Bare Skin Project: How to Be Confidence Just The Way You Are
“My skin is beautiful right now because I’ve worked hard to make it beautiful.”
The dark eye circles, a few pimples on the chin, some visible pores on the nose, and thin eyebrows on my face… for the past 30 years, I have lived with this face and this skin is the house of my soul for this lifetime. I have come to learn that maybe the most important thing of all is that it’s not about having the perfect Instagram flawless skin, nor the expensive skincare brands, but about the process I take care of myself.
#1 When did you learn to accept yourself? And how long did it take?
Oh, it has been a tough and long journey, but one well worth it. I wish I could say that I had it all figured out when I was a teenager. But that definitely was not the case. Self-confidence was always something that I kind of struggled with. I think it took me about ten years to develop into who I am today. And I owe a lot to my past ‘negative’ experience.
#2 What really helped me?
I always feel like one thing that really helped me the most when I felt extremely insecure about my own image and how people look at me is that when I look into the mirror. Sometimes, when I walked past the store caught my reflection, there’s nothing that can make me feel more insecure or self-conscious that I am not pretty and I am not enough. I do not deserve love. In fact, I rushed into love when a boy showed some interest in me because deep down in my heart I wanted love but simultaneously I don’t see myself deserving it. It was such a conflicting position and self-diminishing experience. I was in the kind of relationships where I’ve to dress a certain way, to look a certain way, to say the right thing at the right time… that is not a relationship that you want to be in. As you may have guessed, it did not work out. It broke my heart but also woke me up.
#3 Developing myself
Why am I putting myself through these things? I was tired of being someone who I am not. I was tired of pretending to be the kind of woman that the social media influencers appear to be. The way that we have been brought up as a woman is standardized. There is a certain kind of standard of what is considered beauty. I kind of struggled with it for a long time trying to become more like someone who I am not. And that’s true not only on the outward appearance but also internally. Women are brought up to be understanding and sympathetic. So if we desire something or don’t want something, we feel like having to apologize or justify for it.
I started to realise that it’s okay to not like the same things as somebody else does. And it’s okay to not have the latest trendy fashion. It’s okay not to look the way the Instagram girls look. That was the thing that I struggled with for the longest time because I felt like I kind of have to fit in. I thought that being like her can make me more worthy. I thought I had to like the same things as other people so I can have what they have.
#4 Exercising my self-confidence
A wise man said “self-confidence is a muscle. You have to exercise it every single day to make it stronger.”
Everybody has insecurities. What matters is what you do about it. You are not alone on the journey to find self-confidence. Take a deep breath, remind yourself that life is too short and you got to make the best of it. Regardless of where we are right now, we can all change and evolve for the better.
Planting helps me to understand that there are many forms of beauty. Each flower and each branch are not the same yet they have their own kind of expression in this world. It reminds me that we are all beautiful and unique in our own way. And plants help to soak up carbon dioxide, removing airborne toxins and pollutants to reduce stress and improve mood.
Invest time in learning about skincare and how to take good care of your skin. And W Attitude is a great platform to do so. It is focused on women’s attitude towards self-care, self-worth, skincare, beauty, feeling good, confidence, and holistic health. I feel like good skin is the foundation of self-confidence because we are more willing to look and face ourselves in the mirror. When we do that, we can find our unique expression.
Taking myself as an example, my dark eye circles have been with me since I was 3 because it is genetic and inherited. I have spent lots of time and money to reduce the coloring and even though they are still here, my eyes look more natural even without any makeup and I am able to accept this as part of my expression. It is less about having the flawless magazine skin or face but more about discovering your own personal uniqueness, then enhancing and improving on that basis to be more of yourself.
There will be times when you are going to want to give up or you are feeling lost and doubtful. Whenever I feel meh or have any negative emotions, I simply pick up my detox journal to declutter and detox my mind and set it back to the right course. After using a certain formula to journal and declutter my mind, I am able to transform the same negative situation that was giving me all these negative emotions to finding out the truths about how I can improve myself and level up my life to become more of myself.
Plant some flowering plants to understand that each of us has a different unique way of expression in this world.
Face yourself in the mirror to find your personal uniqueness before improving on that basis to be more of yourself.
Investing time to learn about skin care and take care of your skin.
Journal to detox the mind and transform a negative experience into fuel to level up myself.
Self-confidence does not come from having flawless skin, it comes from the process of accepting and working on oneself to be a better self.
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