If My Wife Were Black
Published in
2 min readMar 20, 2024
Oh, the pitfalls of interracial marriage. These are some “thangs” we live with.
If my wife were black
There would be more washcloths in the house.
If my wife were black
She wouldn’t have allowed me to take a watermelon to my company picnic.
If my wife were black
She’d remind me to put lotion on my ashy knees.
If my wife were black
She’d know what CP time means.
If my wife were black
We’d never run out of hot sauce.
If my wife were black
Collard greens would cook for more than 20 minutes.
If my wife were black
She would know my gangsta lean wasn’t me trying to fold out a fart.
If my wife were black
She wouldn’t allow me to dance.
If my wife were black
We’d never run out of orange soda.
If my wife were black
ChapStick would be on the grocery list.
If my wife were black
Ham hocks would be used and not get freezer burned.
If my wife were black
She’d know why February is the shortest month.
If my wife were black
She wouldn’t let me wear shorts with white socks and sandals.
If my wife were black
There would be no list.
Note: This is a work in progress.
