Staying home with teenagers
Remember that time we had just stocked up on Aqua Net and disposable cameras when they canceled prom and graduation; and, we had to stay at home for weeks and learn how to do our homework over dial up internet? Me neither.
This is new for all of us
Our teens are experiencing things we never experienced. What are your favorite memories of being a teenager? Sports? Canceled. Hanging out with your friends? Stay 6 feet away. Parties? No gatherings. Getting a movie from Blockbuster? Closed. (Not because of the pandemic, but still.)
We can’t rely on our own life experiences to understand how this is affecting our kids. We are learning how to live in this new world along with our teens. Listen to them. Ask them questions. What is it like to be them? Some of these teens are essential workers. As they are providing essential services to their communities, they’re learning to weigh risks to themselves and risks to their loved ones. These are heavy responsibilities that we didn’t have to think about when we first got after-school jobs.
We all have the same emotions, but we don’t all have the same tools
Help your teens notice how they feel and what they have control over. How does your body and your energy level feel after you’ve been playing video games for so long? How do you feel after getting some exercise?
It’s not necessary to sugarcoat difficult facts or try to get your teens to see the bright side of difficult situations all the time. It’s okay for them to feel their full range of emotions. Help them express those emotions in a way that isn’t hurtful to themselves or others. Be there to talk about it. Help them name their emotions and figure out what’s the best thing they can do next.
Spend time with your teen. Sometimes the best times to talk are when you are in the middle of doing something else. Teach them to cook. To do their own laundry. To write a check. To unclog a drain. And be ready to listen wherever and whenever they are ready to talk.
We are learning to live with uncertainty
Things that don’t change have changed. Our daily lives have changed. Markers of the seasons and major life events have been canceled. Higher education looks different. The prospect of getting a job looks different. Our teens are learning about themselves and about what it’s like to live with the unknown. They will face other uncertain times in their lives — unwelcome diagnoses, divorce, job loss, financial troubles. Take this time to teach them ways to find the strength and patience to live with uncertainty.
Practice compassion
Our teens are watching us and learning how to interpret what’s going on through us. Teach them to care about others. Sometimes caring looks like volunteering for a local charity organization, and sometimes it looks like staying home.
More information
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Department of Health call center: 1–800–525–0127, 6 a.m. to 10 p.m, seven days a week
Please check our website for the most up-to-date info on Washington’s response to COVID-19 at www.doh.wa.gov/coronavirus.
