What Walking Has Taught Me

My Video: https://vimeo.com/754605400

My hometown, Bloomfield Hills, Michigan, was referred to as ‘The Bloomfield Bubble’. I would see the same people everyday, go to the same stores, and my routine was clearly outlined, making every day basically the same. Being 20 minutes away from Detroit didn’t mean anything to me. I rarely visited anything that was outside of the bubble because it was unfamiliar. That’s what drew me to Depaul; Chicago specifically. The unknown. I knew I needed to branch out of the box I held myself in to see what life is like in a new space. Being comfortable is good and healthy, but being too comfortable can hold you back from growing. When I told my family that I would attend college in Chicago, I received a lot of ‘congratulations’ accompanied by ‘you better be safe out there’. My whole family was very supportive, but they couldn’t help inserting their fears and concerns onto me. Coming to Chicago, I internalized those fears subconsciously, and I constantly held my guard up. Back at home, walking was an outlet for me. Whenever I was stressed or just needed a moment alone, I would pop in my headphones, step outside, and walk down my favorite trails. It was a way to relax, and I was worried that once I arrived in Chicago, my love for walking would change. My main concern was that I would never be able to walk peacefully because my family stressed how important it was to stay alert and be aware of people around me. Also, the unfamiliarity meant that if something bad did ever happen, I wouldn’t have an escape plan prepared.

Then Immersion Week came, and I was thrown into a new world. Everyday we traveled to a new location and learned about the history of that area. Our first adventure using the El was such a step out of my comfort zone. Being surrounded by that many people on a train was definitely something I had to get used to. While riding to our destination, I remember internally panicking because I was so confused on how to know what stop to get off at. There was so much commotion, people talking, yelling, and the robotic voice calling out the names of the stops. It was all so forieign to me, and I remember feeling so afraid of the idea that I would ever have to take the train by myself. But, this thought was drowned out by the sound of my peers rushing out the door, and I hurried to catch up. Our first spot we explored was the top of the John Hancock building. From the top of the Hancock building, the city went on for miles and you could see the grid-like structure of the city. Up there, it was quiet, silent almost. The bustle of the city didn’t follow me up the elevator, instead, I was able to peacefully sit and analyze Chicago from a birds eye view. Although the vastness of the city was daunting, it was also comforting to be able to see the city was organized in a way that looked learnable. The streets intersected in a pattern, and I felt my anxieties fizzle away because the city looked easier to understand. Once we made it back on the ground, we walked through Gold Coast and Old Town. Two neighborhoods, not too far apart, yet they were so different from each other. Gold Coast was one of my favorite places we visited because the buildings were grand with detailed architecture, pristine landscaping, and fancy people walking their fancy dogs. Every building seemed to have its own story behind it, they were filled with ghosts of the past, and the history showed itself through its infrastructure. Then, a couple blocks away was Old Town, a lively, trendy, restaurant-filled street. Old Town was more upbeat with every type of person walking down the sidewalk, smiling. I found the juxtaposition refreshing because nearly every step you take is different. This opened my eyes to the fact that there are so many unique communities everywhere you go, so you are bound to find a place where you belong.

Once I got a taste of what Chicago was like, I couldn’t wait to see what else was in store. The rest of the week was full of adventure as we traveled to unique neighborhoods, some of my favorites being Pilsen, Wicker Park, and Oz Park. Each place was unique and distinct from the last. It made me realize how large Chicago actually is and how it is so much more than downtown. Seeing how everyone formed their own communities in this large city was comforting. My fear turned into excitement for the future and the unknown. Even though it can be frightening, it is a challenge I now feel prepared to take on.

After immersion week, it was time to adventure on my own. As I walked I remembered what the public safety officer said during orientation: “Don’t look like a tourist”. This was a difficult adjustment for me because Google Maps is my only form of navigation. In Giles Turnball’s, ‘Handheld Time Machines’ he says, “The modern explorer has it all. Every gadget you can think of combined into a pocket-sized smartphone. There’s no need to be lost, or lonely, anywhere.” Directions are not my forte, but I tried my best to disconnect and act like a citizen. Walking like a citizen is important not only to your safety in the city, but also to the respect you receive from locals. Anywhere you go, locals normally make their dislike known to tourists because they feel that they are invading their space. The same goes for Chicago, and if you walk like a tourist you can be seen as vulnerable and an easy target. Walking like a citizen through the city means to carry yourself with confidence and act like you know where you’re going. One of the most important things I’ve learned since being here is to not be afraid of getting lost. In Solnit’s “Paris, or Botanzing the Asphalt,” she quotes Walter Benjamin who writes, “But to lose oneself in a city — as one loses oneself in a forest — that calls for a quite a different schooling” (p. 255). The art of losing yourself takes practice because it can be difficult to let your guard down and wander with no set destination. While doing my weekly walks for this course, I progressively mastered this art. When you let go of your anxieties, and allow yourself to explore you end up seeing the beauty in the city, and you learn a lot about yourself. Everything becomes an art piece and you have so much more appreciation for the things around you. A walk can tell you a lot about the area you are in, but also a lot about yourself. What are you drawn to and why? What peaks your interest that you may have never thought about before? But this can also be a tainted lens. When you dig deeper, you notice the issues of the city. The homelessness, the trash, the pollution is all around us and it makes you question yourself. Questions like, am I doing enough to help this situation? It’s conflicting, but it’s good to have a balance of the two to be aware.

Walking in the city as a young woman has its downsides, like getting catcalled, being creepily stared at, and other harassment. But honestly, my experience hasn’t been the nightmare that my family warned me about. Staying aware of my surroundings, not being on my phone, and walking in groups at night has kept me safe and made me feel comfortable enough to walk around the city. In Kathleen Rooney’s article, ‘It is Not a Waste, All This…’, she states, “The city is dangerous and cannot be trusted is something you are told all the time because somebody benefits by having you think that.” I have come to understand that instilling fear in women in the city controls where women go, how women dress, what time of day women go out, and this, in turn, allows men to hold power over women. Rooney continues, “Because of their capacity to encourage frequent serendipitous interaction between large numbers of extremely diverse people, cities have always been engines of radical social change. Fear slows the engine.” Chicago is a mixing pot of people from every walk of life, and instead of viewing it as a scary thing, we should be viewing it as a remarkable thing. Instead of being scared of one another, we should work to understand each other.

Now, walking has become a part of my daily routine. I walk to get to classes, the grocery store, and just around Lincoln Park when I want to relax. It seems small, but when I first moved here, I thought it would be impossible to understand the city, and now I feel like I have conquered it. My new knowledge was put to the test during parents weekend when they asked me to show them around. I took them to Wicker Park, one of my favorite places so far, and navigated us through the town on my own. I was proud of how much I have grown over a month and a half, but I was more proud that they were there to witness my growth. They were able to see that I am able to carry my own through Chicago, and I think that put their minds at ease. The places I’ve been and the people I have met so far have changed my life in the best way possible. I am forever grateful for choosing Chicago, and although there is much more to learn, I am happy to say that I can now call Chicago my home.