This beauty-based praise of girls feeds the cancer.

No matter how well intended, it seems it only serves to condition girls to identify as their looks, and additionally their looks as defined and measured by others. There’s all kinds of research on praise in general that shows false, often empty/insubstantial praise fosters all kinds of ill effects. Praise that works is that which provides specific feedback on things that the person has control over and that does not encourage comparison to others.

I call my daughter beautiful all the time, but I expand upon it to help define what I hope is a more holistic view of beauty, such as, “Your beautiful spirit shows through when you play with So-and-so, and you find a kind way to tell her what you do and don’t like to play, especially when you disagree.”

As with other social justice issues, it takes time, it takes a movement, and that movement takes all who see it for what it is to think, speak, and act accordingly.

Thanks for responding.