The Four “Worst” Places in NYC to Come Out to Your Families
My fork is shaking as I pick at a swordfish meatball, sending pine nuts scattering across the plate. It’s a warm Thursday night in late spring in Philadelphia and my mom and I are packed tightly into Amis, the casual bistro by Philadelphia great Mark Vetri. In the 30 minutes I’ve been here, I haven’t been able to taste the fried rice balls or the ricotta cheese spread with aplomb onto toasted baguette. All I’m thinking about is the well-dressed gay couple, two men in their late 40s, sitting 6 inches from my right elbow.
“Fuck,” I think to myself. “This is going to be a fucking disaster.”
I’ve spent the last week or so building up to this moment. I’ve discussed it with friends, sought advice from the Internet and reached out to mentors at university. I’ve come too far to back out, but I’m acutely aware that on this night, at this restaurant, with these men half a breath away, this is a terrible idea.
“Mom, I have to tell you something. I’m gay.”
On fucking cue, the gay men turn around, mouths slightly open, pasta falling unremembered off their forks, and stare. I’m now coming out to my mother and whoever else happens to be in earshot.
I’m lucky, because I have the type of mom who has since joined PFLAG and texts me “Happy Pride Month — Go Lesbians!!” every June. Whether you’re expecting your family to roll out the rainbow carpet or have already lined up a place to crash with friends, I can tell you there are MUCH better ways to burst out of the closet than in the middle of rush hour dinner service, a nosy couple at your side. Here’s my list of the worst 4 places in NYC to come out to your families:
Estela
Estela, on Houston on the border of SoHo, poses several problems. First, the Amis Conundrum. Most nights, your glad that Estela packs in as many humans as possible and you got a change to savor as many small plates as your little queer stomach can handle. Tonight, however, you’re going to rue the tight space and wish you had more breathing room. Plus, those steps from the second story down to breathable air on Houston are somewhat precarious.
If you do find yourself coming out at Estela: go for the beef tartar, and hope it’s the only beef you have that night.
Yakiniku Futago
Somehow, this flatiron BBQ spot has flown under the radar in the last 6 months. Maybe it’s because Japanese BBQ doesn’t have the following in the US that it’s Korean counterpart has attracted. Maybe people are turned off because it’s a restaurant centered around hot grills and the AC isn’t up to the task in the summer. Either way, it’s a phenomenal spot to pack yourself with meat and rice and a fun, interactive time. Let me be clear: DEFINITELY GO TO YAKINIKU FUTAGO.
However, I’ve found that family arguments and hot grill plates are not the safest combination. Think ahead and keep your loved ones away from hazards. Cubbyhole is hot enough, your coming out doesn’t need to be.
If you do find yourself coming out at Yakiniku Futago: go for the 10 second beef, and hope the conversation lasts about as long. The waitress coming to cook your food for you will serve as a welcome distraction.
Le Bernardin
Eric Ripert’s three Michelin star institution has been serving up the premier seafood in the city since the late 1990’s. The quality has hardly wavered since its first James Beard award in 1998 and each dish wows. This experience is not, however, for the faint of heart. A meal can last upwards of several hours (and the wine pairing is generous). The last place you want to be stuck in the world’s most uncomfortable conversation is a one to four hour dining experience. The same goes for any restaurant where the courses reach double digits (we’re looking at you, Brooklyn Fare). Instead, check out Ripert’s nearby wine bar Aldo Sohm for a quick bite and a quicker exit.
If you do find yourself coming out at Le Bernardin: Lean in. Go heavy on the wine pairing and finish your sister’s glass when she heads to the bathroom. You need it more than she does.
Extra pro-tip: Don’t ask if the kitchen is still making the sea salt egg pot de creme. Demand the sea salt egg pot de creme.
Sushi Seki
Sushi Seki serves up more-than-moderately priced sushi at three locations around the city. If the elaborate pieces of fish look familiar, it’s because Chef Seki did a sting at Sushi of Gari, taking tofu-topped tuna and warm grilled tomato with him. The food here is phenomenal, and the omakase is priced somewhere between perfectly reasonable and “wow that’s a lot of zeros.”
The obvious plus here is that this is a great parent restaurant, and sushi is a relatively non-aggressive food. Beware though: many of the locations feature small tatami rooms, where groups eat barefoot on the ground. Two major issues with this one: first, the screens create the illusion that your space is private (it’s not). Second, those tatami rooms make it pretty hard to run away.
If you do find yourself coming out at Sushi Seki: Go for the omakase, after all, mom is paying.
The List
Estela
47 E Houston St
b/t Greene St & Mulberry St
NoHo, Nolita
Yakiniku Futago
37 W 17th St
b/t Avenue Of The Americas & 5th Ave
Flatiron
Le Bernardin
The Equitable Bldg
155 W 51st St
Theater District, Midtown West
Sushi Seki
Multiple Locations
Photo Credits: Estela, Yakiniku Futago, Le Bernardin, Sushi Seki
Works in finance, lives in New York (but likes Philly better) and enjoys making people uncomfortable while dining
THANKS FOR READING :)
Waddle is a growing community of foodies, bloggers, and writers suggesting and sharing experiences of memorable places. Become a contributor! >> email us
Coming out? Even if you’re not >> click to tweet
