This Is How the Military Could Kill Godzilla

Weapon-designer plots anti-monster attack

Godzilla. Kings of the monsters. The original Kaiju. Born of humanity’s hubris, it comes from the depths of the Pacific ocean. It comes to wreak havoc. It comes to kill. Some of the more soft-hearted elements of the American military wish to weaponize the beast. Fools! The creature must be destroyed.

But how?

The U.S. Air Force’s 18th Wing in Japan—America’s largest combat wing—thinks it would have no problem felling the beast. Senior Airman Mark Hermann told Air & Space magazine he could destroy the monster with “.50-caliber [machine guns], four helicopters.” He thinks Godzilla is a joke.

He’s wrong. Godzilla is a force of nature. The mighty King of Monsters would shrug off a mere four helicopters armed with machine guns.

There are people in the military taking seriously the threat of giant atomic-powered lizards emerging from the Pacific Ocean. War is Boring spoke with one noted military scientist and weapon designer via email this week to gain some insight into the Pentagon’s options for defeating the kaiju threat.

“It has and needs eyes,” the scientist told us on condition of anonymity. “First thing we need to do is blind it.”

The military has munitions that can do just that, he pointed out. “Unguided rockets filled with white phosphorous would do the trick. Nothing fancy required. Unload from a couple of rotary-wing gunships, a huge barrage, repeat as needed.”

“If the eyes are organic, they will be toast,” our expert added. “If they are machine sensors, the heat of [white phosphorus] will damage or destroy them for sure.”

You read that right. This attack plan would also work against Mechagodzilla. But how would the copter crews dodge Godzilla’s atomic breath? It is, after all, basically walking anti-aircraft artillery.

But Godzilla can lash out in only one direction at a time. Dozens of gunships—America possesses close to a thousand—could fire white phosphorus into the creature’s eyes from multiple directions.

Once the beast is blind and defenseless, the military must deliver a killing blow. The scientist recommended sending two B-2 stealth bombers from Missouri, each loaded with one Massive Ordnance Penetrator.

He was talking about America’s 30,000-pound, precision-guided bunker-buster—one of the biggest munitions ever—filled with a deadly RDX explosive mix and designed to slice through solid rock.

“Cleared in by an Air Force ... air terminal guidance team, the aircraft come in separate sorties a few minutes apart,” our source explained. “Dash 1 drops from over 10,000 feet. That gives the fin-stabilized bomb a chance to gravity-accelerate before impact. Also some stand-off for a slightly non-vertical glide angle.”

The angle is important for maximum damage. “Equipped with laser designators, the team illuminates a point on the massive body that will present a nice near-perpendicular aspect to the glide angle of the descending bomb.”

Imagine Godzilla blindly flailing. A tiny laser dot marks a bullseye on its chest for one of the human race’s most powerful non-nuclear weapons.

“The bomb will penetrate the beast, burying itself in its depths, whether they be organic or machine. Godzilla will be like a giant tub of play-dough,” the scientist said, painting a grisly picture. “With a delay fuse, the blast will have a devastating effect—tons of RDX turning its guts, lungs and mechanisms to plasma, steam and mist.”

But could anything go wrong?

“A bad angle of attack could cause a deflection of the bomb—unlikely for a [Massive Ordinance Penetrator] with such incredible momentum, but still possible,” our source conceded. “That’s why you have Dash 2 follow on in, just in case. If Dash 1 hit the target successfully, Dash 2 drops as well, just to make sure. In fact because this mission is so critical there should be two more MOP-equipped sorties somewhere near.”

What would the clean-up be like?

“There may be a hazmat mess afterwards,” the scientist explained. “But there will be no nuclear explosion. Local radiological clean-up. at worst.”

Godzilla roars into theaters on May 16.

You can follow Matthew Gault on Twitter at @mjgault. Sign up for a daily War is Boring email update here. Subscribe to WIB’s RSS feed here and follow the main page here.