Wake up Marketers: Men have feelings too
As a male, I have mixed feelings (yes, we have them, too) about who marketers think I am, and what they think I want. On the one hand, I find myself increasingly frustrated with the way men are portrayed in mainstream media — baby-fearing, household-chore-avoiding, light-beer-guzzling troglodytes.
On the other hand, the very idea of men’s rights — and I’m talking about the humanist concept, not the hate mongering of fringe trolls — rings oblivious, especially in the wake of recent events like the Isla Vista killings, the NFL’s response to brutal cases of domestic assault, or the victim-shaming of celebrities whose private photos were hacked and leaked.
Regardless, it’s an important topic to explore because unfortunately, when it comes to modeling masculinity, too many marketers are lagging behind — not leading — reality. Too many brands default to a paint-by-numbers approach to “man talk,” speaking in a language that’s more heavily influenced by broad sitcom generalizations than it is by an understanding of the unstated desires of actual men. So, what’s the missing ingredient? Empathy. For both the audience and its many idiosyncrasies.
In reality, men are chasing the idea that they can have it all, too. Powerful professional and perfect(ish) parent; sensitive spouse and sturdy-as-oak provider. Call it a focus group of one, but in addition to being a husband and father, I have a career that I’m deeply committed to, where I work with a group of incredible people who I also consider family. And in a world of increased time scarcity, not to mention elevated expectations all around, that frequently requires making tough tradeoffs between the two. So a little empathy can go a long way.
That’s not to say that some marketers aren’t doing it right. Look at Honey Maid’s “This is Wholesome” campaign, a beautifully nuanced portrait of changing family dynamics in America. Leave it to an old-fashioned graham cracker brand to land a progressive message about inclusivity with some of the most touching brand storytelling since Dove’s “Real Beauty.” The human insight that Mondelēz International captured here is as simple as it is universal: unconventional familial structures — represented by interracial, same-sex, and single-parent families — are becoming the new normal.
What this work, and the subsequent #NotBroken effort on National Stepfamily Day, did so brilliantly — aside from provoking the evangelicals into a lather of intolerance — was hold the screen up as a mirror, and allow us to see ourselves, and our collective values, reflected aspirationally and authentically at the same time.
Now, much as I’d like to draw conclusions from my own personal experiences, at Omelet, an LA-based creative company, we rely on a more rigorous methodology. So to better understand the current state of manhood, who better to talk with than real men? In the latest issue of Wake Up, our quarterly intelligence report, we explored the state of modern masculinity by sending our team of strategists and cultural anthropologists into the field to get inside the hearts and minds of a diverse group of guys.
After spending months studying the beliefs, behaviors, attitudes, and aspirations of this audience, we walked away with one incontrovertible truth: men are complicated creatures. Certainly more so than the responsibility-phobic, allergic-to-shopping, man-cave-dwelling receptacles for box scores and nachos that you see portrayed in commercials every Sunday afternoon. So this is a plea to marketers. Let’s start thinking about men — and marketing to them — differently.
Let’s start celebrating, rather than mocking, the rise of the stay-at-home dad. Let’s embrace the fact that today’s men are spending more time on childcare and housework than prior generations. Let’s applaud them for taking more care in their personal appearances and caring less about the cars they drive. Because they’re also spending more money, more impulsively, than ever before, and sharing their personal experiences — both positive and negative — with a jury of their social peers.
Let’s drop the gender “brofiling,” and start seeing men for who they actually are: a complex collection of individuals who share a chromosomal structure. To read more about modern men and their habits, take a look at Wake Up: The Men Issue.
Sean McNamara is an independent marketing consultant living in Venice, CA. Find him at seanmmcnamara.com/ or on Twitter at @smacknamara.
