Societal Pressure Make One Do The Unthinkable.
Imagine this: there is a boy we’ll call ‘Jonathan.’ Let’s just say he’s unattractive or below average in appearance, just standard. Almost everything around him is involved in romantic relationships, be it hollow or not. Not everyone, I mean everything! Even birds, cats, and rats are mating. For one or a couple of years, he could cope with it, saying he doesn’t need that or convincing himself that everyone has someone; it’s just a matter of time. He keeps coping until he can’t anymore. How does he feel? He feels insecure, judged for not having a girlfriend, and he feels like an outcast for not being able to fulfill the ‘normality.’ Then what does he do? He tries to fulfill that ‘normality.’ He becomes self-obsessed, focusing on skincare and facial care. After some time, he actively asks out girls, but they keep rejecting him. He’s treated like a bug, slapped like a creep, and worse, he’s only used for his attention by the girls. Poor Jonathan, what does he feel now? He feels even more humiliated, like a subhuman, not normal. He hates himself, disgusted with the way he was born. He shatters the mirror because he doesn’t like his own reflection. He then starts engaging in self-destructive behavior, self-harming, and detaching himself from everything in this cursed world. Eventually, at some point, he slips into something that can’t be fully understood; madness, or rage? I don’t know. He laughs so hard now, takes a 9-inch knife from his kitchen, and runs outside. He stabs and kills a couple of lovebirds. When the cops arrive and tell him to put his knife down, he charges at them, resulting in his death from being shot by the cops.
Let’s abhor his crime towards his victims, but don’t judge his feelings although it doesn’t justify his later action. Call him incel, virgin, or anything, judging his feelings is not helping. He could be lack of affection, probably his parents is divorced or dead so he doesn’t have figures, or worse he’s neglected that’s why. ‘’Bro he’s just jealous!’’ Hey maybe you’re right! Seeing anyone happy just reminded him how pathetic he is. “Just because he suffer doesn’t mean I’m not allowed to be happy!” Again, maybe you’re right. Jonathan is misunderstood, he’s not crazy because someone else is happy, he might be crazy because he endures from what happened to him. This pressure is indirect. Now let’s see the direct one:
Imagine there is a boy at a party. He sees a big slug. Everyone at the party now sees it too. Maybe some people at the party dared him to eat the slug alive. The boy, still drunk under the influence of alcohol with that young teenage bravado, swallows the entire slimy creature. What happens next? Eight years later, he dies after almost two years in a coma and paralyzed. Oh yeah, this actually happened, by the way. Real story.
Scary yeah? From Jonathan and Sam story we know how powerful and unforgiving the societal pressure is. There is plenty more of proof and stories about this, I might give another when I want.
Personal Experience
Now, what if I told you that Jonathan’s story is partly based on my own experience? Aside from the crime and some parts of it, I did feel the effects of the pressure, I did feel insecure about myself. Thank God I still managed it. Keep in mind, societal pressure can come from anywhere and cannot be escaped. You can run and avoid it, only to be pissed again when you meet them. Apart from these hollow relationships, there is also other pressure that demands me to fit in with certain people. Another example I’ve seen is from someone I know; for privacy, I wouldn’t mention their name. The example is like after Ramadan, we have Eid al-Fitr; relatives, families, and even barely known neighbors keep asking that one pressure question, ‘’When are you going to get married?’’ or ‘’When are you going to have kids?’’ or even funnier, ‘’My cousin bought a house. When are you going to buy a house?’’ Like, oh dear, shut up.
Pros And Cons
For me, personally, everything that persists has a little bit of good. I’m not going to lie, it’s still bad but not all bad. It’s like 5%-10% good, and I’m being generous. The pros are: increasing efforts, keeping the world moving forward, and making humans think about everything. Let me break it down briefly.
- Increasing effort: Man would do their best; employees would work and study harder because societal pressure demands useful workers.
- Keeping the world moving forward: I can’t believe I would say this. Yeah, humans wouldn’t easily be satisfied; there are always new needs and upgrades around the world. A country’s leader wouldn’t do something without societal pressure demanding something, maybe a cure for a disease or stepping down because they aren’t satisfied with his leadership.
- Making humans think about everything: I don’t think I need to explain this one. Here are three clues: philosophy, politics, and judgment.
Here are the cons: unstable, often flawed, getting worse and worse.
- Unstable: Human perception and mind are terrifying; societal pressure is unstable and contagious. What I mean by unstable is some people would do anything to achieve and fulfill what is pressured or dared, including harmful or vile activities.
- Often flawed: It doesn’t make sense; some are too demanding or overwhelming or both. It lowers your self-esteem, is dangerous to your mental health because you’re never ‘good’ at fulfilling it. Sometimes it makes you doubt yourself, insecure about something you can’t change.
- Getting worse and worse: Like a video game, societal pressure does have upgrades as time goes by. Back in the day, young adults were pressured for ‘better life’ expectations; then teenagers were pressured for ‘better future’ expectations; now, kids are pressured for ‘bettering the world, lifting their family, country, literally everything’ expectations from their parents’ generation that despise and hate their kids’ generation! Both direct and indirect pressure, due to social media’s role. I’m not surprised these days kids are committing suicide, and I certainly will not be surprised if the next generation is expected to fix the Milky Way.
Solution?
I don’t have a real solution on how to completely eradicate societal pressure from the earth or make it better and transform it into a positive force. But from my experience, I have found ways to at least not let it become too overwhelming. What are they? Coping mechanisms, a ‘don’t care’ attitude, and a touch of delusion. Yes, you read that right. Cope with something positive, remember that only God doesn’t expect too much from you! Pray, have a pet, and avoid societal pressure. Always fulfill what you want and what you should. If it’s what you want, it’s not societal pressure. If it’s what you should fulfill, learn to accept it and go. Delusion can be helpful; delude yourself, but don’t overdo it. Find ways to make your delusions come to reality.
A ‘don’t care’ attitude doesn’t mean you should always let things slide. I mean this by ignoring the pain and pressure and not letting it poison you. It’s hard, but it’s the real inner battle within you.
Conclusion
It’s truly exhausting, not physically, but all humans, especially men, face this often, if not always, at some point. It’s impossible to hide from; you can run, but it will always come back. We are not always the victims; we can become the bad guys as well, at some point responsible for or fueling societal pressure and alienation, both directly and indirectly. To close, I will include a couple of pictures from movies that can be considered the face of this essay. Thank you for reading!
