Okay, I’m Naive. Is It Something Bad?
The value of the benefit of the doubt.
“You’re too naïve.” My mother used to tell me when I told her certain stories about the trust I extend to other people. “You trust too easily”, she used to say. Despite all her warnings, I still choose to stick with my idealistic view of the world and refused to heed her words. Now that she’s gone, her words rang in my ears and it scares me a little.
Was she right?
It always gets a bit tricky when it comes to trust. It’s a crazy world we live in. People lie, people cheat, people do whatever it takes to survive, to thrive, to get to the top. Who do we trust?
Who can we trust?
Unfortunately, the answer to that question is we don’t know. And even more unfortunate for us, there is just no way for us to know.
What did I tell my mother when she told me I trust too easily? I kept repeating the same answer, “I’d rather be wrong trusting someone who shouldn’t be trusted and learn a lesson from it, than be wrong not trusting someone who will be proven trustworthy in time.”
I give everyone a benefit of the doubt, an equal fair chance.
People can tell me things about other people. I take every counsel seriously, especially if it comes from people who love me most and only have my best interest at heart (my mom, for example) or people who have earned my trust. After all, it would be foolish not to take precaution.
But even those who love us can be wrong. They are humans prone to human errors too. They might make assumptions based on the wrong rumors. There might just be misunderstanding. Whatever it is, it is better for us to take everything into account and make our own decision when it comes to trust.
The only person you can trust completely and will never betray you is yourself. So when you have doubt, talk to yourself. Ask yourself some questions.
We live in a world full of suspicion. We turn on the TV and we see the media telling us the news of espionage, one country spying on another. We see people building walls, so afraid of people who they see as others take away what they deem is rightfully theirs.
The law of scarcity. People think they might run out if they share.
This mindset is just so sad.
There’s so much to go around. I truly believe that there’s enough for everyone to have a piece of the pie.
We have been granted the abilities to be friends with someone from other side of the world with a click of a mouse, and to talk to someone thousand miles away. We should be coming closer together as one big family.
Not building walls, visible or otherwise. There are so much to share if we only open our eyes and hearts wide to possibilities.
I used to be suspicious and wary of people around me. I couldn’t help it. The environment I was brought up in, I used to be fed beliefs that everyone has ulterior motives. I had my heart broken too, by people I trusted no less.
But it was just so tiring. Being suspicious of everyone. It drained the life out of you. Eventually, you just have to do what you have to do. Break the cycle.
Miraculously, the moment I started giving everyone the benefit of the doubt, I started to feel a thousand times lighter — physically and emotionally.
I’ve become so much happier.
If we don’t learn how to trust again and again and again despite all the pain and ache from our hearts being broken, we will never love again. And what’s the point of life then?
We were born to love. We are love.
Call me naive if you like.
I’ll wear it like a badge of honor.