Justification vs Acceptance

The other day I started thinking about life before quarantine. I started regretting a lot of things like all the times I didn’t go out because I was lazy or the times where I went out and didn’t really appreciate or enjoy the moment. If I could go back what could I have done differently? life is so crazy and things change so fast and unexpected things happen, so I wondered what life have I lived? What about all the mistakes I have made, do I regret them, or do I accept them?

If you were to justify all of the actions you have done in your life what would be your justification? What would you say?

Think.

This is the first answer that came to my mind; I am only human and I always try to do my best and follow my moral compass (do what I think is right). I have made many mistakes in my life, but I have learned from them, but I will also keep making mistakes because I am human.

When I come to think about it, it is hard to justify an action that you have done that you continuously knew was wrong, so why do we do them? I say I follow my moral compass and I always try to do the best thing, but does that mean I am a good person. As for me, I have a very strong moral compass, I always try to do the “right thing”, however, the right thing is subjective, I may think it is right and somebody else may think it is wrong.

So how would I justify myself to someone who won’t understand me? To feel accepted? To feel accomplished? To feel like a good person? We live in such a big world with so many people, why do we feel the need to explain ourselves instead of owning who we are? Do we need other people’s approval? Why? Is it because we are insecure? Or we don’t trust our criteria? Why do we live in a world where we try to please others instead of being themselves and why do some people think they are better than others if we are all the same? To be honest I just think that we live in a world with so much diversity and complexity, that it is incredibly easy to lose ourselves and our essence. We live our lives every day and sometimes we feel sad, mad, happy, lost, confused, insecure, confident, etc, what does it mean to have a good human life?

There are days where I just wake up and question myself or even my existence. Why am I alive, why do I have the life that I have? What is my purpose in life? Is my future already made or will I do it myself? What does it mean to be human? Should I be excited about my future? Do I have a destiny? These are all questions I ask myself when I feel unmotivated or bothered, but then I remember we all live in such a complex world where we are all different and we all contribute in our special way.

That is the beauty of humanity.

Variation

I cannot change the past nor foresee my future. I can only control a few things in the present, but something I can always do is find the light in the darkness, the beauty in the ugly, and appreciate what I have and not what I want. We all make mistakes and we all have our ideas and opinions, conflicts or mistakes are not about justification, they are about acceptance and growth.

Life should not be about regret, but it should be about opportunities to learn and grow, we should not go looking for someone or something. We should become who we want. We should accept who we are and what we have done, we should live our lives instead of simply existing. Accepting who we are and what we truly want, embracing our perfections and imperfections, living as the person we one day wish to become.