In a Rut
On Not Knowing
It’s happened. Faster than I thought it would, too. I’m in a rut.
It’s not a lack of ideas, I have a list of over 50 topics for articles. It’s not a lack of motivation either. I’m perfectly motivated to open up Medium and sit down to write.
It’s a lack of words. I sit down and type out a title, ready to cross another idea off my list, but the blank page never fills. The words and phrases never come.
I have a growing number of drafts. Mostly blank pages, some with a half-baked intro paragraph.
I want to change my direction. I like what I’ve written so far, for the most part, but it’s not what I expected to write about.
I want to write about oddities and strange ideas. I did do that– once –when I took my first stab at Medium in 2022.
Writing that article was so much fun. The research, laying it out, posting it. But no one saw it. It slipped away forever into the void of meaningless internet content. It hurt.
If you look at my profile now, I’m pretty much a cut and dry “self-improvement” writer. Not to knock those who specialize in that arena, but it’s just not me.
Just a few weeks into my second go, and I feel like I’ve already sold out to try to make money. I’ve made a whopping $0.79, which I’m proud of, but what has been the cost?
I think I’ll give up on the idea of money. It shouldn’t be about that, not for me anyway.
You’ll be seeing different content from me going forward. I think that’s the only way out of the rut. I have to put my interests first and leave it to the audience whether they find value.
Thank you.
