GABRIELLA KELLY “DEFY CONVENTIONS”

voltwomen
voltwomen
Aug 23, 2017 · 4 min read

I used to have a really bad habit racing the 400m. I could only win when I was leading from the gun. When the stagger broke on the curve, if I saw the competition pull ahead more than 2–3 strides from my periphery, I would almost always slow down with 150m to go. It was like others’ motivation had the ability to deflate my own. Total self-sabotage.

I guess it shouldn’t come as a surprise that I didn’t take well to unemployment. Growing up in the pressure-cooker that is NYC I was obsessed with achieving and maintaining a certain level of success. At the time I just didn’t realize it wasn’t my definition of success. Job hunting for example, I frequently found myself passing over roles that sounded too frivolous, creative or fun (ie. every non-corporate job). I asked myself questions like “would someone who also went to my university take this job?” or even “would those people be impressed if I had this job?” I believed my identity would forever be defined by the career I chose at that exact moment and so I wanted to be sure that I made the “right” decision.

I felt like I was at the 250m mark again and my peers were taking off without me. Instead of speeding up to chase them I was doing what I’d done so many times before and stalling out. I felt myself falling further and further behind. I didn’t have a clear idea of what kind of career I wanted to pursue. I didn’t have a specific skillset nor a particular realm of interest. And employers could see it. Interview after interview went by and I felt totally and utterly lost. And then I did something I had never done before — I quit.

As athletes we grow up with this crazy strong aversion to quitting. Its a dirty word reserved for the weak and cowardly. But I’m not afraid to say it, I quit the NYC rat race. I quit doing shit I hated just to make my peers respect me. I quit applying to jobs I had no interest in. I quit everything I was “supposed” to be winning at, and instead, made the decision to step off the track and take charge at actually working towards winning the race that I wanted to be running: my life.

I bought my one-way ticket to London on my 23rd birthday. When I told my family and friends about my decision they were supportive albeit skeptical. It was clearly a detour from the “right” track and they were worried. But London gave me space I’d never had before. I found myself returning over and over again to a small list of things I love most — traveling, running, being outside and surrounding myself with a crew of friends morning noon and night. I began to imagine a life in which I could prioritize the things that really matter to me and use this energy to create something bigger. For me this also meant coming to a difficult realization — I’m just not cut out for a traditional corporate job. It will never fit my basic requirements for fulfillment nor “meet my expectations” for what work should be — engaging, creative, physical and rewarding. Based off this conclusion I’ve also had to think critically about how I define success. I’ve had to come to terms with the fact that I might not hit the same milestones as my friends or make as much money. And more than anything else, that the moment in which I’m happiest and feel most centered in life may not be understood as such by others as we no longer share the same finish line.

It’s been four years since I bought that one-way ticket. I’ve lived in three countries, most recently moving to Paris to work for a running apparel startup. Just like in my real-life running career I’ve given up sprinting for long distance running, and traded finite and superficial finish-lines for exploration and discovery. When I go home to NYC now it’s very different. I’m not longer the one behind on the curve, struggling to catch up. In fact, it often feels like my peers think I’m the one winning, which is funny… considering I quit competing against them a long time ago.

voltwomen

We started nearly four years ago with the IG platform @Voltwomen — we are a truly global community — our IWDrun on international womensday is a good example. Our network has among others elite runners as well as beginners.

)

voltwomen

Written by

voltwomen

Voltwomen is a platform and perspective, it's an individual commitment and a global network - we live on IG @voltwomen and you are so welcome to participate.

voltwomen

voltwomen

We started nearly four years ago with the IG platform @Voltwomen — we are a truly global community — our IWDrun on international womensday is a good example. Our network has among others elite runners as well as beginners.

Welcome to a place where words matter. On Medium, smart voices and original ideas take center stage - with no ads in sight. Watch
Follow all the topics you care about, and we’ll deliver the best stories for you to your homepage and inbox. Explore
Get unlimited access to the best stories on Medium — and support writers while you’re at it. Just $5/month. Upgrade