Journaling is Getting Sacrificed to the Medium Gods and It’s a Huge Bummer
I wish I could keep both darlings. Unfortunately, one’s gotta go.
I used to journal every day. It was a nice relaxing part of my day where I could turn off my brain and sort of release whatever was going on in my mind.
It was a time where I could both speak my mind about whatever I wanted without any fear of judgement because the only person who would see it is me. A place where grammar do not matter, where spelling could be awefull. I could write and never have to look back and double check anything because the only thing that mattered was getting out ideas.
I could write about story ideas I had. Character arcs in my novel that weren’t working. Beats that I needed to flesh out.
I could write about personal things that happened in my life. Struggles that were going on in the day. The minutia of day to day life.
And now Medium has replaced journaling and I kinda hate it.
Medium is a journal. Well, kind of.
I can still write about whatever I want of course, Medium does not have any restrictions that are limiting what I want to write about.
The problem is it is now a journal that people would read. It is a platform where I can write whatever I want with the asterisk that I will be judged for it.
Most of what I write still has ‘journal’ elements to it. I mostly write about a topic that has been on my mind and want to explore. Things such as finding my face wrinkle for the first time or my weight-loss journey. Things that are very personal and I would not normally share with the world.
Or sometimes more macro topics that are on my mind, such as the problems with corporations in America.
But while these things would have definitely found their way into a journal, it isn’t quite the same feel. Everything is spellchecked. I go back and re-read everything and edit it down. I cut the fat and have to make sure things I am not overly repeating myself.
I find myself pausing a lot more in between sentences, trying to figure out how I want to word it before writing. As opposed to a journal where I can just write and not care about how it comes out.
And while it makes for a cleaner story, it does cut the creative flow a bit.
Everything is now curated
I can still write about whatever I want of course, Medium does not have any restrictions that are limiting what I want to write about.
But I still need to choose what I am ‘journaling’ about. While Medium would not be upset if I wrote about how I microwaved my lunch today, the readers would certainly feel like I wasted their time. Nobody wants to hear about how I forgot my quarters when I went to the laundromat. The mundane day-to-day is no longer written.
So often do I think about something I want to write about, but then stop myself because I realize it is not interesting enough. That it is something that would not grab people. And even if it did, there is no real point to the story.
I now have to write with an audience in mind. I have to make sure that what I am writing is at least somewhat interesting, and somehow make my mundane thoughts into something that is worth hearing about. Something that people can read.
Dividing the story into sections, keeping things readable, keep paragraphs short, evaluating how long the story should be. All things that have to be considered on this platform.
Because now there is now judgement from others. Not to say anybody here is judgemental, but it is still this restriction that I feel. A journal is free-flowing, there is a bliss in accessing whatever thought grabs your mind and letting it flow out. But I can guarantee not all of those thoughts are completely pure. There are way more entries about me taking a dump than I would care to admit.
Speaking of, I no longer write about things I deem too personal. In a journal I can write about anything I want. I can write about myself, about friends and family. I can talk shit about that asshole I met and the evil things I want to do to him. While I know that those thoughts are just thoughts, if I wrote them out for people to read, it might raise some eyebrows.
When writing on Medium I have to evaluate whether or not it is appropriate. If a friend tells me her vagina has a fungal infection, its not my place to air out her dirty laundry. There is nuance in deciding what to share.
Medium has its upsides too
Not to say that Medium is all bad. There is something to actually putting in effort to making something readable, as opposed to the diarrhea I spill onto the page when I am journaling.
I enjoy the process of trying to figure out the title. Trying to make it something that people want to click on, but not resorting to what would be considered clickbait. That balance of truth of what the story is about without making it sound dull.
I enjoy that people may actually read and even enjoy my writing. I enjoy the feedback I get on stories, and I enjoy seeing the stats of what stories to well and which don’t. I love going back to stories that tank and evaluating why they did bad. There is something oddly nice about a ‘journal’ with feedback.
So… Solution?
There is no great and easy solution to this problem. At least not one that I can come up with.
I could do both of course, but who has the time for that. To journal, and write on Medium, and work on a novel? That is a bit much. Maybe somebody greater and time management could do it, but I would be struggling.
One of the two must be sacrificed, and for now it seems like it is going to have to be the journal.
It really does bum me out, I wish I could keep flirting with both. Unfortunately for my journal, Medium is the new and exciting darling, and she is willing to do the weird stuff my journal was too prudish to try out. We will see if I regret my choice and come back to journaling eventually.
