A rangoli on menstruation, and then, a vengeful bloodbath orchestrated by men
Looking back at events of 2017 with the perspective of a feminist 25 year old Indian woman, triggered by reading the book, “The Seven Necessary Sins for Women and Girls.”
I’m reading a book currently, “The Seven Necessary Sins for Women and Girls”, and I just read a chapter about women saying “I matter” and being attacked for that.
This reminded me, of course, of the revenge by the world’s misogyny against Heard before the Depp v Heard trial had reached a verdict. But more than that, it reminded me of the time that we made a rangoli on menstruation, and what followed was months of harassment of the entire team who made the rangoli and whoever could be associated with it. And the men who did the harassment were hailed and rewarded. Because women dared to say that they matter. AND dared to WIN, at a competition where the “real” competition was supposed to be only among the men.
Mainly, because women were seen, and heard.
The idea of depicting menstruation began as a joke.
2018, deciding the theme of that year’s rangoli for the annual Illumination competition. Every hostel had to make a large rangoli (14ft*14ft, ~4.2m*4.3m) every year for Diwali, and the girls’ hostel always struggled with finding enough enthusiasts. The discussion began with a frustrated, “nobody cares about our rangoli anyway, let’s just make something that we care about so that we please at least ourselves.” Now, sure, we could make something on women empowerment, but whatever women empowerment we knew about seemed so meh, so superficial, so repetitive, but also so pointless. Because there would always be “oh these women are so predictable, always crying about equality.” And then everyone would forget it. So then the joke, “What if we put blood on it LOL!” It was definitely a joke from my side, because OMG how can you make blood on the rangoli?? In other words, how can you break the societal norm and do something so “selfish”!?
Moreover, it was “oh so wild”, in other words, blasphemous to even consider doing a rangoli on menstruation in the Hindu festival of Diwali. A woman who is menstruating isn’t allowed in a temple for fuck’s sake. And this was a competition on a religious day! History was, every year the winning rangoli would either be an avatar of Vishnu or a form of Shiva, made by, of course, one the men’s hostels. People would venture to social issues, but try to play safe and please the judges, so “nothing serious”. Coz “people just want to have some fun yaar.” But then, a few conversations later, we (me and two “CS girls”) had decided: IIT needs to open its minds about menstruation and we’re goddamn making blood on the fucking rangoli. After all, what’s the point of making a similar rangoli every year, only alternating between two-three major Gods? We’re supposed to be the next generation of creative and brilliant minds leading the nation, no??
Lucky me, I found women who were as excited as me about this, AND were more creative than me. They put in all the effort required to make a good design which has colour, beauty AND meaning and then, poured their heart into making it real, with rangoli, which is, essentially, coloured sand, but finer. Even luckier us, because we won!
We got little time to celebrate, because the next morning, we faced a barrage of abuse from the men’s hostel that did not win.
Our entire social media feeds were covered with abuse, in messages, in memes, in posts on forums and groups. Moreover, the abuse flowed to in-person interactions. In classrooms, social circles, AND in university clubs. It was worse when it happened, and these are only the tiny remnants in my memory after 4 years. It was the new “cool thing” to abuse women by calling them bloody filthy animals who want to spread their dirty blood everywhere or crack degrading jokes about how women make use of their vaginas to climp up the professional ladder. Also “mujhe haseen dard de do” style rape jokes (women are asking for it; where it = “beautiful” pain, meaning taking her virginity). Women from my team largely had to distance themselves from this whole thing, make themselves less visible, less proud of their own victory, less feminist, less everything. It was not just the 12 women who made the rangoli but at least about 100 others out of the 300 who lived in the hostel. All while the men who did it were lauded.
And everyone told me that if I were to “make a fuss” about it, it would only get worse. But I found out who did it, and mentioned a police complaint. Immediately, public posts were deleted, (the abuse just happened in “friends only” social media, personal messages, and escalated in-person mockery). I was told to keep quiet because I’m “destroying the future of a man” who did a “tiny mistake”. And what’s the big deal now? Said man has deleted his posts, so the abuse is over now. Right? Except, said man never acknowledged that he instigated abuse by hundreds of men, never apologised, and never truly felt that he made a mistake. So he never told others to stop their abuse, and the encouragement went on. For months.
The men forgot about their actions after having their “fun”, but the women will carry it in their subconscious memories forever, even if they don’t “remember” remember it now. Why did we have to go through that? Why did my dear juniors have to suffer?
All of this, because women were seen and heard.
Because women wanted to make people realise a major problem: menstruation in IIT was very inconvenient, dangerous even!
Menstruation is already a taboo in India, and now imagine a place with <10% women. You couldn’t find a clean washroom in most buildings except the main ones. You couldn’t mention by any chance that you’re on your period. And god forbid you get your period in the middle of a lecture! How will you take permission too leave? Or worse, get your period in the middle of hanging out with friends?? I remember I once excused myself to go to the washroom and said I have cramps and then I heard a joke made behind my back by a man about how I gave an excuse to avoid work and the excuse was that I wantred to shit.
In my quest of unlearning my internalised misogyny, I realise the importance of remembering this, and looking at it through this new perspective.
To me, and to whichever woman is reading this and was a part of these events, always remember that we made a statement, and we dared to say that we matter, and we did, because we are as much human as they are.
And you might have forgotten the harassment, because I’m sure this wasn’t the only time you were harassed in IIT, but it’s okay, as long as you don’t forget your rights :)
Okay bye and remember to drink water. ❤
Appendix: (just copy pasted it, didn’t fact check what Abha’s and my 21-year-old selves wrote)
Theme: Let’s talk about menstruation openly
Vedic Hinduism and Pagan religion believed that the alignment of the moon and celestial bodies that is, the nakshatras, gave the female her core strength and her ability to reproduce and regenerate. Menstruation marks the birth of fertility and this rangoli tries to show this phase of a woman’s life. The upper region of rangoli depicts the universe and the celestial bodies. The moon cycle mirrors a woman’s menstrual cycle, which lasts roughly 29.5 days, just as the waxing and waning of the moon. A woman’s menstrual cycle changes from the menstruation of new growth to the ovulation of full power and blossom, to the pre-menstrual phase of harvest and degeneration, and back to menstruation of renewal again. Here you can see Venus, the Greek goddess of love, beauty, femininity, fertility and prosperity. The entire energy of the universe concentrates, forming a spiral, bestowing all its power to give women their inner strength.
The menstrual blood is sacred and self-nourishing, as you can see in the centre. These flames represent her core strength to fight her inner demons and also Indian celebrations or yagyas performed when a girl first menstruates. The lotus symbolizes the womb and water her ability to be calm and composed during tense situations. The greenery depicts her connection with Mother nature, the butterflies her freedom and flowers her beauty and elegance.
To the right is painted a picture of the harsh realities of today, because early religions never considered menstruation are unholy or impure. Whether ovulating or bleeding, struggling with pre-menstrual syndrome or conception, our bodies, energy levels, sense of self, even our abilities are constantly shifting each and every day. And yet, nobody talks about it — a taboo among more mundane and everyday topics. The myths, such as, a menstruating woman is dirty and impure, that she cannot worship, that when she touches a tree, it wilts and that can she cannot lead a normal life during that phase are baseless, for it’s not the inner you but only the biology that is changing. Let us accept that menstrual blood is pure, sacred and respect women for being blessed with the power to give birth.
As Manu from Hindu Mythology says in Manusmriti, “Yatra Naryastu Pujyante, Ramanti Tatra Devtaha, Yatraitaastu Na Pujyante, Savastatra Afalaha Kriyaha”
Which means ‘the divine are extremely happy where women are respected, but where they are not, all actions, however good and holy, are fruitless’. Let’s talk about menstruation freely, not as if it’s a taboo and let the flower of fertility blossom.
Symbolism used in the rangoli
Universe: Belief of Vedic and Pagan religion that celestial bodies like moon and Venus cause menstruation;
spiral: energy of universe spiralling into her womb;
Blood: menstrual blood as sacred as a river;
Flames: Yagyas performed when a girl first menstruates;
On the green side:
Lotus: womb
butterflies: freedom, greenery: connection with mother nature
flower: beauty and elegance, water: calmness and composure during tense situations;
On the barren side:
Wilted plant and dried tree: myths that when a menstruating woman touches a tree, it wilts and dies;
Barren land: menstruation treated as a taboo, everything she touches is cursed.
