. I texted the man and let him know he was on candid camera, but he was unable to find the camera off button as well.
Moral of the story? So many to choose from!
- Dress up before virtual meetings, even if you don’t think anybody’s going to see you.
- Working from home/hotel is dangerous. Don’t let your guard down, no matter how comfortable you may feel.
- Thoroughly test conference software BEFORE clicking links in calendar invitations.
- Buy and use laptop camera-cover stickers. Here or here (both recommended by friends).
- Handle a gun like it’s always loaded, and a webcam like it’s always on.
Post-script, 12 hours later: the CEO of Zoom got back to me and let me know that the team would be issuing an emergency patch this weekend to address the UX issue I encountered. I am surprised and delighted by the speed and attention they’re giving this, and am glad that my accident will result in a safer experience for their other users. Kudos to Zoom.
Hope you enjoyed my embarrassment. Click and hold your mouse down on the clap button to make it rain for my virtual peep show.
