One Unknown Way to be Happier
It definitely isn’t a secret that having good relationships is the number one reason for being happy. A study even found that having a strong network of friends extends your life-expectancy.
But there is one thing I have to tell you
Building good relationships isn’t as easy as the title of this story might suggest. There is no easy hack for achieving it, but there are some habits you can install in your life that support the development of friendships.
There are many books on how to have better relationships. I would say that they essentially all say one thing: Be nice.
But knowing that doesn’t make you a nicer person. Being nice doesn’t only mean being friendly, it also means being a good listener, being polite, sincere, reliable and many other things. But that’s no secret, so how can you be more than that?
The unknown part of being nice
The biggest part of relationships are conversations. Endless amounts of them. You can probably fill books about things you know about others. That’s something you should be proud of. You can only give others those special acts of kindness by knowing what is special about them. There is only one problem with that: The ability of the human brain to remember is pretty limited. All the active listening doesn’t help much if we forget most of it.
So here comes the big secret I have promised: Write it down.
I have to admit, it actually doesn’t sound like a secret, but take a second to ask yourself: Do you make use of this method? Probably not. Most of us have to admit that they forget some things about others from time to time, so why not simply write it down? Yes, most people are too lazy, but hey, building friendships takes effort. It isn’t something you can automate, it’s actual work.
Are you worrying that writing it down doesn’t give you any results? Think again. It’s proven that writing things down increases the probability of you remembering them.
In case you worry that you will never use your notes because they are way to unorganized, I got you covered: You can use Votre. It’s a tool that organizes everything that you write about your friends. In case you are interested, you can find out more on Votre’s homepage.
Being a “friend” in todays world
Social media make it increasingly hard to be mindful about our conversations. That’s why it’s even more important to take your time and reflect on your social interactions. I still suggest writing about them. It forces you to formulate your feelings into words. That gives you a clearer understanding of your social world. You also create an environment where others can rely on you, because you remember things. But don’t forget to use a system you trust in. Having single pieces of paper around your office and home won’t give you a feeling of being in control.
I suggest Votre, as it really helps you being organized. You can @-mention people and later read what you’ve written about them. But bear in mind: It isn’t a social network. It’s for your eyes only.
Disagree with me?
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Agree with me?
Start writing now!
