Am I having a midlife crisis or am I just a college student?
Within a span of 30 minutes, I experienced a self-reflection of my entire life. Observing others ended up being an observation of myself. Sitting in a public park for this short of a period I was able to witness my life. From the life stages of early childhood to the stage of aging, I was able to reflect on it all.
It is a Monday in early autumn, the leaves are slowly falling onto the sidewalks of Lincoln Park. The smell of autumn is significant; the chilly wind makes it smell fresh in a way. Fall has always been my favorite season not because of the lattes or corduroy jeans I get to wear. But because it is the season of change. For this week’s walk I decided to sit and observe in Jonquil Park. It is a small neighborhood park that the residents of Lincoln Park have multiple uses for. During these 30 minutes I witnessed a children’s party, people playing tennis, strangers journaling, and many dog walkers.
It is about 1:18 pm when I first sit down in the park, I am near a kids Birthday Party. There are kids running around and their laughs are filled with joy and freedom. I remember being their age and running through the park with my arms swaying in the air. I have my music turned low so I can listen to my surroundings, three of the boys from the party sit across from me on the pavement. One goes “Why is she alone?” the other goes “Stop starring.” It is funny how as kids we are so observant of strangers but somehow in the middle of growing up, we lose that trait. We no longer want to observe or take a moment to think of the person we see in the park for a split second.
Across from the party there are many people playing tennis. Mostly couples who share the love for the same hobby. They are happy, screaming competitive sayings to each other. A woman tells her partner “I am letting you win” he says something snarky I am assuming because she started to play a lot better than before.
Near the tennis court, I see an older man who is in his late 60s. He is journaling or doing some sort of reading I cannot tell. But he seems at peace in the sunlight by all the trees enjoying a moment to himself. A few moments later a girl who is about my age goes to sit down by the trees. She is wearing the cutest sweater; I want to ask her wear she got it from, but she wants some alone time, so I respect that. It is interesting how these two complete strangers who are both using the park for personal rest do not even acknowledge or see each other. The point I am trying to make is that in public spaces someone can be 10 feet away from you going/doing the same thing you are. And you will never meet or acknowledge who that person was.
Throughout the time I have been sitting here there have been so many dog walkers passing through. When I first arrived, I noticed Two bikers crossing into the park with the cutest German Shepeard puppy in their backpack. They went into the field and let him run around free as they sat and talked. As time went on so many dog owners let their dogs run around the field, they set the entire tone for the park itself. A place where you are free to do what your heart desires.
A public space is something that individuals use for their personal agendas. It is a place where strangers share the same ideas but never notice one another, a place where friendships are just being made and even a place that can define one’s life memory.
As I am starting to pack up to leave, I notice on the pavement there are “In memory of” engraved stones along the path. Showing that this place has meant something for people beyond what I have observed today. Leaving the park, I felt an overwhelming feeling of anxiety and for the longest time I could not understand why. It was not until I sat down to write this and had come to the realization of what observing had become for me. I started by seeing children live freely, someone my own age taking a break from their reality much like what I do. Then grownups in relationships looking like they have their life figured out, an old man alone journaling and then memorial engravements. It took me only 30 minutes to see life from beginning to end, I had questioned early why we no longer observe strangers. And the conclusion I am starting to come to is that it is scary to observe someone else’s life because we might reflect on the flaws of our own. Or it could be simple, and it could be that we just do not care but, I like my idea better.
Those feelings of anxiety I was feeling were extremely valid, I am going through one of the most defining chapters in my life. But being a college student does not mean I need to have a midlife crisis of what I am going to do with my life every other week.
MAP
Public Art Reading Reflection
Public art creates a community’s overall aesthetic of what their historical meanings, values, and beauty are. In a way it is attributed to Malchik’s idea of “What we’re imagining, though, is not some idealized 1950s suburban lifestyle, but a sense of connection that lies at the heart of our evolutionary history” (Malchik 42). Meaning, in a community it is essential that the history and resemblance is exposed within the community. Public Art is a beautiful way to express the history and culture of one’s community. Some examples are neighborhoods like Pilsen, Wicker Park, Wrigleyville, and Logan Square. Within these neighborhoods the culture and pride of the residents is exposed immensely through public art. Social Capitol is built through these representations because it invites people into these communities to learn what type of environment the community has built for themselves. One thing I can relate to public art being a form of political activism is when in 2020 there were multiple Black Lives Matter murals around the city. Specifically in neighborhoods like Uptown, Andersonville, and Englewood. During that specific period Chicago neighborhoods were trying their best to unite against higher politicians.
