Magic of Language
Name it, to tame it
Language is as old as human beings themselves. Communication is essential for personal and collective well-being, and people cannot survive without it. In this article, I would like to focus on the role of verbal communication in our personal lives, from childhood to adulthood.
When babies are born, they have an innate ability to learn and understand the complex rules of language. However, until they become eloquent, they tend to express their emotions and thoughts mainly through body language, by pointing, crying, or whining.
The left brain is responsible for language development, while the right brain processes emotions and reactions. During the first three years of a child’s life, the right brain is dominant, making it difficult for them to express their emotions verbally, which may result in tantrums. Adults play a significant role in helping children connect the left and right brain by using storytelling to help them express their emotions. The more children convey and understand their feelings, the calmer they grow.
As a mother of two children, I often find myself overwhelmed by their rollercoasters at home. You can’t imagine how easily they find excuses to complain. To give you a better idea, whenever my daughter loses a board game that we usually play, her emotions start to flare up. I can see the frustration building up in her eyes, and she begins to say things like, “I don’t like this game. I always lose. No one helps me to make my job easier…”. Whenever I try to respond to her logically, we often end up having a mommy-daughter tantrum. So, to handle these situations better, I remind myself of a simple rule: “Name it to tame it.” I try to connect with my children emotionally and encourage them to retell their stories again and again. The more they put their feelings into words, the better they feel. I like to think of it as them surfing on a board of communication over their emotional waves.
The rule of thumb “name-it-to-tame-it” works for people of all ages. When someone is overwhelmed with emotions, trying to use logical reasoning usually doesn’t help. The best approach is to engage with their emotions and help them express their feelings in words, which helps them integrate their right and left brains. Only then will you see the emotions calm down, leading to a nice balance in their thoughts.
One of the most fundamental needs we have in life is to be truly understood. It’s rare to find a friend who can actively listen to what we have to say without any judgment and respond in a way that shows they truly relate to us. However, once we do find someone who can connect with us emotionally in this way, we feel a sense of belonging and comfort that is hard to find elsewhere.
To have a high-quality relationship, it’s important to know how to use language effectively. This means actively listening to the other person instead of preparing responses in your head or rushing to answer. Be present in the moment and allow the other person to express themselves fully, connecting their emotions with their words. Be a kind and supportive listener, like a therapist, for your loved ones, as everyone needs someone to talk to. By setting a good example of active listening, you can expect others to do the same for you in return, especially during difficult times when you need it most.
I wrote this piece for myself. I will be overjoyed to hear if it has touched your heart and mind as well as mine. Thanks for reading!
I write to ‘shrink’ the life issues on this healing journey. Join me!
