What comes after Happily Ever After?

“What comes after Happily Ever After?”, I asked after taking a sip of my piping hot green tea.

We sat on the stone bench behind the holiday home, overlooking the valley.

Dusk was paving way for the night painting everything in shades of grey. It was freezing cold.

He was a 40-something-year-old man with a scruffy grey stubble and long hair tied back.

From meeting new people, destinations we’d seen, our conversation eventually veered into the space of lost love.

“That’s an interesting question” he said lighting his cigarette and took a deep puff.

“An important one!”, I replied

“Well I can talk about mine”, he said scratching his lower lip with his thumb.

Staring into the valley, he seemed to be reliving a private moment in his head.

I waited for him to continue.

“9 months after we parted ways, we bumped into each other again after no contact.

I was out for a short stroll and had to finish a few work calls dressed in haggard clothes.

As I was about to cross a road, I noticed a familiar face on the other side — It was her

Instantly, all of the memories I had bottled within came flooding back in my brain, my heart started beating faster and I felt a cold ice drop in my belly.

I froze on the spot. Across the road, I saw her throwing me an expressionless glance.

She must have felt the same , maybe less or more, I couldn’t say.

I was still young and naive, and there was a part of me that still cared a little more for her.

During the initial days of our break up, I would often fantasise about the moment we would come face to face again — What would I do, what would I say ?

Something hurtful, or something prophetic to flaunt how I’ve emotionally healed.

Neither of us took a step towards each other but our eyes held each others gaze.

Many things had been left unsaid, so many things I would have loved to say to her, incidents I knew would make her laugh, make her smile — some reaction

Would you like to come back home?

What have you been up to all this time?

Questions and questions.

Sucking in a shallow breath, with my heart pounding in my chest, I made my way towards her.

Palms sweaty, belly caving in, the bile threatening to come out — But I held myself together, mustering all the confidence I possibly could at that moment.

Just as I was a few feet away from her it hit me like a hard punch in the gut — Her smile.

It was the one she’d flash at strangers out of courtesy, not love.

That said it all.

The string that had once bound us together was broken forever.

Nothing could bring it back to it’s original state.

I did not stop, nor tell her the thousand things in my head.

She was waiting for me to say something, but I smiled — it held everything I felt for her, and she looked down.

That was it.

So what eventually happens after happily ever after is — you let go”