Body theme / I feel like my love hate relationship with my body has totally changed my life

We have asked our amazing network to share thought on their relationship to their body for our September theme #body on Voltwomen
Here is Quality Management Specialist & Runner Zamandulo Nangamso Mayekiso from Midrand, Johannesburg, SA

Having been born a 5kg baby and growing up in the rural Eastern Cape where chubby meant healthy to my grandparents and parents and what one eats was never an issue. I was always fairly bigger than my peers. The only advantage was that we atleast walked long distances to schools, rivers and forests otherwise being chubby was a complement.

Came high school time and it being a boarding school meant that the boarding house and school classrooms were in the same premises and that meant less walking. Preparing and catering healthy meals for a group of girl children in the boarding house was obviously not practical. In boarding school that is where I started feeling the pressure to lose weight, instead I ballooned even more and I still remained being the chubbiest of all of my friends something that worked on my emotions and pressure. I remember my friends and I jogging a distance I would imagine was just a kilometer in the mornings before class, such activity would last a week or 2 in a year. We learned about the ills associated with bread and I remember at times we used to remove the soft part of the bread at breakfast.

It is then that I disconnected and had less affection for my body, this was the beginning phase of the teasing from my peers, I started comparing my body to my friend’s bodies. The worst part was not being able to dress like a young girl that I was as I also had my thighs burned by boiling water at the age of 9.The idea of short dresses, short pants and skirts was far-fetched from my reality.

Come varsity, I started playing soccer because I knew that I had to keep active as my diet was not impressive.

Years after varsity with lack of activity and all sorts of diets, weight fluctuations, I got attacked by allergies. Running was my saving grace as the allergic reactions got better with weight loss and an active life style. I still never got to a point where I really am confident and in so much in love with my body. I stopped putting boundaries and limitations on myself, I started wearing what feels comfortable in my body, I started wearing swim suits when I go to the beach. I never felt so good about my body.

I stopped putting boundaries and limitations on myself, I started wearing what feels comfortable in my body

Right now with injuries( I injured my knee whilst running ) and busy schedules(days really differ) there are still times when I eat myself fat and really hate my body thereafter because hips really never lie. Muffin top bellies can be really frustrating. I am currently and always dealing with my muffin top belly and I have learned that consistency in training and clean eating is key.

I feel like my body is so jealous of my love relationship with many treats (maybe too much of this love). I feel like my love hate relationship with my body has totally changed my life, I can’t live without exercise.

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