How to Handle Postponing a Wedding Due to Covid-19
Weddings expert Jessica Mulroney shares helpful advice — whether it’s for you or a loved one
The pandemic has impacted on so many facets of life, including otherwise joyful occasions like weddings. While health and safety is certainly the priority at this time, many soon-to-be-wed couples are having to reschedule or come up with creative alternatives. (Like Josh and Sarah, the couple featured in The Bright Side.) So, what should you — or someone you love — do?
To find out, we turned to wedding expert Jessica Mulroney, whose show I Do, Redo is dedicated to giving couples a do-over of their dream day. Here’s our helpful — and inspiring — chat.
Wake-Up Call: Your Netflix and CTV show ‘I Do, Redo’ is all about giving second chances to couples whose weddings were initially marked by other forms of tragedy. What compelled you to give these couples a second shot at a dream wedding?
Jessica Mulroney: Weddings, to me, are about so much more than a dress, a first dance, speeches, and a cake. They are about taking stock of what got you to that point in your life, with the person you love by your side. They are about taking a personal inventory of the history you carry together and sharing the load moving forward. In too many cases, couples bring past trauma and tragedy into their new chapter. I Do, Redo is about talking through that tragedy, and letting go of that trauma, so that couples can bring new light and fresh air into their life together.
And now, with the current pandemic, so many couples are having to alter their own wedding plans. Have you been hearing from any couples in this position?
There is nothing more important than the health and security of our friends, family, and frontline workers, not to mention the most vulnerable among us. But there are also stories of couples who poured years of savings into weddings that had to be postponed or, in some cases, canceled altogether. I hear from brides on a daily basis hoping for guidance on how to recoup their losses, or how they can put together a meaningful celebration on a limited budget once the pandemic has ended.
What advice would you give to a couple who’s had to change their wedding plans? From emotional advice — as they’re having to face this unexpected hurdle — to practical advice, like getting back deposits.
From an emotional standpoint, it comes down to perspective: If you are planning to marry once the quarantine has lifted, that means you, your partner, and those closest to you are healthy. Does it really matter if you can’t book your venue for that one weekend you had your heart set on? If your father is healthy enough to walk you down the aisle, do you really care if you have to get married on a Friday, rather than a Saturday? In a post-coronavirus world, I want all future brides to celebrate that we are here, we are healthy, and we are together. The wedding details should matter a whole lot less than they used to.
Practically speaking, many venues are honoring deposits and working with couples who need to postpone due to the pandemic. Many have policies against it, but if you approach them with kindness, they may be able to work with you to find a solution that fits everyone’s needs.
We’re also seeing a number of people having Zoom (and other forms of video conference) weddings. What are your stances on those?
Love always finds a way, and I am here for it! Some people cannot wait, and if Zoom can get them to where they need to be, more power to them. Maybe they can host a fun reception in a few months! The wedding industry will certainly need our business when this is over, and if you can afford to celebrate in real time, I certainly encourage that.
Have you seen any inspirational weddings/ impromptu curbside nuptials that have had an impact on you?
I was approached by a bride whose mother was undergoing chemotherapy, but because of the pandemic, needed to stop her treatments. She was desperate to push up her wedding to ensure her mother could see her get married, but she was having difficulty finding the dress she and her mom had originally selected. I was able to find the dress for her, and even though her mom was very sick, she got married in her dream dress, with her mother watching, proudly. The rest of her guests watched the wedding virtually.
What advice would you have for parents who are helping their children through not only the stress and fear of a pandemic, but also having to change their weddings?
My rule of thumb is that if you are asking yourself if you should postpone, then you should probably postpone. There isn’t a person anywhere who won’t understand that your “Save The Date” card will need updating. … If you’re going to do it once, wait to do it RIGHT!
Follow Jessica Mulroney on Instagram and Twitter.
I Do, Redo is streaming on CTV in Canada and will be released by Netflix worldwide this year.
This appeared in Katie Couric’s Wake-Up Call newsletter. Subscribe here.
