The Age of No Empathy
Maybe it’s just me, but does anyone else feel like there is an empathy crisis happening in our world right now? As someone that has always been dripping with empathy-probably a bit too much-I am baffled by how little of it I see on a daily basis.
I hear about it daily in the stories my middle schooler and her friends tell me. Kids say things both online and in person that are so extremely hurtful. When they find out what hits home with one of their peers-if they can bring tears-they have won. That feeds the endless cycle-cruelty, tears, more cruelty-until they tire and move on to the next victim. Although middle school has always been a hard time with everyone trying to figure out who they are and where they belong, I don’t recall the bloodthirst for causing pain that I’m witnessing now. These kids are ruthless and they will uncover the most vulnerable and tender topics-anything from dead parents, body shaming, suicide- you name it, they will go after it. They tell other kids to go kill themselves as casually as they’d tell them they have a hole in their jeans.
The lack of empathy is becoming more and more embedded in our culture. Our so called leaders’ best strategy is to dehumanize opponents and everyone that doesn’t agree with them. They namecall, the hit below the belt, they make fun of things people can’t help. They treat those that don’t agree with contempt and a lack of human respect. I’m baffled by how we, as a society, are just okay with it. We don’t call out leaders when they’re out of line. We accept this dehumanization of others and in many cases we laugh it off or join in.
Social media is the absolute worst place for lack of empathy. The cloak of anonymity makes people bold. Maybe it’s because we don’t have to look into the eyes of the person we are critiquing, tearing down, causing pain for. Maybe it’s because it’s easy to go along with the crowd when there is ZERO accountability for what we say. Many times it’s even applauded. Social media can really highlight the very worst of ourselves. The selves that forget that there are real people on the other side of our hurtful words. The selves that don’t have to stand up and defend their cruelty or be held accountable in any way.
If you need evidence of the general lack of empathy in our society, just turn on the news for five minutes. You will inevitably find stories of abuse, violence, destruction. You will see the talking heads on all sides of the coin making grand statements, trying to elicit strong emotions from their audience. The best selling emotions seem to be anger, frustration, the idea of being duped by those in power. This is a strategy that works. The news networks know that reporting feel good stories don’t elicit strong enough reactions, so they feed into what sells. Negativity, with no regard to the collateral damage of real people with real lives that stand in the way. The more sensational, the better. If we can dehumanize others, we can separate our humanity and the anger can be fueled into a big enough fire that it can turn into an angry mob. Angry mobs sell. Peace is boring.
Although this all sounds very bleak, I don’t believe empathy is a lost cause. In my day to day life, I encounter so many altruistic people that truly want to help others and really feel for others. I know it’s there. It’s just not encouraged. If you show empathy, you are labeled as a “bleeding heart” or “weak”. If you feel empathy, life can hurt. Lack of empathy is almost a defense mechanism- “if I don’t feel their pain, it’s easier to move on”, “If i don’t think about the impact this might have on them, I can take the path of least resistance.” It’s easier to smother our feelings of compassion and empathy, than to dig deep and stand up against the crowd.
Getting in touch with our basic humanness is not weak. Empathy is important, even vital, to survival of our society. It’s what allows us to work together to keep our society safe, humane, and free. If we lose it, we have lost part of what makes us human, and that is not a world any of us want.
