Amateurs

Remarkably, after all these years I still feel like an amateur. I keep looking for that manual or book that will tell me exactly how to mentor young men, unfortunately that book has yet to be written. Without it, we’re forced to listen, reflect, and adapt to each kid and moment. To call out to God for patience and wisdom. To push through the hard times and celebrate the good times. I believe it’s better this way, to always be amateurs and humble learners. I feel we’ve learned some valuable lessons along the way.

We've learned that manhood is a journey not a destination.

In our early years we tried to figure out, at what point do you become a man? Is it at a certain age, or is it a particular experience that forges you into a man? After hearing each other stories we realize that manhood is a paradox. It’s both something we are and always becoming. I am a man learning to be a man. It became much easier for us to define key traits of a man and then try to live out those traits. For that, we turn to none other than Jesus to define our manhood. We believe that since we were created in his image, manhood should be about reflecting his image. To be a man is to be like C.H.R.I.S.T. That is, you must have composure, humility, responsibility, integrity, selflessness, and tenacity. The degree to which we reflect these traits is the degree to which we are men, and so manhood becomes a journey in pursuit of Christ. Mentoring is an attempt to embody and teach those values because boys listen to what you do more than what you say.

We've learned that it truly takes a village.

None of us in our selves can reflect the full image of Christ. Realizing our limitations, we decided early on to shift from individual to small group mentoring. We also learned that we were not the only positive influence in the lives of the young men we mentor. That truth allowed us to humbly enter into the lives of these young men and play our small part on their journey to manhood. We do the best we can to engage, challenge, encourage, and impact their lives during the limited time we have with them, and then we pass them onto the rest of the community.

I felt so blessed this summer to see our first mentee graduate and go to college. Zion is a wonderful young man, and it warmed my heart when we took him to FIU that he had a place to go. We were able to connect him with InterVarsity Christian Fellowship, an organization so instrumental in shaping the spiritual journeys of college students all over the world. The current staff is a young lady that went through InterVarsity with me when we were college students. We played our part, and now another member of the village gets to play their part.

We’ve learned that presence is more important than omniscience.

Every year we take a break during the summer, and the restart is always filled with both excitement and anxiety. We’re excited to resume our time together, yet anxious as to the reciprocity of those feelings from our mentees. I hope for them, pray for them, and look forward to being with them as we continue together on this journey of manhood. I’ve learned that what matters most to the kids is that we show up. You cannot laugh, cry, listen and impact a kid unless you show up. No matter how dynamic an individual, their most important gift is availability. So many of our young men struggle because those who should have been present in their lives, like their fathers are absent. We, by God’s grace, want to be a consistent positive force in their lives for as long as he’ll entrust us with them.

Learn more about Mshauri Mentors here.