Your personality isn’t a real thing.
This is for those who hate your personality. Also for those who hate other’s ‘personality’.
Ah, personality. The apparent person within a body. We all have a ‘personality’, don’t we? I’m here to tell you why it’s not real. (Wait for it.)
As usual we go to the dictionary,
I don’t necessarily agree with this definition.
“What does a personality mean?”
But you knew that, did you not? Here’s where it gets good.
Now, the reason why I say that ‘personality’ isn’t a real thing is because lately, people have used this word to be a scapegoat for a lot of unhealthy things.
Most people mistake personality for poor control over decision making.
I’ll give you an example,
Personality is: —
“I like listening to math rock, instead of hip hop. I like it, you should try it.” That’s personality, a characteristic.
What personality isn’t, is: —
“I don’t like ‘X’ people, they’re annoying.”
If you are intuitive enough (or if you read the first part carefully), you’d understand that one is a statement of self-observation and the other is an excuse.
Now for the crux of my ‘opinion’; most people blame their personality for being a terrible person.
“Your personality isn’t ‘crass’, you’re just an insensitive, rude person.”
Most people in this generation have a terrible opinion of others without even getting to know them.
Why? Because they have a poor control over any reasoning. They go on to have self-worth issues, project it on others, behave rudely and blame personality, “Oh, I’m an introvert”, “Oh, I just hate people.”
So, how do I define a personality?
A personality is something that technically CANNOT be changed through brute force. All different personality is SUPPOSED to be healthy.
Example:
There was a point in my life where I believed it was just my personality that made me want to stay away from people. To keep them at a distance. That was my poor judgements. My personality is yes, I may be a tad bit more abstract and eccentric thinker than they are, making it hard to fit in, but that lack of welcome from ’normal’ people, made me believe my ‘personality’ is something they never liked, something they never respected. Turns out, I just never allowed them to be them, was never patient with them, never understood that they don’t HAVE to understand me, and I’ll be fine.
True Personality: Abstract, eccentric.
Excuse: Unappealing, abnormal, disapproving.
(obviously there’s a lot more context to my hate, but that’s for another time (shhhh).)
Now, what is the main issue here?
It’s a Heart issue.
A hardened heart. An impatient heart. That is our biggest critic, against others and ourselves. Kill that critic. We need to be kind, just like the King is kind, and along that path you’ll find that your real personality is just A-okay, because its just a synonym for character.
Don’t hate your character, instead of fixing your internal voice.
Don’t let your assumptions make you hate your character; your personality.
I talk to people a lot more now, no need for fakey fake personae, it works. Don’t let your ‘personality’ be a crutch for basic human skills, to be patient with people and understand that we are all different and that’s fine.
The flip side is also true though, what most people mistake for bad personality is just a hardened heart.
“What YOU perceive, shouldn’t affect your decisions.”
-Karthik Harshavardhan.
Don’t blame someone’s personality because its their very essence, like their fingerprint. Just understand that they have a hard time to be okay with being vulnerable. Being patient might help them come out of it.
The world is gray, it makes it easy to forgive others, by a slight bit at least and a lot easier to open yourself up to love.
Stay flexy! (stretch)
