Helping ourself first, then others, or otherwise?
I pretty sure, every people have faced the confuse condition that helping himself first or others first? this topic still being debate by general public for a several time. So, which one is right??
1. yourself first then others
imagine this example, have you ever had this instruction before?
“if the air pressure in the cabin decreases suddenly, pull the oxygen mask towards you, covering your mouth and nose, hook the rubber over your head and breath like usual, passengers who carrying children must wear a mask first before wearing it at your kids.”
from example above, we can conclude that helping ourselves doesn’t meant we’re selfish, at some case, we have to priorate ourselves before others, that's the mechanism, don't reverse it.
imagine if adults don't wear a mask first, just for 30 second, all of body lost the oxygen and then the brain loses consciousness.
and if adults loses their consciousness, how can they help their children ?? if we pull this towards extreme possibilities, the adults and the kids would die in this accident if there’s no clear setting priorities on urgent instruction.
there’s no selfish at choosing priorities, but we have thought clearly before helping the others, which’s keep yourself saved before
some people apply this principle at different case, likes giving a debt, share with orphan children, I thought, this principle most ideal for other life case, because we can help others without sacrifice ourselves.
2. Helping each other's according to religion perspective
Ok… forget the topic before and lets reverse this title, ”‘helping others to help yourself” or even “helping other’s is helping yourself.” , what is that mean???? that's not even make sense, how could??? I know, sounds like cliche right? indeed, but please don’t close this article immediately, let use religious approach first, because I'm a Muslim, I would use Islam for references.
Definitely, I'm not so much religious, but at least I really sure on god help and mercy. for the who adhere to each religion, of course they faith there’s climax substance (god) that just him who could help for them who obey his order, which is helping each others
“Whoever removes one the difficulties of a believer when in the world, God will remove one from him, trouble in the afterlife. Whoever covers the bad things of a Muslim, God will cover his evil in this world and in the afterlife. God always helps a servant during The servant helps his brother.” ( Al-Hadiths )
If we think clearly, this statement is contrary with the statement “how can we help others problem if we can’t solve ours” but that's the point, we reverse it “we could only solve our problem if we solve others problem” adherent people definitely unique, at the same time, wonderful, they able to help his brother more than themself, even just giving one cent, they believe that “giving” and “given” or “helping” or “helped” is the thing inseparable, or we can say
“If you giving, you would given”
Other pattern, “reprocity essence”, some people would believe that universe would pay their effort (helping people) with solve their problem in such a way.
Ayy…okayy then what are u talkin about?? lets make it easy, truly thing I want to say is “if u want to be given, then give first.”
Previously I said that “helping other’s is helping yourself” lets we discuss it more specific, there's idea called “Altruism.”
Altruism
Discuss about helping, we have to discuss about Altruism, so what kinds of food is it?? nah I'm just joking , ok back to the topic, what is it??
Other description, Altruism is term who describe behavior when someone not kinda care for himself and give benefit or helping to others, and also oriented by other people, so there’s no “selfish” on Altruism.
In Altruism behavior, there’s volunteerism essence without asking for return (same way or some kinds of it) from the someone helped
So, is there anyone like that?? of course, there’s lot around of us, maybe you, maybe me, maybe our friend, maybe our parents, and if u the one of it, be happy, I think everyone would have propensity to helping each other, but the think I would say is “Altruism” equal to “very kind”.
According Myers (2012) there’s some aspect in altruism, that is empathy, believe on social justice, social responsibility, self control, low ego.
So, what someone with altruism got ?? because and this behavior involving empathy feelings, the benefit among others a peace feeling because able to helping others which is affect to physical and mental health ,usually able to make a good relationship and also get support from society
Someone with altruism would get somethings abstract he get from helping others and could lighten his psychological load he feels, maybe stress, maybe some his question not yet answered, or even some problem that giving maybe can solve of it .
But of course, being altruism at some level, have an adverse effect, like be a people pleaser, so altruism must be balanced with life instinct, so as not disserve you.
3. Closing
Control your heart with your logic
