Undo

Why Not Me?

Don’t give up on us

Leigh-Ann Steenkamp
Wake. Write. Win.

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A close-up of a large pink and yellow Protea with dark green leaves in the background
Author Photography: Protea Queen

The macabre, gruesome, horrifying and most unsuitable (13)

A slight smile
Curling around the edges
Shake of the head
To douse the flame

Nod nose twitch
Nervous tic
You are not really here
Not enough

Not for long enough
To breathe me in
Burn
Tic tic

Stay still while I watch you
Drink you in
Relax
While I untie the knots

Don’t move please stay
At least for a little while
Then maybe I will
Let you go

Stay calm
Close your eyes
While I touch you gently
We want you

To remember
To stop being
So absent-minded
To not be afraid of anything

There is nothing
To worry about
I am here
To stop the burning

I don’t feel too good
Right now
I’m doing the best I can
I will make you remember

While I play
My games
Why not me?
I can be like her

Put a blonde wig on
Croon love songs to you
Look into my eyes
And tell me what you see

I am right here
Where I am
What now?
Don’t give up on us

On me
Remember the dream
Fantasies of the seemingly impossible
I always wanted it all

No compromise
You should stop now
Stop apologizing
Screaming struggling

The knots are only getting tighter
I can’t be different enough
So that you can feel better
For very long

What was her name?
Did you say it
With your last breath
Or did it die

In your throat
All burnt up
It was you
It never was me

A black silhouette of the skyline with a mountain and trees as the sun is setting in a bright yellow sky and some cloud cover
Author Photography: Sky On Fire

Personal Note:

I try to limit my darker fantasies as I run the risk of getting caught up in them, falling in the rabbit hole with no easy way out. When I have been good for a while I may reward myself with a couple of daydreams.

Dumelang bohle!!! African Greetings!!! Please support me so I can continue to do what makes my spirit feel alive and feeds my soul; and that is to express myself through words and photos every day.

Ko-Fi

https://ko-fi.com/leighannsteenkamp

I do not currently qualify for the Medium Partner Program due to country location; South Africa.

A collage compiled to showcase outreach work initiatives in local community
A collage created by the author on Canva: Outreach Work

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Leigh-Ann Steenkamp
Wake. Write. Win.

Author, Photographer. I specialize in Creative Writing and Storytelling with an emphasis on Mental Health, Philosophy, Trauma, Abuse, Psychology and Crime.