Still Waters

I come again to the still waters,

Craving, thirsting, hungry;

This place that calms me,

And gives me peace.

It’s difficult to describe.

But it feels like home.

I grew up and lived in the same house

For the first twelve years of my life.

I look back now and realize

It was the last time I ever felt at home.

Most of this is my own fault.

I chose a career that moved my family and me

All over the place every two or three years.

My sons never had a home

Until they were nearly grown.

And even then,

It somehow always felt like a way station.

It’s was hard to put down any roots.

We become weathered by it,

And never get used to it.

And one day we fully realize

The cost of all this movement.

It starts to reveal itself in painful ways.

Like vagabonds, we roam the earth,

Searching for the childhood home

That is now gone.

At birth, we first came into exile.

We did not know our mother or father.

But then it changed.

Sweet memories of a childhood lost;

Of innocent days spent in blissful play –

All the livelong day.

Of coming home to the arms of love

Where we were nurtured each night –

Never thinking of fright –

Secure and happy and warm.

And then we left home.

At that moment we entered the indescribable

And inexpressible custody of this earth,

And the questions that life ultimately brings.

Do you really know your brother?

Which of us has known our father’s heart?

Which of us has not remained forever trapped?

Which of us is not forever a stranger and alone?

Where is the hidden door that leads us back

To that time when all seemed fresh and new?

Forever, we search for that now-overgrown trail

That would take us back,

If not home, to some place like it was –

That reminds us of all that once was good,

And that could be again-

Beside the still waters.

Glen Hines is the author of six books, including the recently published Welcome to the Machine, all available at Amazon.com and Barnes and Noble. His writing on sports, the outdoors, military service, and the bright and dark sides of American culture has been featured in Sports Illustrated, The Concussion Legacy Foundation, Task and Purpose, The Human Development Project, Kirkus Book Reviews, and elsewhere. Kirkus Reviews recently called Welcome to the Machine “An often-compelling examination of a sport’s sins from a man with an insider’s view.” He was inducted into the Authors Guild in 2022.