The Chinese People’s Liberation Army has nearly one million combat troops in Canada and Mexico. It has a network of bases throughout North America, flies military transport aircraft over southern California at night and is preparing for the eventual takeover of America.

Worst of all, the perfidious Pres. Barack Hussein Obama, in a stunning act of treachery, has given permission to the People’s Republic of China to attack.

Is this fiction some sort of take on the Red Dawn movies? Is it some feverish right-wing dream? Or just complete and utter bullshit.

On the contrary, some would argue, this is the honest-to-God truth. Maybe. They’re not personally sold on it 100 percent. But the evidence is pretty interesting. It’s something to think about. Hey, it’s just what they were told.

Troops of the Warsaw Pact, goon squad of the New World Order. Via militaryphotos.net

New World Order

During the 1990s, there were persistent rumors that the United Nations, in cahoots with then-Pres. Bill Clinton, was readying a takeover of America in order to fulfill the promise of the New World Order.

The Federal Emergency Management Agency was building concentration camps in states like Colorado, Wyoming and Alabama for “undesirables.” Millions of body bags were being stockpiled at these camps for those deemed incompatible with America’s new overlords.

Enforcing the New World Order would be the armies of the former Warsaw Pact: Russians, Ukrainians, Czechs, Poles and other heartless enemies of freedom that were either in the United States for “military exercises” or secretly snuck en masse into the country.

They even brought their crappy armored vehicles with them: I was once told that someone—unnamed but credible—had seen Soviet-made BRDM armored cars in Colorado during an exercise to simulate the rounding up of American citizens.

The takeover of America was going to happen “any day now.”

Hu Jintao comes to visit … before his army comes to stay. White House photo

China and Obama

Fast forward to 2013. The foreign takeover never happened, right? Wrong. It was just delayed. Invasion and occupation is still imminent.

China, the story goes, has built military bases in Mexico—and in Canada, as well, according to some. The reasoning for this varies, but it’s usually so that China could launch a surprise invasion of America when the opportunity presents itself. When America defaults on its debt and the economy crashes, the U.S. military will disintegrate and the People’s Liberation Army will stream in and take over.

A more mild version of the story is that the invasion force is an asymmetric response to American forces in the Asia-Pacific. Should the Americans try to intervene in a Chinese invasion of Taiwan, the Chinese could counter by attacking the United States directly.

Admittedly, that is a pretty creative idea. Not so realistic, but … creative.

The exact numbers of Chinese troops fluctuates with different sources, but is alleged by one video blogger—or “vlogger”—to be 300,000 troops in Canada and 600,000 in Mexico. Nearly a million.

Did a truck like this provide sustenance to the Chinese army? Creative Commons photo, Flickr user Trucker Dan

‘The Trucker’

Almost all Chinese invasion conspiracy videos, including this one, recount the story of “The Trucker.” The Trucker is an American big rig driver who was contracted to bring a load of food and groceries to an address “60 miles south of Nuevo Laredo, Mexico.” The Trucker drove to the address in Mexico provided and was let into a secret Chinese military base.

While Chinese soldiers unloaded the food from his truck, The Trucker realized that there were “10,000” Chinese armored vehicles parked there, which he determined by counting the rows. Each Chinese armored vehicle could hold between eight and ten men.

The Chinese troops were living in shipping containers.

He was “very worried” about what he saw.

The name of The Trucker is never given, but since everyone knows his story, he must exist, right?

Where to start with this? First of all, why would Chinese troops in Mexico have food delivered from America? Mexico grows food, too. And if you’re trying to keep a giant Chinese base in Mexico hidden from the Americans, why would you let an American onto the base, count 10,000 vehicles and then let him leave?

How do you even count 10,000 armored vehicles from the ground, on foot?

The secret Chinese military base. Note scale at bottom left. Google Maps screen capture

Secret Chinese military base found!

Another vlogger has found The Trucker’s alleged Chinese military base on Google Maps. The “base” is a huge complex of buildings which he describes as being “two to three miles long.” The complex consists of more than 7,000 house-size buildings, all fairly tightly packed together and aligned in an almost Soviet style.

Apparently the Chinese troops got tired of living in shipping containers and built real housing.

The vlogger questions if this is a civilian housing project … or something more sinister. He notes that the buildings appear to not have driveways or backyards, and they are built pretty close to each other.

A debunker of the base theory found a billboard indicating the “base” is actually a planned housing project. But, the vlogger asks, why does the billboard state that homes could be had for “$150,000"? That’s too much money, in his opinion, for such housing.

According to the vlogger, the debunker said that number could be in pesos—not surprising at all, considering this is Mexico. But at current exchange rates, that would make the homes worth $1.8 million dollars—a completely unrealistic figure

The vlogger says quite emphatically, “Not prepared to say it’s a military base … ” But he’s implying exactly that.

There are lots of problems with this. Anyone who follows along with the vlogger in Google Maps will see that the scale makes the size of the complex about one-quarter his estimate of “two to three miles.” Which he could have corrected if he had just looked at the bottom of his browser window.

Second, the complex does not resemble a military base. The “base” has no sheds for armored vehicles, no obvious headquarters building, no warehouses or cafeterias, no ammunition bunkers and no training ranges. Every building is exactly the same … which is not going to make the commanding general happy, to say the least.

In the vlogger’s limited life experience, something that does not look like American civilian housing must look like a Chinese military base. The reality is, it looks like a sad housing complex where developers tried to pack as many cheap housing units on it as possible, and didn’t care that it wasn’t very close to Nuevo Laredo.

Lastly, 150,000 pesos is not $1.8 million dollars—it’s actually $11,000.

The blogger covers his own rear end by saying that he can’t zoom in on the buildings for a closer look, because he doesn’t have Google Earth. Google Earth is a free program that any PC can run. Instead of investigating it further, he’s content to just pass the rumor on—and be part of that special group that will have been right all along if the Chinese invade.

And if the Chinese don’t? He didn’t believe it anyway.

Beautiful Los Angeles. YouTube screen capture

The Battle of Los Angeles

Another video blogger based in the Los Angeles area believes that Chinese military forces are active in his community. There has been, he states, an increase “in foreign aircraft flying at night,” many of which are Russian … and that means they are very likely Chinese troop transports.

Unfortunately for the Free World, his video camera was inadequate for filming these Chinese troop transports at night, and he thus has no hard evidence.

The Chinese will invade because … well, anyway, the vlogger believes that the Chinese will attempt to invade San Francisco and Los Angeles. He then goes on location to film various places in Los Angeles that he believes will be key in the defense of the city.

Fortunately for America, Los Angeles is in good hands. “This is the greatest city in the world,” the vlogger defiantly states, “and when and if they come to take it, they’re going to have to take it from me. Because it’s mine.”

Okay then.

Chinese armored vehicles rolling through Louisville, Kentucky. YouTube screen capture

A failure of intelligence

In other cases, people with no understanding of foreign military forces mistake Mexican army troops for Chinese … simply because the footage of a Mexican army parade they found was on China’s CCTV. If it’s on Chinese television, the troops must obviously be Chinese. See the Mexican flag? Proof that it’s the Chinese army in Mexico.

Another vlogger, known as the “Man from Modesto,” believes that the Chinese army fields rifles that can use American ammunition. This so that invading troops can use captured ammo, and explains why ammunition for civilian AR-15 rifles is in short supply.

Insert implied U.S. government conspiracy here.

This particular conspiracy theory is especially hard to explain, because it’s totally incoherent. The Man from Modesto is apparently confusing Cold War-era 7.62-millimeter ammunition with modern Russian 5.45-millimeter. Unbeknownst to him, the Chinese military actually uses 5.8-millimeter ammunition. And rifles chambered for 5.8-millimeter ammo cannot, as he claims, use American 5.56-millimeter rounds. As a theory, it’s an utter disaster.

According to yet another video, the Chinese Muslim army is already moving tanks and armored vehicles throughout the USA. Bradley armored vehicles with their national flags blacked out, as well as Humvees with red crescents on them, are being transported on trains in broad daylight. Given that only (Muslim) China and Turkey use the red crescent symbol … well, you can guess whose army that is.

The Chinese should be commended for copying the Bradley fighting vehicle so well that their army can operate openly on American soil in broad daylight.

Except, of course, this is not the Chinese army. It’s the United States Army, moving Bradleys and Humvee ambulances around in a post-Iraq rearrangement of forces. Why are some of the vehicles green? Because most of them didn’t go to Iraq. Why the red crescent? Because they were in—or were supposed to go to—Iraq.

The traitorous Barack Hussein Obama and America’s landlord… or is it repo man? Wikipedia photo.

That traitor, Barack Hussein Obama

One of the central tenets of the Chinese invasion conspiracy is that Obama is somehow centrally at fault. Like some real-life Lando Calrissian, Obama has betrayed America and all it stands for to a foreign empire.

The extent of his culpability varies. At one end of the spectrum, his excessive spending and the resulting government debt have made him personally beholden to the Chinese government, for whom an invasion is simply a creditor’s repossession of deadbeat Obama’s property.

Many of those proposing the Chinese invasion theory seem to think that China owns essentially all of the U.S. public debt. In this case, Obama is just an irresponsible loser, but one whose foolishness has doomed America to servitude.

At the other end, Obama is a Muslim traitor. Why is that important? Because China is a Muslim country. According to the video at the link, the Chinese military and government are fundamentally Muslim in character.

Obama is obviously working with the Chinese Muslim government to pave the way for a full-scale invasion. The collapse of the U.S. economy will decimate the American military. And just in case, Obama is taking away your guns so you can’t shoot the Chinese when they arrive.

Is all of this Chinese invasion stuff just myth making and modern folklore ?

Rumor and folklore

Like all rumor, nailing down the source of Chinese invasion talk is an exercise in futility. Everyone heard a story from someone else. And because everyone is equally intelligent and perceptive and skeptical of that God-damned Obama, everyone must be right. The chain of information is so pure you don’t have to go to the source.

Many vloggers actively believe in the threat of Chinese invasion and the complicity of the president. But sometimes the push behind these conspiracies is decidedly passive-aggressive. “That’s what I was told” is a standard defense among those hawking these crazy theories. I’m just the bearer of information. If anyone got it wrong, it’s not me.

Expectations of conspiracy lead to wild speculation. And when the president of the United States is assumed to be a great traitor, he must of course be leading the country to some equally great treachery. Obama’s not just pursuing gun control to disarm America, he’s doing so in cahoots with China to pave the way for invasion.

Wishful thinking plays a heavy role. A anti-Obama vlogger looking for evidence of the Chinese military in Mexico discovers a housing complex of more than 7,000 homes all built closely together and decides that it looks like a military base.

Despite the wars in Iraq and Afghanistan, sand-colored U.S. Army vehicles with red crescents on them are obviously signs of a Chinese Muslim army. People look at ordinary things and within the context of conspiracy, these things become quite ominous.

In a way, this is all modern folklore. The idea of a Chinese takeover is just part of the folklore of American conspiracy and the idea that the country is constantly in some peril. It’s a legend. And like most legends, it simply isn’t true.

People have always had ways to investigate and dismiss folklore, if they tried hard enough. The vlogger who passed on the rumor of the giant Chinese military base could have downloaded Google Earth, but he chose not to.

As one vlogger notes, “There’s something different going on here.”

And that says it all, really.

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