The Lonely Chapter of Self-Discovery and Personal Growth
I’m torn between two worlds. Torn between the safety of the old and the promise of the new; Conflicted and isolated in the vast waters that divide these worlds, unsure if I’ll ever find my way home.
I stand on the deck of my boat, in the silence of the open sea. I’m nothing but a wanderer, lost amidst the engulfing waves. I’m surrounded by nothing but water in all directions.
The sun scorches my skin. I shield my eyes, hoping to have a clue of where I might be. But, the horizon laid out before me Is shrouded in mist, leaving me adrift in this watery wilderness.
Alone in this abyss, the creaking sounds of my boat become my only companion as I search for a beacon to guide me. Each wave that crashes against the hull echoes my loneliness, and I can feel the weight of my thoughts pressing upon me.
In this lonely chapter, I am lost. Lost in a world where every decision feels like a gamble.
Before you truly understand my journey, let me illuminate the worlds between which I’m torn — the Old world from which I hail and the New which I’m headed.
The Old World
In this world, comfort is offered like a well-worn blanket on a cold night. People cling tightly to the traditions and the wisdom of generations past. Change is a distant dream. I move, blindfolded to the possibilities that await. Uniqueness is nothing but a whisper in the wind; A rumor told in the dark corridors of a quiet night. Yet, somewhere in my heart, I long for the potential that lies beyond.
The New World
This is a utopia for dreamers of dreams. Curiosity and imagination are the trade currency. In this realm of unprecedented possibilities and unrivaled potential, I dare to challenge the status quo and embrace the unknown with tenacity. In this community of dreamers and doers, peace comes from pushing the boundaries of what’s possible, reaching the pinnacle of one’s potential, and leading an exceptional life.
The Lonely Chapter
As a lone traveler allured by the new world, navigating the passage is a daunting task. Now, I find myself bewildered, stripped of faction, identity, and direction.
This chapter in the journey of self-discovery expresses a period in one’s life surrounded by the feeling of isolation, confusion, and uncertainty.
Let’s say I’m building a self-identity that stands on an impeccable moral discipline. Originally, that would require me to modify my actions to align with such values. As a consequence, unintentionally found myself diverging from my previous circle of self-indulgent friends. This may eventually lead to me being ostracized.
Rejection is okay with me since I’m certain of where I’m headed. Imagine putting all that effort into building a self-identity and still battling with uncertainty, wondering if I’m taking the right step. Or failing to meet my commitments multiple times in a row, wondering if perhaps, it was a stupid idea to think I could be any different.
At this moment, I don’t know who I am. I certainly can’t identify as self-indulgent anymore. Also, I can’t identify as ’disciplined’ without feeling like an impostor. This is an unfamiliar territory and the path ahead of me is shrouded in darkness. Will I ever find my place in this world? Will I ever truly belong?
However, in my quest to find clarity, here’s what I’ve found:
The Two Fundamental Pillar
There are two positions we never want to find ourselves in: not being enough, and not belonging. The feeling of belonging is a biological need for our sanity, and feeling enough is a foundational necessity for self-worth. Without these, we may feel lost and the challenge we face on our path becomes even tougher and trickier to tackle.
We have to feel enough. While the idea of self-improvement may stem from wanting to be more, embracing it as a unique journey of self-discovery becomes helpful. It is in the sense that, every step we take forward is about recognizing more about who we are and unlocking our innate talents and potential. This makes room for continuous learning and refinement.
Feeling enough comes from being authentic; Being authentic is being different. How do you belong when you’re different? Here’s the interesting part, not conforming to any group means you’re non-conformist. Well, that just means you belong to the group of non-conformists — the crazy ones, misfits, rebels, troublemakers, the round pegs in square holes as advertised by Apple. As nature would have it, there’s always a right fit.
A New Perspective
The self-help industry often encourages and reminds us to become better versions of ourselves. The majority of self-help books teach us how we could individually go from A to B but rarely how we could help others do that.
A popular quote that comes to mind is: “If you’re the smartest in the room, you’re in the wrong room”. For cynics, this would mean ditching their tribe for another if they feel like they’re giving more than they’re getting. But this is selfish in the sense that, there will always be a “smartest” person in any given room, and if every one of them embodies that attitude, there will be no room for anyone.
With this thought in mind, I had an epiphany. How about moving forward with others in the room? Helping them grow while actively working on your progress. This is why the most successful people are intentional about helping others.
While moving with others requires extra effort compared to moving alone, it ensures you don’t face challenges alone. Together, you not only go far but also benefit from the support of a trusted tribe. With your tribe by your side, you don’t necessarily need to seek another; they intimately understand your journey.
If you want to go fast, go alone; If you want to go far, go with others.
A simple perspective shift as this brings these two worlds closer than ever.
The Transition
Growth is not always a linear process. We often assume that putting conscious effort into becoming our aspired self is fading from one color to another. This is not always the case. Our old beliefs, attitudes, and behavior are ingrained deeply into our identity and they’re not leaving without a fight; Sometimes we win, and other times, we lose. These setbacks don’t define us but the ability to persevere is what makes the difference.
In the end, I’m still in my lonely chapter, but I’m no longer adrift. After a deep introspection, I’ve found my north star in the unique journey of self-discovery, guiding me onwards to a future of infinite possibilities and endless potential.
Bon Voyage, fellow travelers. The journey may be arduous, but trust me, it’s worth every step.
Remember, you’re never truly alone as long as you continue to navigate with courage and authenticity.
I’m glad you’ve read this far. Thank you for reading. It means so much to me than you’ll ever know.
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